Literary Meme #1: Stray Thoughts
"1. Grab the nearest book
2. Open the book to page 123
3. Find the fifth sentence
4. Post the text of the next 3 sentences (#5,6,7) on your blog, along with these instructions.
5. Don't you dare dig for that "cool" or "intellectual" book in your closet! I know you were thinking about it. Just grab what is closest. No cheating."
My nearest book was in my bag "Soul Survivor - How 13 Unlikely Mentors Helped Me Survive The Church" by Philip Yancey. The sentences come from the chapter about Leo Tolstoy and Feodor Dostoevsky. Two authors I keep feeling inspired to read but never actually getting down to it.
"As I look back now on the cloister of Southern fundamentalism in which I grew up, I wonder if perhaps I suffered from a narcissitic disorder. I saw the world through the shuttered windows of church and family, with no ability to project out of myself and comprehend the viewpoint of, say, a sharecropper in rural Alabama or a Polish immigrant in the Bronx, much less a member of the aristocracy or a peasant in 19th century Russia. Tolstoy threw open the curtains, beckoning me into a world I knew nothing about."
Great book! The opening chapter about pastor turned controversial civil rights activist Martin Luther King Jr. and the closing chapter about Catholic priest Henri Nouwen are truly moving. The last paragraph in the Nouwen chapter is just....phwoar.
Literary Meme #2: 6 Writers who Shaped Your Thinking (and their book that meant the most to you so far)
1) Louisa M Alcott - the Little Women quartet (Little Women, Good Wives, Little Men and Jo's Boys)
2) Anita Roddick - Business as Unusual
3) Paul of Tarsus - First Letter to the Corinthians
4) John Zebedee- The Gospel of John
5) Philip Yancey - What's So Amazing About Grace?
6) C S Lewis - Mere Christianity
Tuesday, January 31, 2006
Saturday, January 28, 2006
Faking Church
just thought i would plug a pretty good book I finished this week. It's called FAKING CHURCH by Dan Schaeffer. It addresses the phenomenon of how even the most well-intentioned Christian can be faking his way through his relationships with other people. Gently written as much as possible, this book is still a real jolting reminder that christians need to constantly take an honest look at why we serve and how we do so. I like that Schaeffer keeps everything very real, grounded in his own mistakes in ministry and in the cases he sees in his own church.
When I read it, I felt compelled to ask myself a lot of hard questions behind the things that I do or say. It's pretty humbling, sobering stuff and not for the faint of faith. But it is well worth a read whether you are serving in a ministry or not. :)
___________________
on the other side, I stumbled across a superduperly ODIOUS website full of self-righteous Christians mocking the works and ministries of other churches. Not gonna post their website address.
I was quite taken aback by their snide, easy judgementalism, all backed by dozens of Scriptural references. ARGH!!!!!!!! How can you look at God's words and not see? Worse of all, in the Comments section, you can read how they all pat each other on the back for being the faithful servants of God keeping the sinful world at bay. It's like "oh congratulations, you so rightfully pointed out that XXXXXXX looks exactly like a sluttish whore of Babylon on her book cover. Her eyes look exactly like a witch's. tsk tsk, she's going to hell."
ARGH ARGH ARGH. This is why 'conservative christians' has become an insult. No no no no. Why are you people doing this?! Have you not seen? Have you not heard? How many times did Jesus tell you he (not you!) will come to judge? You hard-hearted, blind .....gah! (end of rant)
When I read it, I felt compelled to ask myself a lot of hard questions behind the things that I do or say. It's pretty humbling, sobering stuff and not for the faint of faith. But it is well worth a read whether you are serving in a ministry or not. :)
___________________
on the other side, I stumbled across a superduperly ODIOUS website full of self-righteous Christians mocking the works and ministries of other churches. Not gonna post their website address.
I was quite taken aback by their snide, easy judgementalism, all backed by dozens of Scriptural references. ARGH!!!!!!!! How can you look at God's words and not see? Worse of all, in the Comments section, you can read how they all pat each other on the back for being the faithful servants of God keeping the sinful world at bay. It's like "oh congratulations, you so rightfully pointed out that XXXXXXX looks exactly like a sluttish whore of Babylon on her book cover. Her eyes look exactly like a witch's. tsk tsk, she's going to hell."
ARGH ARGH ARGH. This is why 'conservative christians' has become an insult. No no no no. Why are you people doing this?! Have you not seen? Have you not heard? How many times did Jesus tell you he (not you!) will come to judge? You hard-hearted, blind .....gah! (end of rant)
dream dream dream
this post is triggered off by Orangeclouds' posting about her strange angry dream. Suddenly made me recall that i had the oddest dream last night - one more to add to my collection of strange movie-dreams.
________________________________________________
I am hustling through a dark neighbourhood filled with confusing side-streets and poorly marked signposts. I am obviously hurrying "home" - wherever home is in the dream. A group of strangers run past me at one point carrying parangs. I am momentarily freaked but glad that they ignored me. Feeling tense and scared, I finally find the compound I am looking for.
In front of the compound, a guard says, "Quick, get in , get in, they are looking for people." He resumes sitting on his wooden stool, pretending to slump casually so he does not alert anyone of the tension going within the compound.
I fumble at the crusty old wooden gate, wondering where the latch is. When I finally find it and step in to the courtyard, I see a man being tended to by a woman. He sees me and says, "They chopped off my fingers."
I look at his hands - indeed, they are a mangled jigsaw of flesh. Some fingers are foreshortened, some have been crudely sewn back. His hands are an angry red colour.
I wake up.
___________________________________________________
bizarro. This goes down in the books, right next to my "Conversations with Hitler", "Japanese Samurai Household Dies in Symbolic Glory and "Attack of the KIller Cartoon Shark" dreams. They are just so way out there beyond comprehension.
My recurring dreams are simpler to understand - "Going To Europe And Discovering I did not Pack" is about fear of not being prepared. "Chinese Exam Day And Discovering I did not Study" is about fear of not being prepared (again!) and old chinese exam anxiety (yes, it still haunts me), "My Room Turns into the Temple of Doom!" is about my childhood paranoia about snakes.
I have yet to figure out what those dreams about losing all your teeth mean.
Best recurring dreams I have had would be "Travelling in Europe for a month and only waking up when plane touches down" (desire to go on more holidays) and "Cute Guy Shares Umbrella With Me in the Rain" (desire for cute guy to share umbrella with me in the rain? cheeeeem.)
Someday, it would be nice if God could tell us why he gave us strange dreams. Freud's answers just cannot make it ah!
________________________________________________
I am hustling through a dark neighbourhood filled with confusing side-streets and poorly marked signposts. I am obviously hurrying "home" - wherever home is in the dream. A group of strangers run past me at one point carrying parangs. I am momentarily freaked but glad that they ignored me. Feeling tense and scared, I finally find the compound I am looking for.
In front of the compound, a guard says, "Quick, get in , get in, they are looking for people." He resumes sitting on his wooden stool, pretending to slump casually so he does not alert anyone of the tension going within the compound.
I fumble at the crusty old wooden gate, wondering where the latch is. When I finally find it and step in to the courtyard, I see a man being tended to by a woman. He sees me and says, "They chopped off my fingers."
I look at his hands - indeed, they are a mangled jigsaw of flesh. Some fingers are foreshortened, some have been crudely sewn back. His hands are an angry red colour.
I wake up.
___________________________________________________
bizarro. This goes down in the books, right next to my "Conversations with Hitler", "Japanese Samurai Household Dies in Symbolic Glory and "Attack of the KIller Cartoon Shark" dreams. They are just so way out there beyond comprehension.
My recurring dreams are simpler to understand - "Going To Europe And Discovering I did not Pack" is about fear of not being prepared. "Chinese Exam Day And Discovering I did not Study" is about fear of not being prepared (again!) and old chinese exam anxiety (yes, it still haunts me), "My Room Turns into the Temple of Doom!" is about my childhood paranoia about snakes.
I have yet to figure out what those dreams about losing all your teeth mean.
Best recurring dreams I have had would be "Travelling in Europe for a month and only waking up when plane touches down" (desire to go on more holidays) and "Cute Guy Shares Umbrella With Me in the Rain" (desire for cute guy to share umbrella with me in the rain? cheeeeem.)
Someday, it would be nice if God could tell us why he gave us strange dreams. Freud's answers just cannot make it ah!
Wednesday, January 25, 2006
mental games
was looking at article about how Constance (the former VJC girl, ex air stewardess who fell in love with a karang guni man)finally got convicted for killing little Sindee Neo. The photo they had of Constance was so normal looking and sweet-faced. The psychologist's take was that Constance had spiralled into where she was now because her schizophrenia went unchecked.
I wonder what was going through her head from her fresh faced JC days all the way to her standing before the judge, getting her sentence.
here's one ridiculous conundrum i find myself on some moody days:
sometimes i will start by wishing people were easier to understand or easier to talk to.
Then I start wondering how easy I am for someone else to understand.
Then I worry that though I may think I am easy to get to know, I may be deceiving myself in actuality.
Then I start worrying about whether I am a hypocrite.
rinse. repeat. angst.
kick self in backside.
return to living normal life.
I wonder what other unproductive mental cycles of silliness we all have within us? Those private, bizarro self-defeating mental routines that are triggered by goodness knows what? What little madness-es do we have within us and hide?
sometimes when i see 'mad people' or extremely socially awkward people, i wonder exactly how disimilar i am actually from them.
hmm.
I wonder what was going through her head from her fresh faced JC days all the way to her standing before the judge, getting her sentence.
here's one ridiculous conundrum i find myself on some moody days:
sometimes i will start by wishing people were easier to understand or easier to talk to.
Then I start wondering how easy I am for someone else to understand.
Then I worry that though I may think I am easy to get to know, I may be deceiving myself in actuality.
Then I start worrying about whether I am a hypocrite.
rinse. repeat. angst.
kick self in backside.
return to living normal life.
I wonder what other unproductive mental cycles of silliness we all have within us? Those private, bizarro self-defeating mental routines that are triggered by goodness knows what? What little madness-es do we have within us and hide?
sometimes when i see 'mad people' or extremely socially awkward people, i wonder exactly how disimilar i am actually from them.
hmm.
Tuesday, January 24, 2006
boob tube
So on the 1030pm bus ride home, I lug myself up the double deck. Sit down and lo and behold, TV mobile is beaming the Victoria Secret show. The wonders of technology - Free Boob-Show across hundreds of buses across Singapore! LIVE! In Technicolour!
I am not exaggerating to say almost every single male on the upper floor could not keep their eyes from wandering towards the flickering images of boobsy supermodels struttin' their stuff in the flimsiest of bra and panty combos. Even I had a hard time stopping myself from giving the models the once over. After all, those ubiquitous angel wings and bling-blings Tyra Banks and Heidi Klum were sporting weren't exactly doing a great job at providing cover.
Quite funny to see how the Victoria Secret show tried to 'intelligent' up their show by having industry experts comment on how talented Miz Banks was, how she brought 'a certain something' to the poses and runway strut. Okaaaay.
Anyhow, its definitely a mildly disturbing experience to sit among a whole floor of guys - young teens and old uncles - so obviously hypnotised by the boob tube. Ack. It parallels the time I went to a comic convention and saw a whole ARMY of guys camcordering this girl dressed up as Lara Croft, the Tomb Raider. You could tell from their expressions what they were trying to capture. Ew ew ew!
hello, TV Mobile! what's up with the boob parade!?
I am not exaggerating to say almost every single male on the upper floor could not keep their eyes from wandering towards the flickering images of boobsy supermodels struttin' their stuff in the flimsiest of bra and panty combos. Even I had a hard time stopping myself from giving the models the once over. After all, those ubiquitous angel wings and bling-blings Tyra Banks and Heidi Klum were sporting weren't exactly doing a great job at providing cover.
Quite funny to see how the Victoria Secret show tried to 'intelligent' up their show by having industry experts comment on how talented Miz Banks was, how she brought 'a certain something' to the poses and runway strut. Okaaaay.
Anyhow, its definitely a mildly disturbing experience to sit among a whole floor of guys - young teens and old uncles - so obviously hypnotised by the boob tube. Ack. It parallels the time I went to a comic convention and saw a whole ARMY of guys camcordering this girl dressed up as Lara Croft, the Tomb Raider. You could tell from their expressions what they were trying to capture. Ew ew ew!
hello, TV Mobile! what's up with the boob parade!?
Wednesday, January 18, 2006
super belated christmas pic
Kudos to Alto for the trigger happiness. Kudos to all for the game participation in Mission:Carol To Your Folks.
People displayed love in many ways on christmas 2005. Let's keep that up and see what christmas 2006 will usher.
People displayed love in many ways on christmas 2005. Let's keep that up and see what christmas 2006 will usher.
Tuesday, January 17, 2006
An Insight into God's Love
Today's bible study was still on the 1st chapter of the Book of John. I had read through it in the afternoon and I was kind of dry of any major insights. Basically, nothing leapt out to me as particularly striking or memorable. So it was really encouraging to find that studying the Word together with the group at night brought a fresh look at what seemed like a pretty innocuous little episode in the dramatic Book of John. I must have breezed past these 5 verses so many times without catching how... profoundly... moving it is:
_____________________________________________________________________
John 1:44-50
Philip, like Andrew and Peter, was from the town of Bethsaida. Philip found Nathanael and told him, "We have found the one Moses wrote about in the Law, and about whom the prophets also wrote—Jesus of Nazareth, the son of Joseph."
"Nazareth! Can anything good come from there?" Nathanael asked. "Come and see," said Philip.
When Jesus saw Nathanael approaching, he said of him, "Here is a true Israelite, in whom there is nothing false."
"How do you know me?" Nathanael asked.
Jesus answered, "I saw you while you were still under the fig tree before Philip called you."
Then Nathanael declared, "Rabbi, you are the Son of God; you are the King of Israel."
Jesus said, "You believe because I told you I saw you under the fig tree. You shall see greater things than that." He then added, "I tell you the truth, you shall see heaven open, and the angels of God ascending and descending on the Son of Man."
_____________________________________________________________________
You have to ask yourself, why on earth did John the Apostle think this little exchange between Jesus and Nat so worthy of recording? Nat is hardly an iconic figure versus Doubting Thomas or Peter the Rock. Nat hardly gets featured much beyond this little exchange. Up to now, I don't think I remembered there was even a Nat in the gospels. Jesus did, though, and I think that's the point.
Picture this: Nat walks up to Jesus without expectations. He thinks he is just checking out what Philip is making such a fuss about. He had just mused aloud to Philip about the impossibility of Jesus, the supposed heavenly Son of God, coming from a rundown backwater town like Nazareth.
Jesus looks at this guy, sums him up in a glance and makes this absolutely way-out compliment,"Here is a true Israelite, in whom there is nothing false." I mean, seriously...if someone came up to you and told you that you were 100% True Quality, you would gently remind the person, "Please! I am still human! I am not perfect."
Is Nat the True Israelite? If so, why aren't we writing books about him and calling him a saint? How could we have overlooked this paragon of virtue in history, certified by Jesus Christ himself? Surely, Nat must be a normal bloke. Nothing else in history - aside from this exchange - renders him otherwise (as normal as the rest of the disciples at least).
How about Nat's reply - "How do you know me?" Either Nat is being outrageously audacious in agreeing with Christ's assessment of him as Israel's Boy Wonder. OR he is being earnest, a little awed and doubting. I would go for the second option as I think it makes more sense.
If someone told me I was 100% True Quality, and if that someone was really quite perfect himself, I would respond that way. I would not be able to believe the compliment without hesitation. I would filter that compliment through my own glasses of self-introspection. I would like to know how it is that this guy Knows me in a way I don't Know myself.
No doubt this must be running through Nat's normal bloke-like head. That's what makes Jesus' reply so profoundly moving and enigmatic - "I saw you while you were still under the fig tree before Philip called you."
With one simple sweet sentence, he strikes right at Nat's heart, through every fear and every doubt. He just tells him I AM the God beyond all time and all space. I knew you even before it was your time to come to me. I saw you for what you were before I met you. And now that you stand before me, understand this - I Know. I Know.
That's all that Nat needs to realise the compliment is no less than God in human form Himself. His breath crushed out from him as he tries to grasp the bigness of what he has just heard, he declares in awe, '"Rabbi...you are the Son of God...you....are the King of Israel."
Convinced by the emotional power of the moment, he lays his first promise of faith before Jesus. Yet, his new Lord looks at him and Knows this as well. Jesus offers this very sharp insight in surprising gentleness and grace - "You believe because I told you I saw you under the fig tree. You shall see greater things than that. I tell you the truth, you shall see heaven open, and the angels of God ascending and descending on the Son of Man"
What amazing grace is this? Jesus knew Nat believed at this point only because of the sheer power and emotion of the moment. Yet he kindly promises him signs of greater things that will help his belief take deeper root and find larger form. Jesus saw/sees who Nat is/will become as long as he abides in Him - a true Israelite, without blemish or falsehood.
Nat may not be able to see himself as clearly as Jesus sees himself but One Day - One Final Day - he will. Till then, let him rest in the assurance that Some One loves him enough to see all that he will be, not what he presently is.
We are exactly like Nat - ordinary in a sense, not cosmically heroic, full of little doubts and fears. And for us Christians, we all have had that one day, where despite our silly remarks and general ignorance, Jesus met us in an unforgettable encounter. He blew our minds away with the depth, height and breadth of his Love for us. So many of the writers of Psalms breathe endlessly about the love they feel from the wonder of having a God know who you were as your little atoms were being slowly knit together in the womb.
I think its hard for human beings to find someone they can trust enough to know them and still love and forgive them. I don't think any of us can find another being of that calibre. Even our best friend or spouse cannot unflinchingly access the deepest, most personal, most shameful, darkest, smallest parts of You.
But God sees and Knows and does not turn away. I think that's why so many of us Christians fell in Love with him. You can't help it when you are faced with that kind of Love.
Like Nat, we must wonder - how can you love me so much? How can you, the Perfect God, pay me such a compliment that I too am Perfect? Jesus answers - Have faith and remain in me. I Know already what you were, what you are and what you shall be. I shall make you clean. I shall make you real. True. Perfect. Because I am real, true, perfect. You don't see clearly. I do. Trust how I see you and how I see things. And have the faith to live accordingly.
I think being a Christian gets much easier and much more beautiful when we grasp more and more of that truth. His Love is enough. Understand the full depth of that grace we have been extended and you can run through life with feet fleet as a deer. You will scale new heights. Not by your work. By His grace.
When we are deeply loved, joy and genuine living is simply a natural outcome. We love because we have been loved and known first.
We are a living work of art. Artists Know fully the perfect vision of their work in their heads. They understand the process of perfecting can be a painful, funny, messy, beautiful, terrible thing. If a process sketch looked at himself, he would see scribbles and scratches and a faint concept of perfection. It would be terribly difficult for a 2-Dimensional sketch to imagine what the 3-Dimensional Artist must be visualising. He may not understand that he is Fully Known already despite his scribbly state. But he does not need to understand at this moment...as long as he knows in part for now, and keeps faith, he will see that Perfection come one day. Just as the Artist has always Known.
No wonder Paul the Apostle writes so breathlessly in 1 Cor 13:12-13:
"Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known. And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love."
Indeed. We are already creatures that are fully Known. It is the fully Known version of our little selves that God sees and welcomes into his Heaven. Fully Known only through being fully loved. And Christians only know this because we too made the same simple faithful response Nat had so many years ago when faced with Jesus himself - "You are...the Son of God."
Just a response. Nothing more. Nothing less.
That's all it takes to understand the secret of the KIngdom of God.
Let's spend a moment to just bask in the tremendous-ness of that fact.
_____________________________________________________________________
John 1:44-50
Philip, like Andrew and Peter, was from the town of Bethsaida. Philip found Nathanael and told him, "We have found the one Moses wrote about in the Law, and about whom the prophets also wrote—Jesus of Nazareth, the son of Joseph."
"Nazareth! Can anything good come from there?" Nathanael asked. "Come and see," said Philip.
When Jesus saw Nathanael approaching, he said of him, "Here is a true Israelite, in whom there is nothing false."
"How do you know me?" Nathanael asked.
Jesus answered, "I saw you while you were still under the fig tree before Philip called you."
Then Nathanael declared, "Rabbi, you are the Son of God; you are the King of Israel."
Jesus said, "You believe because I told you I saw you under the fig tree. You shall see greater things than that." He then added, "I tell you the truth, you shall see heaven open, and the angels of God ascending and descending on the Son of Man."
_____________________________________________________________________
You have to ask yourself, why on earth did John the Apostle think this little exchange between Jesus and Nat so worthy of recording? Nat is hardly an iconic figure versus Doubting Thomas or Peter the Rock. Nat hardly gets featured much beyond this little exchange. Up to now, I don't think I remembered there was even a Nat in the gospels. Jesus did, though, and I think that's the point.
Picture this: Nat walks up to Jesus without expectations. He thinks he is just checking out what Philip is making such a fuss about. He had just mused aloud to Philip about the impossibility of Jesus, the supposed heavenly Son of God, coming from a rundown backwater town like Nazareth.
Jesus looks at this guy, sums him up in a glance and makes this absolutely way-out compliment,"Here is a true Israelite, in whom there is nothing false." I mean, seriously...if someone came up to you and told you that you were 100% True Quality, you would gently remind the person, "Please! I am still human! I am not perfect."
Is Nat the True Israelite? If so, why aren't we writing books about him and calling him a saint? How could we have overlooked this paragon of virtue in history, certified by Jesus Christ himself? Surely, Nat must be a normal bloke. Nothing else in history - aside from this exchange - renders him otherwise (as normal as the rest of the disciples at least).
How about Nat's reply - "How do you know me?" Either Nat is being outrageously audacious in agreeing with Christ's assessment of him as Israel's Boy Wonder. OR he is being earnest, a little awed and doubting. I would go for the second option as I think it makes more sense.
If someone told me I was 100% True Quality, and if that someone was really quite perfect himself, I would respond that way. I would not be able to believe the compliment without hesitation. I would filter that compliment through my own glasses of self-introspection. I would like to know how it is that this guy Knows me in a way I don't Know myself.
No doubt this must be running through Nat's normal bloke-like head. That's what makes Jesus' reply so profoundly moving and enigmatic - "I saw you while you were still under the fig tree before Philip called you."
With one simple sweet sentence, he strikes right at Nat's heart, through every fear and every doubt. He just tells him I AM the God beyond all time and all space. I knew you even before it was your time to come to me. I saw you for what you were before I met you. And now that you stand before me, understand this - I Know. I Know.
That's all that Nat needs to realise the compliment is no less than God in human form Himself. His breath crushed out from him as he tries to grasp the bigness of what he has just heard, he declares in awe, '"Rabbi...you are the Son of God...you....are the King of Israel."
Convinced by the emotional power of the moment, he lays his first promise of faith before Jesus. Yet, his new Lord looks at him and Knows this as well. Jesus offers this very sharp insight in surprising gentleness and grace - "You believe because I told you I saw you under the fig tree. You shall see greater things than that. I tell you the truth, you shall see heaven open, and the angels of God ascending and descending on the Son of Man"
What amazing grace is this? Jesus knew Nat believed at this point only because of the sheer power and emotion of the moment. Yet he kindly promises him signs of greater things that will help his belief take deeper root and find larger form. Jesus saw/sees who Nat is/will become as long as he abides in Him - a true Israelite, without blemish or falsehood.
Nat may not be able to see himself as clearly as Jesus sees himself but One Day - One Final Day - he will. Till then, let him rest in the assurance that Some One loves him enough to see all that he will be, not what he presently is.
We are exactly like Nat - ordinary in a sense, not cosmically heroic, full of little doubts and fears. And for us Christians, we all have had that one day, where despite our silly remarks and general ignorance, Jesus met us in an unforgettable encounter. He blew our minds away with the depth, height and breadth of his Love for us. So many of the writers of Psalms breathe endlessly about the love they feel from the wonder of having a God know who you were as your little atoms were being slowly knit together in the womb.
I think its hard for human beings to find someone they can trust enough to know them and still love and forgive them. I don't think any of us can find another being of that calibre. Even our best friend or spouse cannot unflinchingly access the deepest, most personal, most shameful, darkest, smallest parts of You.
But God sees and Knows and does not turn away. I think that's why so many of us Christians fell in Love with him. You can't help it when you are faced with that kind of Love.
Like Nat, we must wonder - how can you love me so much? How can you, the Perfect God, pay me such a compliment that I too am Perfect? Jesus answers - Have faith and remain in me. I Know already what you were, what you are and what you shall be. I shall make you clean. I shall make you real. True. Perfect. Because I am real, true, perfect. You don't see clearly. I do. Trust how I see you and how I see things. And have the faith to live accordingly.
I think being a Christian gets much easier and much more beautiful when we grasp more and more of that truth. His Love is enough. Understand the full depth of that grace we have been extended and you can run through life with feet fleet as a deer. You will scale new heights. Not by your work. By His grace.
When we are deeply loved, joy and genuine living is simply a natural outcome. We love because we have been loved and known first.
We are a living work of art. Artists Know fully the perfect vision of their work in their heads. They understand the process of perfecting can be a painful, funny, messy, beautiful, terrible thing. If a process sketch looked at himself, he would see scribbles and scratches and a faint concept of perfection. It would be terribly difficult for a 2-Dimensional sketch to imagine what the 3-Dimensional Artist must be visualising. He may not understand that he is Fully Known already despite his scribbly state. But he does not need to understand at this moment...as long as he knows in part for now, and keeps faith, he will see that Perfection come one day. Just as the Artist has always Known.
No wonder Paul the Apostle writes so breathlessly in 1 Cor 13:12-13:
"Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known. And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love."
Indeed. We are already creatures that are fully Known. It is the fully Known version of our little selves that God sees and welcomes into his Heaven. Fully Known only through being fully loved. And Christians only know this because we too made the same simple faithful response Nat had so many years ago when faced with Jesus himself - "You are...the Son of God."
Just a response. Nothing more. Nothing less.
That's all it takes to understand the secret of the KIngdom of God.
Let's spend a moment to just bask in the tremendous-ness of that fact.
Thursday, January 12, 2006
2006 Resolutions...sort of
In no particular order.....
1. Get a new Powerbook once and for all. Yay!
2. Be a humbler listener and curb instinct to be a holyschmoly smartypants!
3. Actually use my PDA to organise the chaos I call my mind. Got plans? Execute, execute, execute! and use that PDA to help!
4. Spend more time with my family. House not equal as hotel you know.
5. Get back in gym rat mode. Last year of gym membership- diedie must chao kuan use to the fullest!
6. Clean up 1/4 of the chaos I call my room (1/4 is realistic estimation I think)
7. Adopt a hamster to channel all my lack-of-a-rabbit-affections to.
8. Share and admit to my weaknesses more often to curb instinct to play holyschmoly smartypants!
9. Stop drinking teh si like its the last drink on earth. Must...try....other....drinks.
10. Go on One Good Date. Mwa ha ha. Insert archi insider joke.
11. Love God. Love Neighbour. Feed Sheep.
1. Get a new Powerbook once and for all. Yay!
2. Be a humbler listener and curb instinct to be a holyschmoly smartypants!
3. Actually use my PDA to organise the chaos I call my mind. Got plans? Execute, execute, execute! and use that PDA to help!
4. Spend more time with my family. House not equal as hotel you know.
5. Get back in gym rat mode. Last year of gym membership- diedie must chao kuan use to the fullest!
6. Clean up 1/4 of the chaos I call my room (1/4 is realistic estimation I think)
7. Adopt a hamster to channel all my lack-of-a-rabbit-affections to.
8. Share and admit to my weaknesses more often to curb instinct to play holyschmoly smartypants!
9. Stop drinking teh si like its the last drink on earth. Must...try....other....drinks.
10. Go on One Good Date. Mwa ha ha. Insert archi insider joke.
11. Love God. Love Neighbour. Feed Sheep.
Wednesday, January 11, 2006
An afternoon with Samo
I have not been blogging because I have not been particularly inspired. It wasn't that life was boring or bad - the past two months actually have been pretty great. But nothing moved me enough to set aside time to blog. Musing about whether my blog had breathed its last, inspiration literally walk in through my door.
The lights in my office always do a major short circuit when the stormy season sets in. Old buildings and slack management may make for great rental rates but poor maintenance.
So I made an appointment with the in-house electrician to get my lights up and going again.
My management has a knack for hiring the funkiest looking electricians - the supervisor is a 40 something Phua Chu Kang clone, from fluffy Afro to long fingernail; his junior is also in his 40s, resembling a slightly skinnier Samo Hung complete with bowl-shaped haircut and teeny old man whiskers. They are truly old-school, honest-to-goodness blue collar to the bone types - their PDAs come in the form of mamak shop bought 30 cents spiral bound notebooks; their skin uncompromisingly tough and pockmarked; their accessories only come in towkay-gold.
PCK was away so Samo turned up, all apologetic for missing several appointments he had made earlier on with me. I left him to fiddle with the electrical wiring while I went into the next room to tidy up files. Feeling whimsical, I played an old Hillsongs CD and wondered what God had in store to show me for the year ahead. 2005 was full of encouraging random encounters and I asked Him in my head when would be my next. Turns out it was going to be in a couple of minutes and iut was gonna be good ole Samo himself.
Samo walked in and mused, "Eh, miss, you Catholic ah?"
"No, I am Christian. Why? You are, ah?"
"Eh Miss, you tell me, don't mind me asking, why my uncle can become so powerful?"
"Emm...did your uncle become a Christian?"
"Ya ya. Aiyohhh he was very naughty,miss, last time, so naughty that he went to jail you know? Smoke, gamble, drink. Very naughty ah! But then he ah...go church. Then now, very good already! I cannot believe. How come he got power ah?" He looked at me earnestly.
At this point, I could not stop smiling at him. He really looked very perplexed.
"Emmm....it's not magic power like bomoh or taoist priest that kind. Different power. Your uncle became Christian. He knew he had no more power to change himself so he let God change him. You know what we always want to do good but diedie also end up doing some bad thing. Can be very frustrating and feel very sad. We have no power."
"Ah miss, I am not Christian. Then I try to run away from my uncle because he always bother me to go church go church. So I go to give him face then he stand on stage and talk you know? I don't believe he so naughty last time, can stand up there so neat, wear tie, comb hair, like good like that! Wah I really cannot believe."
"Heh."
"Some more, miss, I tell you, I never tell anyone before....er am I wasting your time ah miss?"
"No, no , it's ok."
"Goodgood....you know when I went to the church ah, I dunno why you know! I don't understand what they are saying, what plihplahplihplah but you know miss, I CRY you know? Dunno why also! I dunno why I cry! And when I ask my uncle he also say he dunno why. But he say he believe I will become Christian one day. But you Christian too right? Maybe you can tell me why it happen?"
I could not believe my ears. That was exactly my conversion experience. Dragged to church by a friend, God pierced through all my unbelief and ignorance with a bout of inexplicable tears from nowhere as well.
"That happened to me too." It was such a cool moment, to meet another person whom God reached out to in the same way.
Just then, his handphone went off - a crazy caophony. It was another tenant bugging him about another appointment.
"Oh sorry miss, sorry I must go fix another light. Eh you don't mind, I talk to you about this Christian thing another day ok? Sorry I waste your time ah."
I told him anytime was good for me. And he had definitely not wasted my time.
_______________________________________________________________________
Postscript - For some strange reason God keeps sending people who are far more proficient in dialects and chinese down my path. Maybe he is telling me its about time to reclaim my mother tongue. ha!
The lights in my office always do a major short circuit when the stormy season sets in. Old buildings and slack management may make for great rental rates but poor maintenance.
So I made an appointment with the in-house electrician to get my lights up and going again.
My management has a knack for hiring the funkiest looking electricians - the supervisor is a 40 something Phua Chu Kang clone, from fluffy Afro to long fingernail; his junior is also in his 40s, resembling a slightly skinnier Samo Hung complete with bowl-shaped haircut and teeny old man whiskers. They are truly old-school, honest-to-goodness blue collar to the bone types - their PDAs come in the form of mamak shop bought 30 cents spiral bound notebooks; their skin uncompromisingly tough and pockmarked; their accessories only come in towkay-gold.
PCK was away so Samo turned up, all apologetic for missing several appointments he had made earlier on with me. I left him to fiddle with the electrical wiring while I went into the next room to tidy up files. Feeling whimsical, I played an old Hillsongs CD and wondered what God had in store to show me for the year ahead. 2005 was full of encouraging random encounters and I asked Him in my head when would be my next. Turns out it was going to be in a couple of minutes and iut was gonna be good ole Samo himself.
Samo walked in and mused, "Eh, miss, you Catholic ah?"
"No, I am Christian. Why? You are, ah?"
"Eh Miss, you tell me, don't mind me asking, why my uncle can become so powerful?"
"Emm...did your uncle become a Christian?"
"Ya ya. Aiyohhh he was very naughty,miss, last time, so naughty that he went to jail you know? Smoke, gamble, drink. Very naughty ah! But then he ah...go church. Then now, very good already! I cannot believe. How come he got power ah?" He looked at me earnestly.
At this point, I could not stop smiling at him. He really looked very perplexed.
"Emmm....it's not magic power like bomoh or taoist priest that kind. Different power. Your uncle became Christian. He knew he had no more power to change himself so he let God change him. You know what we always want to do good but diedie also end up doing some bad thing. Can be very frustrating and feel very sad. We have no power."
"Ah miss, I am not Christian. Then I try to run away from my uncle because he always bother me to go church go church. So I go to give him face then he stand on stage and talk you know? I don't believe he so naughty last time, can stand up there so neat, wear tie, comb hair, like good like that! Wah I really cannot believe."
"Heh."
"Some more, miss, I tell you, I never tell anyone before....er am I wasting your time ah miss?"
"No, no , it's ok."
"Goodgood....you know when I went to the church ah, I dunno why you know! I don't understand what they are saying, what plihplahplihplah but you know miss, I CRY you know? Dunno why also! I dunno why I cry! And when I ask my uncle he also say he dunno why. But he say he believe I will become Christian one day. But you Christian too right? Maybe you can tell me why it happen?"
I could not believe my ears. That was exactly my conversion experience. Dragged to church by a friend, God pierced through all my unbelief and ignorance with a bout of inexplicable tears from nowhere as well.
"That happened to me too." It was such a cool moment, to meet another person whom God reached out to in the same way.
Just then, his handphone went off - a crazy caophony. It was another tenant bugging him about another appointment.
"Oh sorry miss, sorry I must go fix another light. Eh you don't mind, I talk to you about this Christian thing another day ok? Sorry I waste your time ah."
I told him anytime was good for me. And he had definitely not wasted my time.
_______________________________________________________________________
Postscript - For some strange reason God keeps sending people who are far more proficient in dialects and chinese down my path. Maybe he is telling me its about time to reclaim my mother tongue. ha!
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