Conversations with Psycho Cabby

Was taking yet another 1am cab ride home and I flagged down an innocuous looking red taxi. The cabby was a 40 something year old chinese man with pale-as-a-fish kind of skin. The whole cab smelled of baby powder which should have signalled to be his innate psycho-ness......(cue scary music) We drove past Suntec City where a lot of spring cleaning has been taking place in anticipation of the big IMF meeting coming up in Singapore.

Me: (attempting to be friendly) Wow, they are really putting up a lot of new plants on the road for the IMF people ah?

Cabby: Ya, every night they are paving the roads. Very inconvenient. Cause traffic jam.

Me: Aiyah, must make things look nice for the important people what.

Cabby: (slowly working up a steam to turn into Mr Hyde) Ha! Important people? You know the cab company send me letter telling me I must be nice to the IMF people who get into my taxi?

Me: Is it?

Cabby: (starting to sound really pissy) Yah! The IMF people ah - get this taxi gift certificates that they can use like money like that. Then the company say must be like tour guide to them you know? If they want electronics, must bring them to Sim Lim. If they want good food, can go Newton....WHAT!!!!!?? Like They so BIG SHOT is it?

PSYCHO CABBY: (his other personality is out!!!!)
If they tell me they want girls, I give them GEYLANG ah! Like all the tourists come ask for girl, I say GEYLANG ah!
The taxi company is so BLARDY big shot is it?? WAHHHHHH! THOSE F****ING BASTARDS!!!!!! You think I got a lot of money bring BIGSHOT to go out is it?? WAH WAH, Lee Hsien Loong very big deal is it???

WAH IF I GET THAT IMF GUY IN MY CABBY, I TEEEELLLLLLLL HIM EVVVVVEEEEERRRRRYTHING BAD ABOUT SINGAPORE AH!!!!

Me:........(thinking 'just get me home, just get me home')

(brief awkward silence in cab while I keep quiet and cabby deflates)

Cabby: ...So Miss, you work very late ah?

Me: No lah. Its ok.

Cabby: Ha. Last time I work for other people, I also work very late. Now I am cabby, I am much happier.

Me:.......!!!!!????!!!!!!!......


Geez. IF this is him much happier, i don't really wanna see him in his last job. LOL.