Monday, September 11, 2006

In the Eye of the Beholder



I just read this funny bit of info:

"Some researchers also found that men judge the female figure they found most attractive as heavier than women's ratings of the ideal body shape. In contrast, most women, including overweight women, desire men with a very low percentage of body fat, whether they be thin or muscular. This suggests that, contrary to the media focus, men are far more likely to be attracted to larger women than women are to be attracted to larger men. Additionally, men are also more likely to be unsatisfied with their height, due to a perceived preference in women for men above average height.

Men, on the other hand, don't tend to factor height in when choosing a mate; they're attracted to short, tall, and everything in between. According to a study "Gender Differences in Body Dysmorphic Disorder" by Katharine A. Phillips and S. Diaz (1997), the most common body areas that cause the most distress among men with body image disorders include skin (58%), head hair (57%), nose (38%), body build (25%), eyes (18%), genitals (15%), legs (14%), chest (12%), and stomach/abs (11%)."

Seriously....'skin'? I didn't know guys freaked out that much about their skin or nose for that matter.Wonder how true that is in Asian context.

Isn't it so odd that the sexes are seriously miscommunicating about what each other finds attractive? I would not really care if a guy had bad skin, was balding or had a big ol' nose or no rippling six-pack. I really don't give a darn if he drives a sexy lil' Porsche or cycles to work, plays high money stocks or plays Counterstrike. And if one more guy rolls his eyes and tells me "Oh you don't understand. Girls say that but they actually want it.", I will smack him. I mean it. But then again, I suppose that's why some guys get offended when a girl insists that guys just like girls for looks.

The only thing that counts for me is : If a guy has no heart or no head for anything outside of himself, he's a goner.
So is it that hard to believe that there are guys out there who do think the same way? That they can separate between fantasy figures and who they want in real life? If I can totally luuuuuuuuurve Hugh Jackman and Pierce Brosnan (supersigh) on screen and yet very objectively know that they are not the kind of guys I want in real-life, I am sure there are guys who think the same.

But what is funny - of course - is how many guys refuse to believe that there are quite a few girls who don't care about their bods, wallets or jobs. It is similar to how many of us girls find it hard to believe that there are quite a few decent guys who think countercultural.

That's awful ain't it? I admit sometimes I like to believe guys are really as shallow as FHM makes them out to be. But that makes me a FSP - Female Sexist Pig. And FSP is just as condescending and awful as an MCP.

I asked NCM up front about whether looks mattered to guys as much as conventional wisdom would have us believe.
NCM thought for a while and said, "Yeah, its a fact...guys will always look at a gorgeous girl. But after a while, most guys grow up and look beyond looks. Wisdom becomes really attractive. It matters more."

Well, maybe NCM was humouring me.

Or maybe it was a genuine reflection of what goes on in guys' heads once they have tasted the 30s and dated around a bit.

Well, I guess me, my chubchub bod and my eye-baggage shall take comfort in knowing that if there is one guy who thinks like NCM, there must be more of them out there.

Yeah, yeah go on and sue me for being a Pollyanna.

3 comments:

The Rust said...

I admit I'm attracted by looks, but it doesn't last. Like if a girl's gorgeous but dumb,she gets 5 seconds of my attention compared to average girl with humour and a pair of WWE tickets.

And I admit, I think cars and wallets do make a difference (do I get a smack...?) or whatever the girl thinks equals to power... be it skin colour, money or the number of frags in his average counterstike game.

Probato said...

Agree... read Proverbs 11:22

I appreciate smart and considerate girls instead.

P.S. I read D&D dragon lance series too. I was a DM before.

neonangel said...

rust:
lol....well, tell me when you manage to find that chick with the WWE tickets. Will qia you dinner cos that would be a heckuva find. :D

and well yeah, as much as it sucks....
...cars and wallets, skin colour, money and frags do make a difference to some. :(

...but not all! :)

probato:
HA! FELLOW DND NERD! But I win - I still play it. And I play the online version as well. sigh. I bleed nerd. Loved Dragonlance - it still sets the benchmark for me. Though George RR Martin has come close to trumping it.