my first night in italy was spent in a 8 bed mixed dorm in Carlito's Way Hostel. The hostel itself was actually quite well designed and well thought out - good value for 20 Euros.
Out of 8 fellow dorm-mites, only 2 were gross. and boy, do they take the cake. and yes sadly, they are Americans - frat boys out to showcase their culture at its worst.
Seriously, many of the American travellers I met in Italy were doing their nation no favours - they cursed colourfully, they talked loudly about how "in america we would do things differently", showed off their serious lack of general knowledge, farted proudly and talked trash about their friends for the world to hear ("i mean dude, seriously, she thinks she's like da bomb but that girl is a beeeeyotch man...") bleargh.
it was like "American Pie 4: European Vacation".
It's hard not to roll your eyes when you hear 18 year old girls look at Michealangelo's Pieta and say in Valley Girl accents, "Who's Mary holding?"
hmmm....I dunno, sweetie, Ryan Seacrest perhaps?
but i digress into bitchiness.
back to tales of dorm horror.
So directions first: I had one Frat sleeping on the bunk above me and one Frat sleeping on the bunk beside me. A nice American 20 year old couple sleeping one bed down from me.
Frats had gone drinking till 2am. BY the time they stumbled back into dorm, everyone was asleep (till they bumbled in). Frat above me flounces heavily on bunk above mine and breathes slobberingly to sleep with sonorous snores.
Minutes later, I hear Frat 2 stumble in and attempt to wake up his buddy. I of course, being in the bunk below, get the choice view of seeing FRat 2's lovely beer-keg belly and boxer shorts as he tries to shake Frat 1 awake. Yuck.
Frat 2: Trip! TRip! wake up man...wake up...
Frat 1: Git the f**** away...lemme sleeep
Frat 2: TRip...wake up buddy...wake up...do it for the brotherhood man...come on Trip...I have always come through for you.
Frat 1: Shut the f**** up man...geeez
Frat 2: Trip....you owe me. come on, don't be selfish....TRip! (goes on for a good 15 min about the brotherhood)
Frat 1: whadya f****ing want? zzzzz
Frat 2: Trip, where are your condoms? I got a girl who wants me...where your condoms? come through for me buddy
(Frat 2goes on for good 10 min as his 'bro' curses him to go away in between tired mumbling. By then whole dorm must have been awake.)
GIrl from couple downstream of my bed: Listen guys, you are waking up everyone. If I just give you my condoms will you shut up and go away?
( does everyone in this room have condoms or something?? by this time, i am wondering if i have wandered onto set of some hormonal American high school movie.)
Trip agreeably takes condoms from the girl and stumbles out to Lord knows where. Twenty minutes later, I needed to go to the bathroom.
WAlked in to the shared bathroom and heard the showers going. My first thought was.....Oh.......crap.....they better not be in there. All I needed to hear was wonderful, tell tale groans before I hightailed out of there as fast as I could.
ew ew ew ew EW! what poor desperate backpackin' soul had Mr Beer Keg-Boxers Boy managed to con? ack.
attempting to fall asleep to the deep French Horn-like snores of Trip, the non condom sharing Frat, I thanked the fact that the second night I was going to have a private room with less drama.
thus ended my first night in the Eternal City. Go figure.
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