Boot Camp

talked and talked and talked for the whole of today. A level Boot Camp is no joke man. My day as a long running gabfest would look like this:

Don'tWriteAboutBigEvilMedia!
BalanceWithIdeaOfMediaAsPossibleInitiatorofSocioPoliticalChangeYa?
HeardoftheZapatistaRebels?ReformationandRenaissanceandGutenbergBible?
Glasnost?CensorshipIsNecessary.WhatAboutThatVoltaireGuy.
RememberGuyRightsCannotBeDivorcedFromResponsibility!
HowDoesMediaProgrammingTodayLinkToViolence?
Passivity?AgressiveTendencies?BeholdenToPoliticalAgendas?
IsTVCompletelyUseless?WestWingAsCleverCommentryOnAmericanForeignPolicy!
YouDon'tKnowWhatIsSesameStreet?WahLauBertandErnie?
YesBananaTradeWarIsGoodExampleofCorporatePressureOnMedia
OhDon'tForgetWatergateScandaletcetcetcetcetcetc..........

sometimes when I end the day I am just completely talked out. My words come out tongue twisted and garbled. Towards the end of the day, I start repeating my words to kids because I keep stumbling on my tongue. Its a fun job but honestly, sometimes I wonder how scary it is that they are taking down every single word I say.

I try to warn them jokingly,"Oy, I am making this up as I go along. Don't assume everything I say is grammatically correct!" I get mildly worried when they remind me I never completed one of my sentences. I have to remind them why I dropped the sentence half way was because the syntax got screwed up. They jot jot jot jot down everything any way and look all giggly when I tell them like some whacko Pai Mei-esque sensei,"Don't just COPY! Understand! See The Point! See The Link. Understand and Apply!" I need me some bushy white eyebrows.

It's so cute to look at them and remember what it was like to be 18 and panicky. I still get the rare recurring nightmare about A level Chinese exam paper that I failed to study for. haha.

Other things I tell them irreverently:
"Fail A levels neh mind. Can sell chicken rice. I tell you go find a nice old famous hawker who has ungrateful sons who don't want to study his art. Go bai him as shi fu. Then even if you have F for GP, you can still drive Mercedes and be in Makansutra."

"Don't do well for A level also still got hope. Look at David Gan, he is practically illiterate and he lives in the penthouse at Paterson Edge and sits on Versace furniture. Elim Chew, Jean Yip all these people, they don't have grades but they have guts. That makes the difference ok. Don't play play. Not doing well may end up being the best thing that happened to you."

"Aiyah, just do your best. I swear everything will work out some how. Can one. Any way, even if you don't do well, think about how amazingly fortunate you still are in Singapore - all the multiple opportunities. Sleep on the street also can depend on the policeman to pick you up and put you in a home for vagrants. You could have been born in Rwanda. If those guys can hope in something, you can too. A levels is SO not the end of the world."

But as we all can testify, at that age when an adult says things like that, you don't really believe them anyway. Some things just need perspective and the enlightenment of Been There Done That.

Ended day at 11pm drowning in blissful brainless trashiness of girly magazines, toasted sandwiches frm Hans, re-reading Revelation 21 and 22 and praying with a friend. Now working on design project. probably end at 3am.

But it was a busy but nice productive day.

And tiny flash of existential angst from night before has simmered down. Amazing what a night's sleep will do.

Now thinking : Little steps, little steps. God knows what He is doing. Don't fret too much about things beyond your control or understanding. Just overcome. Just stay true. Don't be cowardly. Just stay faithful.

In a little while, you say? Okay Boss. I believe ya.