"Joshua raised the bar!" and other funny conversations

Post ARPC mass meeting, a bunch of us went for drinks at Adam Road hawker centre. Amusing table talk centred around what guys should do to get girls interested in them (hint: it may not be the ability to carve salad bowls and candle-sticks. Or worse, crying while being moved at how well you carve the bowls).

Which led DaMooMan to joke, "It's all church camp's fault. Now every girl in ARPC wants a guy like Pastor Joshua Ng. What hope is there for the rest of us now that he has set the bar so high?" Apparently, Joshua's much lauded choking up when talking about little son and his little Star Wars reenactments with said son had endeared him to many women at ARPC.

I thought about it - I definitely must have thought "awwww....look at how sensitive and sweet the guy is." But that was not the big thing that moved me most. It was more like a "look at how much God matters to this guy." What some of us girls found really moving about the whole thing was he was not just crying about missing his son, but more because he was moved that his little son knew why his father had to sacrifice family time to spread the gospel. That last heart wrenching plea for us to live for Christ and live out His ways sacrificially in all that we do, spreading the true gospel was amazing.

for a man (or woman for that matter) to be attractive, and assuming he/she is going for a godly partner, all he/she really has to do is to seek God first.

It seems to be a simple win-win situation actually. If in becoming more godly, you end up attracting a very godly man/woman, you hit the jackpot - a walk closer to Christ and a new ministry focused more on your spouse and children. If in becoming more godly, you end up still not getting attached, you also hit the jackpot - a walk closer to Christ and an abundance of time and freedom for opportunities to minister . In both cases, you get contentment and joy, albeit in different ways.

But the source stays the same - God supplies the joy.

Singles like me can live on that hope. Joy comes in many forms and singlehood and marriage are both equally lovely gifts because they come from a lovely Giver.

As an odd postscript, I just got my first clandestine inquiry if i minded being "set-up" with some mysterious guy. heh. guess it was just a matter of time before the "setting up" phenomenon came my way. i hear it's catching on in our little church post church camp.
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yet another postscript - conversation with the Moth and CatGirl at church. Thought it was funny because it kinda reminded me of the kind of rubbish conversations about pop culture that might happen in Seinfeld or in Clerks (the Kevin Smith movie)

Moth: I hate touchy feely...!
Me: No you don't you are a musician and music is all about the touchy feely
Catgirl: Bach is quite mathematical actually.
Me: But he likes jazz and soul..that's quite touchy feely.
Moth: No it's not. It comes from here (jabs his own chest)
Me: and that's not touchy feely? in a manly way? anyway It's called SOUL ... that's quite touchy feely
Moth: I am NOT touchy feely. I watch war movies like Band of Brothers... Saving Private Ryan
Me: Saving Private Ryan is like the girliest war movie around.
Catgirl: Yeah actually it is quite touchy feely.
Moth: No it's not!
Me: Oh come on...the last scene where the old guy is weeping over the grave....
Catgirl: "I hope my life was worth it...." sob sob
Moth: OK...ya that was quite (rubs goose pimples on hand and shivers)...but it's not a girly movie!!!!

heehee.

Beautiful/Ugly

So tonight's post pool session rubbish topic was: Can ugly people ever seem beautiful? Or more politically correct....can people who do not look like gods and goddesses ever hope to look remotely attractive?
we were trying to dig up possible examples from society. Mothman cites "Harvey Keitel". I raise a "Steve Buscemi" (ooh that one is tough call). I thought "Mark Lee" of Jack Neo's gang of comics qualified. For all his pockmarked, ah-beng glory, I think Mark Lee has some x-factor that I can see as attractive.

We finally settled on whatever it is, a person must have "Seh" - an air of "Phwoar, he/she has got something" An elusive kind of charisma that just radiates.

I find it hard to be attracted to perfect lookers. Take Brad Pitt, Jude Law, Orlando Bloom as Legolas and Takeshi Kaneshiro. Or MIchelle Pfieffer, Zhang Ziyi, any random supermodel. All deadly chisled and honed classic good looks to a fault. Being attracted right away to them is not even an option - That kind of good looks you would stop and do a double take for. The truth is we all cannot help but look and marvel at something close to perfection. But amazing as they are, they don't fire my imagination, their presence does not linger or haunt my mind. I need to know more about them, what stories they come with before that happens.

The human body is like a marvelous live canvas - our life stories should mark it. Which is one reason why I never liked the whole Botox-facelift-pancake makeup nonsense. Why would you want to erase the signs of age to look like a cariacature of youth?

I think imperfection is underrated. Perfect beauty is definitely head-turning but imperfection more often than not captures the mysterious "Seh".

Imperfection has a realness, an edge, a strange haunting unpretentious earthy quality. It is like looking at something raw and honest. There is power and profoundity in the unfinished and unvarnished. Like acoustic live music compared to studio perfected tunes. Or a quick sketch in a dog-eared sketch book compared to a finished framed artwork. Or hearing people talk about their lives in an unrehearsed moment compared to a delivered polished speech.

Imperfection is less obvious, subtle, profound. I like people that show a life interestingly lived in their faces and bodies...it reflects something closer to the truth of this world. Scars, tattoos, signs of old teenage acne, a lined face without makeup, skinniness, athletic sinews, a few pounds overweight, stretch marks, wrinkles around the eyes, hands that have obviously done hard work, a slight unconfident hunch. Its like a little collection of stories to be deconstructed.

I think Kate Winslet's earthiness makes her beauty more profound than Michelle Pfieffer. I like Kristen Scott Thomas' sad, slightly crow feet lined eyes. Mother Teresa's worn face radiates something deeper and lovelier for every haunting line drawn across it.

I guess "Seh" arises when something meaningful, something that speaks of a person's private beliefs or hard-worn character shines through the cracks. A less classically good looking person can suddenly look wonderful if you see him/her with new eyes. An already good looking person blessed with an equally gorgeous character....phwoar. That admittedly would be potent combo! :) But meanwhile, my heart is with the less perfect.

I once observed a guy I knew playing with kids in a child care centre. Back then, his face was reddened with teenage acne, he had odd floppy beng hair and slightly girly looking eyes. But when he horsed around a bunch of rambunctious kids and every inch of him radiated "Big brother", his eyes alight with laughter....now that was beautiful. That was who he was. His imperfect looks were but an unvarnished frame to the true portrait within of something lovely and sweetly human.