church camp 2005 afterthoughts part one

stealing the first line from Shadow's blog - "i loved church camp"

At the risk of sounding like a complete nut job - Somehow this year, I felt something almost tangibly shift inside me. As if the Holy Spirit was actually physically moving a part of my heathen self and gently replacing it with something new, something more of a Godly nature. And I could feel this change in nature come out in my actions and words at church camp itself.

I talked more to other people this year. I felt compelled to stop looking out for my security blankets of familiar friends and faces and reach out to strangers in the Body of Christ. I don't like doing that frankly - reaching out is something I have to actively remind myself to do because my instincts tell me to do otherwise. But it was really really nice to know that Christ had changed me enough to actually mov me to enjoy and draw happiness from talking to strangers.

There were times at church camp as I advised people in their christian walk or as I led Bible study, where I knew the things I was saying, the way I was saying them was truly not me at work. It sounds so corny and almost trite to say "Jesus/ God/the Holy Spirit was speaking through me", but that's exactly how it felt. Being reminded in 1 Peter the past few weeks that I am called not to be ashamed of the gospel helps me overcome the fear of saying this. I realise voicing out God's work is not trite or corny - it's real.

It's wonderfully, fearfully real to know the Gospel is alive. In me, in every Christian is something dreadfully, beautifully alive and waiting to evolve you from the inside out, waiting to emerge. If it sounds like something from Aliens, I would say the analogy is not without some merit. The work of the Holy Spirit within and how it changes us is not cute-sy Hallmark, Pass-It-On card stuff. Sometimes it is warm and fuzzy, but sometimes it is something frightening, challenging and painful.

A part of me would be listening to myself from the outside and thinking 'Wow. God you really really are alive and working something in and through me. Even now, I can feel myself changing because of you' Even more poignantly, this same feeling would come over as I listened to the pastors preach or listened to the affirming life-stories of fellow Christians at camp.

When Chris preached in the last sermon about how the gospel was something alive and passed on from person to person in a form that went beyond mere words, I understood and was moved. In the beginning was the Word, and the Word went through prophet after prophet, disciple after disciple, believer after believer.

And somehow in the centuries, this LIVING WORD, this strange amalgamation of written/spoken/emoted Word, came to me, came to Philip Jensen, came to Pastor Chris, came to each person in ARPC, came to anyone who cared to hear.

And this Living Word will continue to emerge, and go out from us to change lives.

I see it happening. My eyes are open. How amazing to see for the first time with great clarity what wiser men than I meant when they declared "The Gospel is Alive"

The fear of the Lord indeed is the beginning of wisdom, the start of the "great fountain of life" within the human heart.

so much to blog about. want to remember the people i met and the things i heard. but work calls . :)