Ha! It's about time somebody called Bush out publically on his disgustingly EXPENSIVE, 10 PARTY celebration of his inauguration! Watch this widely circulated clip of how A Fox News anchor flips out when a guest dares to question the nature of Bush's elaborate 2nd inauguration.
The Fox news anchor totally went ballistic when her guest commentator, an editor at Vanity Fair, ended up stating her disgust at the excesses. She must have been expecting Vanity Fair woman to stick to commenting on how pretty Laura Bush looked in her Oscar de la Renta gown, or how sweet the inauguration dance was between the Bushes. Bleaaaaaaaah.
Does the man have no sense of propriety or simple Christian decency? $40 million bucks on self-congratulatory excess in a time where Asia is recovering from the tsunamis and America's own troops are badly floundering from lack of proper equipment? Forgoing the $40million party for a simpler affair would have been a grand, dignified and very Christian gesture to make. How about a $10 million party and $30 million donation to his own country's poor and unemployed for starters? Or funding the welfare of his beleagured troops...
Ugh. Why oh why must the most high profile Christian leader in the world today be a complete muck-up? Grrrr.
For added reading pleasure,
article 1:Americans rant their opinions about how the Fox interview was handled
article 2: One American soldier's story sheds light on the Iraq quagmire:
"People are always coming up and thanking me for my service," he says. "It makes me angry. We're not doing anything over there except sitting around waiting to get shot."
Thursday, January 27, 2005
Wednesday, January 26, 2005
listmania
in pure facetiousness..........
things i am currently fooling around with:
1) naruto the anime
my naruto craze knows no bounds. Am now trying to get it out of my system by sheer reading through the entire series currently available. Am up to book 16 out of 25....geez this is like George RR Martin all over again. must stop....must! shall pretend that i am doing research...its all about staying in touch with what the kids are reading you know....bluffbluff.
2) dnd campaign: Back to Strathgard!
yeah, the campaign is back in action after one and a half years of hiatus! have created a halfling ninja cleric who suspiciously borrows his background and characterisation from Naruto....eh, all that anime reading has to be of use somewhere... er, you know, apart from "staying in touch with what the kids are reading"...
things i am looking forward to:
1) events: church camp in June! michael raiter sermons in Easter!
2) movies: Goblet of Fire movie in Dec! WETA's take on the Chronicles of Narnia!
3) Books: Ultimates 2 Trade Paperback! Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince in July! A Feast for Crows
things i currently covet:
1) a new Macintosh - both the G5 desktop and a new Powerbook would be nice
2) all the graphic novels at Kinokuniya. sigh. lust. whine.
things i ought to be doing more of:
1) reading/ studying the Bible. How dare I put Kakashi and Iruka above Jesus eh. So naughty. Bad christian. Very bad.
2) preparing proposal to MOE and filing SOT stuff. Bad educator / entrepreneur. Very bad.
summation: Sin 10 Xiao 0
phooey. thank goodness got God's grace. otherwise WAN DAN LIAO.
things i am currently fooling around with:
1) naruto the anime
my naruto craze knows no bounds. Am now trying to get it out of my system by sheer reading through the entire series currently available. Am up to book 16 out of 25....geez this is like George RR Martin all over again. must stop....must! shall pretend that i am doing research...its all about staying in touch with what the kids are reading you know....bluffbluff.
2) dnd campaign: Back to Strathgard!
yeah, the campaign is back in action after one and a half years of hiatus! have created a halfling ninja cleric who suspiciously borrows his background and characterisation from Naruto....eh, all that anime reading has to be of use somewhere... er, you know, apart from "staying in touch with what the kids are reading"...
things i am looking forward to:
1) events: church camp in June! michael raiter sermons in Easter!
2) movies: Goblet of Fire movie in Dec! WETA's take on the Chronicles of Narnia!
3) Books: Ultimates 2 Trade Paperback! Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince in July! A Feast for Crows
things i currently covet:
1) a new Macintosh - both the G5 desktop and a new Powerbook would be nice
2) all the graphic novels at Kinokuniya. sigh. lust. whine.
things i ought to be doing more of:
1) reading/ studying the Bible. How dare I put Kakashi and Iruka above Jesus eh. So naughty. Bad christian. Very bad.
2) preparing proposal to MOE and filing SOT stuff. Bad educator / entrepreneur. Very bad.
summation: Sin 10 Xiao 0
phooey. thank goodness got God's grace. otherwise WAN DAN LIAO.
God and Disease : Earth vs. Neverland
was reading Shadow's latest blog account about discouraging sermons she heard in the past few days. It all does sound out of whack...kinda reminds you of how precious the Truth is and how wasy it is to distort it to suit our own little whims and fancies. Along the same lines, while researching for bible study on "God's Answer to Disease" this week, I ended up reading this interesting article about "Should Christians Pray Thy WIll be Done?"
I find it disturbing that there are actually people out there who call themselves Christians and blatantly preach things that go against the very word of God. It's not that I did not know the fact that there were people out there like that....but to actually read or hear it for yourself, it's just saddening stuff. All those lies, unassuming little half-truths do so much damage. It's like giving a man flawed brick and mortar and telling him to build a house to live in. How will that house hold during calamity? What's the point of giving him more of the same weak stuff and telling him to rebuild his life? It's so pointless.
One thing that really struck me while conducting the study was the bit about Jesus asking the Pharisees in Mark 2:9 ,' Which is easier: to say to the paralytic, ‘Your sins are forgiven,’ or to say, ‘Get up, take your mat and walk’?
I found myself wondering which is easier for me to say to a person in need - that Jesus forgives sin or that Jesus will heal you? Both promises are in a way true. Only the former I definitely know for sure - Jesus saves for He forgives our sin. The latter comes with caveats - God can heal, but many a time He chooses not to. His plans and purposes are simply beyond our understanding.
It's definitely easier for me to say and preach the latter of course. Better for propriety, seems nicer, seems more polite, more PC, seems kinder.Or is it? How should we Christians tend to the sick? Surely not like Job's unfortunate friends who chose to pontificate, judge and have theological debates while Job lay crushed with suffering? But surely not all Hallmark and Care-Bear empty promises of sunshine and rainbows?
I recently watched Finding Neverland---which I really loved for the sensitive performances and charming story-telling. Go watch it, it's great tear-jerking stuff. The saddest parts of the movie was in each character's confrontation with the truth of death and disease. However, much as I loved the show, I thought the far deeper tragedy was in the cop-out upholding of Neverland (the ultimate expression of human imagination) as the answer for Death. It seemed sad that that's all we are left with once we take out God and His promises of a new Heaven and Earth when all order shall be restored. But what kind of answer is that? That we cope with Death by knowing our loved ones live on in our imaginations and our dreams? It all sounds poetically pretty and plausible in celluloid fantasy but it falls apart in the harsh light of reality. My loved ones will fade from my imagination. Does that mean a second kind of death? And how does Neverland deal with the horrible, mundane everyday suffering of the sick?
I love fantasies. I love stories. I love the wild way in which the human imagination can sweep me into an alternate reality better than this present one. But making fantasy more than what it should be is just misguided and deceptive.
How shall we comfort our loved ones in the face of death and disease? How shall we comfort ourselves?
I keep coming back again and again to the truths of the 2 greatest commandments on which hang all the Laws and the Prophets. The answer to all my queries seem to lie in there and they still do, time after time, through every "what shall i do Lord?"
Love your God with all your heart, all your mind and all your strength. Love Thy Neighbour as yourself.
As always, the answer lies in a delicate balance of Truth and Love --- honouring the integrity of God and His Word yet demonstrating it through patience, kindness, gentleness with our fellow man. Truth and Love were always meant to come hand in hand. Both temper each other, and hold each other in check. Love cannot endure without the eternal anchor of Truth. Truth can become hard, cold and blind
without Love to humanise it and bring it down to earth.
I guess we should never be too quick to offer a pat answer to suffering in any form or distant ourself too much from feeling the pain. Truth and Love. 2 simple words with so many implications on our behaviour! Courage to empathise wholeheartedly while never compromising on facing the hardest facts.
There is Death. There is disease. There is no Neverland, not the kind that we can pin our hopes on at least.
But There is a God. There is His promise of a new Heaven and a new Earth where all tears will be dried and never again will there be pain or suffering for all eternity. There is a way to get there: through Christ's offer to forgive us our sins and redeem us from a world we were never meant to live in.
I find it disturbing that there are actually people out there who call themselves Christians and blatantly preach things that go against the very word of God. It's not that I did not know the fact that there were people out there like that....but to actually read or hear it for yourself, it's just saddening stuff. All those lies, unassuming little half-truths do so much damage. It's like giving a man flawed brick and mortar and telling him to build a house to live in. How will that house hold during calamity? What's the point of giving him more of the same weak stuff and telling him to rebuild his life? It's so pointless.
One thing that really struck me while conducting the study was the bit about Jesus asking the Pharisees in Mark 2:9 ,' Which is easier: to say to the paralytic, ‘Your sins are forgiven,’ or to say, ‘Get up, take your mat and walk’?
I found myself wondering which is easier for me to say to a person in need - that Jesus forgives sin or that Jesus will heal you? Both promises are in a way true. Only the former I definitely know for sure - Jesus saves for He forgives our sin. The latter comes with caveats - God can heal, but many a time He chooses not to. His plans and purposes are simply beyond our understanding.
It's definitely easier for me to say and preach the latter of course. Better for propriety, seems nicer, seems more polite, more PC, seems kinder.Or is it? How should we Christians tend to the sick? Surely not like Job's unfortunate friends who chose to pontificate, judge and have theological debates while Job lay crushed with suffering? But surely not all Hallmark and Care-Bear empty promises of sunshine and rainbows?
I recently watched Finding Neverland---which I really loved for the sensitive performances and charming story-telling. Go watch it, it's great tear-jerking stuff. The saddest parts of the movie was in each character's confrontation with the truth of death and disease. However, much as I loved the show, I thought the far deeper tragedy was in the cop-out upholding of Neverland (the ultimate expression of human imagination) as the answer for Death. It seemed sad that that's all we are left with once we take out God and His promises of a new Heaven and Earth when all order shall be restored. But what kind of answer is that? That we cope with Death by knowing our loved ones live on in our imaginations and our dreams? It all sounds poetically pretty and plausible in celluloid fantasy but it falls apart in the harsh light of reality. My loved ones will fade from my imagination. Does that mean a second kind of death? And how does Neverland deal with the horrible, mundane everyday suffering of the sick?
I love fantasies. I love stories. I love the wild way in which the human imagination can sweep me into an alternate reality better than this present one. But making fantasy more than what it should be is just misguided and deceptive.
How shall we comfort our loved ones in the face of death and disease? How shall we comfort ourselves?
I keep coming back again and again to the truths of the 2 greatest commandments on which hang all the Laws and the Prophets. The answer to all my queries seem to lie in there and they still do, time after time, through every "what shall i do Lord?"
Love your God with all your heart, all your mind and all your strength. Love Thy Neighbour as yourself.
As always, the answer lies in a delicate balance of Truth and Love --- honouring the integrity of God and His Word yet demonstrating it through patience, kindness, gentleness with our fellow man. Truth and Love were always meant to come hand in hand. Both temper each other, and hold each other in check. Love cannot endure without the eternal anchor of Truth. Truth can become hard, cold and blind
without Love to humanise it and bring it down to earth.
I guess we should never be too quick to offer a pat answer to suffering in any form or distant ourself too much from feeling the pain. Truth and Love. 2 simple words with so many implications on our behaviour! Courage to empathise wholeheartedly while never compromising on facing the hardest facts.
There is Death. There is disease. There is no Neverland, not the kind that we can pin our hopes on at least.
But There is a God. There is His promise of a new Heaven and a new Earth where all tears will be dried and never again will there be pain or suffering for all eternity. There is a way to get there: through Christ's offer to forgive us our sins and redeem us from a world we were never meant to live in.
Thursday, January 20, 2005
confessions of a naruto floozy
i have found a new obsession and it is Naruto. I blame my kids entirely and MomaMonty for lending me the DVDs. Have been making daily trips to Kino to buy new editions of the comicbook.
Signs of hook-dom:
#1 Am reading it while walking on the streets, looking like a total nerd. So far have not hit any lamp-posts or missed any buses.
#2 Am reading it in Chinese and loving it. Despite my brilliant C6 at A levels. Now I know the cheem chinese translations of ninjutsu and chakra. whoowhoo!
#3 Have started to become an unabashed fangirl, debating with MomaMonty about the brilliant plotlines, strange subtext and cool characters.
Speaking of which....am gonna totally expose my floozy fantasy fan-girl roots and theorise on the pattern of fantasy characters I find...er... yummy.
sigh. so losing credibility here.
'Cos I am so floozily crushing on the 2 characters above, was studying the pic and thinking of the male archetypes in fantasy sneakily designed to appeal to the female audience:
Exhibit #1: Kakashi the MIrror NInja
(guy with funky white hair and mask)
He typifies the Cool Dude archetype: edgy, slick, laid-back, mysterious, independent, individual sense of humour, very sharp fashion sense, possible womaniser or may not care
about women. Usually angular featured or drawn with sharp lines.
Will have scenes of brilliant, absolute fantastic fighting moves, designed to show off how bad-assingly cool he is. His appeal is obvious: He is kind of like a repackaged, metrosexualised Bad Boy
other examples:
Legolas, Captain Jack Sparrow, Raistlin Majeure, Wolverine, Han Solo, Indiana Jones
Exhibit #2: Iruka
(the sweet looking one)
He is the Nice Boy Next Door: warm, giving, less angular features, sweet smiling, more staid dressing style Usually drawn with softer lines, slightly curved strokes.
Will have scenes where he will suffer, cry, bleed, die or make assorted big sacrifices to melt hearts of a million floozies.
Other examples: Aragorn, Faramir, Tanis Half-Elven, Luke Skywalker
At this moment, my allegiance is with Iruka although given how much cooler Kakashi's powers are. He is a higher level ninja after all...wa lau....tough choice, man. : ) For the record, I have fan-girl crushed on Aragorn, Han Solo, Indy Jones. So am not sure where my floozy allegiances lie.
Okay. Enough bimbo-ing around over 2D men. Back to writing cheem political stuff. Ahem.
Signs of hook-dom:
#1 Am reading it while walking on the streets, looking like a total nerd. So far have not hit any lamp-posts or missed any buses.
#2 Am reading it in Chinese and loving it. Despite my brilliant C6 at A levels. Now I know the cheem chinese translations of ninjutsu and chakra. whoowhoo!
#3 Have started to become an unabashed fangirl, debating with MomaMonty about the brilliant plotlines, strange subtext and cool characters.
Speaking of which....am gonna totally expose my floozy fantasy fan-girl roots and theorise on the pattern of fantasy characters I find...er... yummy.
sigh. so losing credibility here.
'Cos I am so floozily crushing on the 2 characters above, was studying the pic and thinking of the male archetypes in fantasy sneakily designed to appeal to the female audience:
Exhibit #1: Kakashi the MIrror NInja
(guy with funky white hair and mask)
He typifies the Cool Dude archetype: edgy, slick, laid-back, mysterious, independent, individual sense of humour, very sharp fashion sense, possible womaniser or may not care
about women. Usually angular featured or drawn with sharp lines.
Will have scenes of brilliant, absolute fantastic fighting moves, designed to show off how bad-assingly cool he is. His appeal is obvious: He is kind of like a repackaged, metrosexualised Bad Boy
other examples:
Legolas, Captain Jack Sparrow, Raistlin Majeure, Wolverine, Han Solo, Indiana Jones
Exhibit #2: Iruka
(the sweet looking one)
He is the Nice Boy Next Door: warm, giving, less angular features, sweet smiling, more staid dressing style Usually drawn with softer lines, slightly curved strokes.
Will have scenes where he will suffer, cry, bleed, die or make assorted big sacrifices to melt hearts of a million floozies.
Other examples: Aragorn, Faramir, Tanis Half-Elven, Luke Skywalker
At this moment, my allegiance is with Iruka although given how much cooler Kakashi's powers are. He is a higher level ninja after all...wa lau....tough choice, man. : ) For the record, I have fan-girl crushed on Aragorn, Han Solo, Indy Jones. So am not sure where my floozy allegiances lie.
Okay. Enough bimbo-ing around over 2D men. Back to writing cheem political stuff. Ahem.
Wednesday, January 19, 2005
trashed!
have been trying to do my best to play the game TuxedoDiplomat designed. I did the character designs and had quite a fun time researching appropriate looks for the 3 heroes, the flirt who dates all of them and the big baddies. I suck at the game...could not get past the Sage. So useless! Click this link to rescue the girl and execute some CHOPSCHLOCKY GOODNESS! HIAH KIAH! and win some cellphone goodies. heh
And speaking of games that i suck at: I just got royally trashed at pool by the combined duo of FunkyMonkey and ChromeDome aka Wongapolopolous. Wah lau. At the highest point of suck-dom, I totally was just pushing around six balls on the table while the FunkMunk was down to the black ball already. Enter ChromoDomo to save the day - he took over and promptly reduced it to just 2 balls in like one turn.
oooooh. and he said he was bad at pool. Bah Humbug. Let it now be known that ChromeDome is a golfnut by day and a pool hall hustler by night. Disbelieve his pithy attempts at humility! :)
I should just stick to sports I am good at: like ....um.....Advanced Stray Cat Ka-Cheowing. Yeah. That should be an Olympic sport. I would so ace it.
And speaking of games that i suck at: I just got royally trashed at pool by the combined duo of FunkyMonkey and ChromeDome aka Wongapolopolous. Wah lau. At the highest point of suck-dom, I totally was just pushing around six balls on the table while the FunkMunk was down to the black ball already. Enter ChromoDomo to save the day - he took over and promptly reduced it to just 2 balls in like one turn.
oooooh. and he said he was bad at pool. Bah Humbug. Let it now be known that ChromeDome is a golfnut by day and a pool hall hustler by night. Disbelieve his pithy attempts at humility! :)
I should just stick to sports I am good at: like ....um.....Advanced Stray Cat Ka-Cheowing. Yeah. That should be an Olympic sport. I would so ace it.
Saturday, January 15, 2005
ramblings on joy: youthful energy and adult tiredness
weekend of interesting hanging out with different age-groups:
spent friday night mingling with the PUNJabis, together with FlunkyMonkey and MojoJojo in a house party / prayer meet, courtesy of the irrepressible Ell'Boy. FlunkyMonkey and me were the informal representatives of the "adult" ministries, all wrinkly and crutch wielding next to the young guns. :)
Sat night was dinner at Elder A's place where I discovered I have the pop cultural tastes of a Pri 6 boy. Was totally having an animated discussion with Elder A's 12 year old kid analysing why NeverwinterNights kicks any fantasy game's ass, the merits of playing a cleric in DND, why Legolas should never have outdrunk Gimli etc. Boy solemnly declared," you really know what kids like." ( Which i guess is high praise in context. ha! ) Was up really late with jamming friends and discovered that ABBA's disco hits could actually translate well into acoustic folk. yah. hard to believe eh. quite inspired combo.
sunday was a whole day affair at church and hanging out with the cell at coldbar and 6th avenue, discussing all things silly. Watched Singapore trash Indonesia in the TIger Cup and watched NARUTO anime (SO HOOKED!) until I peng-saned, thinking abour who was cuter - Iruka-sensei or Kakashi-sensei. yes i know. i am 28 this year. and yes, i still get cartoon 'crushes'.
_______________________________________________________________
Anyhoo....some thoughts:
it struck me that so many of the PUNJabis were at crossroads or turning points in their lives whether it was first year in junior college, first time telling parents you wanna pursue alternative careers, first time going overseas to study. It was really interesting hearing what they were talking about and comparing it to what the people in adult cells talk about. There is generally more tiredness in adult cells - both physical and emotional. Adult cells feel more heavy-going.
I love the deep-level, intensity and weightiness of discussion in adult cells but man, it is kind of nice to kick back and talk about young stuff again this weekend without getting comments like "wow, you still do that? i gave that up a long time ago." I have the hobbies of a 12 year old boy, i say again. :)
It was actually really heartwarming to see young christians trying to keep godly: 'Ellboy initiated a pretty cool prayer idea after dinner where people walked around and prayed over different people in the room.
somewhere along the line, jadedness and tiredness has crept into many an adult christian I know. They may not have lost faith or desire to be in church but they have lost hold of some of that youthful hope and simple joy.
is it because the older people get, the more suffering they encounter?
do the young have a certain joy and naivete that the old can never recapture?
but there are older christians I have met who still live with great joy. and in many ways, their adult-bourne joy feels even more beautiful and encouraging because there is something profound in it.
We cannot reverse the clock to a time when life was simpler and carefree.
Whatever that has happened in our lives has happened. The mistakes that we make, the painful realisations we have come to mark us as surely as any physical scar.
Joy in adulthood thus takes on a deeper, richer dimension because it is not simple, it is not bourne out of naivete. The joy that Christ talks about is one that has grown rich from a profound encounter with the Truth - that there is death, suffering, and pain; that you are profoundly sinful; that strangers and loved ones are profoundly sinful too...
All things good take on a richer hue in contrast. Those who have gone through the trenches begin to understand what is good and to be treasured with greater clarity. The mercy of God, His justice, the grace of Christ, the work of the Spirit, forgiveness, Love, acceptance, the pleasure of a perfect sky, the embrace of a true friend, the kindness of sincere words, patience...
Christianity cannot be about Happy, Shiny People who have never known a bad thought or deed all their lives. Its about scratched up, battered, bruised, dusty ones who persevere and smile because they have known a life well-lived.
Feeling joyful is a challenge in the face of everyday challenges. Can we rejoice when we have nothing but the grace of God?
Apparently so....i can only hope that i will feel joy more and more profoundly in the years and challenges to come.
Christ has put a hope in my heart that I and this world will be more than I ever dreamt....may that always put a smile on my face.
spent friday night mingling with the PUNJabis, together with FlunkyMonkey and MojoJojo in a house party / prayer meet, courtesy of the irrepressible Ell'Boy. FlunkyMonkey and me were the informal representatives of the "adult" ministries, all wrinkly and crutch wielding next to the young guns. :)
Sat night was dinner at Elder A's place where I discovered I have the pop cultural tastes of a Pri 6 boy. Was totally having an animated discussion with Elder A's 12 year old kid analysing why NeverwinterNights kicks any fantasy game's ass, the merits of playing a cleric in DND, why Legolas should never have outdrunk Gimli etc. Boy solemnly declared," you really know what kids like." ( Which i guess is high praise in context. ha! ) Was up really late with jamming friends and discovered that ABBA's disco hits could actually translate well into acoustic folk. yah. hard to believe eh. quite inspired combo.
sunday was a whole day affair at church and hanging out with the cell at coldbar and 6th avenue, discussing all things silly. Watched Singapore trash Indonesia in the TIger Cup and watched NARUTO anime (SO HOOKED!) until I peng-saned, thinking abour who was cuter - Iruka-sensei or Kakashi-sensei. yes i know. i am 28 this year. and yes, i still get cartoon 'crushes'.
_______________________________________________________________
Anyhoo....some thoughts:
it struck me that so many of the PUNJabis were at crossroads or turning points in their lives whether it was first year in junior college, first time telling parents you wanna pursue alternative careers, first time going overseas to study. It was really interesting hearing what they were talking about and comparing it to what the people in adult cells talk about. There is generally more tiredness in adult cells - both physical and emotional. Adult cells feel more heavy-going.
I love the deep-level, intensity and weightiness of discussion in adult cells but man, it is kind of nice to kick back and talk about young stuff again this weekend without getting comments like "wow, you still do that? i gave that up a long time ago." I have the hobbies of a 12 year old boy, i say again. :)
It was actually really heartwarming to see young christians trying to keep godly: 'Ellboy initiated a pretty cool prayer idea after dinner where people walked around and prayed over different people in the room.
somewhere along the line, jadedness and tiredness has crept into many an adult christian I know. They may not have lost faith or desire to be in church but they have lost hold of some of that youthful hope and simple joy.
is it because the older people get, the more suffering they encounter?
do the young have a certain joy and naivete that the old can never recapture?
but there are older christians I have met who still live with great joy. and in many ways, their adult-bourne joy feels even more beautiful and encouraging because there is something profound in it.
We cannot reverse the clock to a time when life was simpler and carefree.
Whatever that has happened in our lives has happened. The mistakes that we make, the painful realisations we have come to mark us as surely as any physical scar.
Joy in adulthood thus takes on a deeper, richer dimension because it is not simple, it is not bourne out of naivete. The joy that Christ talks about is one that has grown rich from a profound encounter with the Truth - that there is death, suffering, and pain; that you are profoundly sinful; that strangers and loved ones are profoundly sinful too...
All things good take on a richer hue in contrast. Those who have gone through the trenches begin to understand what is good and to be treasured with greater clarity. The mercy of God, His justice, the grace of Christ, the work of the Spirit, forgiveness, Love, acceptance, the pleasure of a perfect sky, the embrace of a true friend, the kindness of sincere words, patience...
Christianity cannot be about Happy, Shiny People who have never known a bad thought or deed all their lives. Its about scratched up, battered, bruised, dusty ones who persevere and smile because they have known a life well-lived.
Feeling joyful is a challenge in the face of everyday challenges. Can we rejoice when we have nothing but the grace of God?
Apparently so....i can only hope that i will feel joy more and more profoundly in the years and challenges to come.
Christ has put a hope in my heart that I and this world will be more than I ever dreamt....may that always put a smile on my face.
Friday, January 14, 2005
paper cup
more rummaging in the hard-drive nuggets. this is an odd find.
i do not write poetry at all. but this one was a really strange bit of automatic writing from 2000.
i remember writing this because i could not get rid of a series of random images in my head. sometimes i get odd dreams of strange images and i have to remember them some how in black or white so I don't forget the images. The whole reason why i keep using the name "neonangel" is because once i had a dream which ended with a bizarre crackling neon sign, shaped like an angel, set against a dark Dick Tracy like city street. i never remembered what the dream was about but the image and the crackling. broken down neon light sound stays fresh in my head.
anyhow...To date, 'paper cup' is the only poem/pseudo poem i have ever written. Huh. strange.
Some day i have to ask God why I get bizarro dreams like that. Must be all the junk i read....i read everything within arm's radius....so yeah, i have been exposed to some pretty odd ball stuff. :)
- Paper Cup -
the nurse hands me a paper cup,
a pale white cone.
my fingers bruise its fragile skin.
i spill tepid water on tired linoleum.
as i remember
the first time our hands touched
you handed me a paper cup
its cheap daisy print
the first flowers that passed between us.
And your smile,
spreading warm and generous
as maple syrup on those pancakes you loved.
Pancakes.
Paper cups.
I have lost you forever.
and I can only now think
of foolish things.
i do not write poetry at all. but this one was a really strange bit of automatic writing from 2000.
i remember writing this because i could not get rid of a series of random images in my head. sometimes i get odd dreams of strange images and i have to remember them some how in black or white so I don't forget the images. The whole reason why i keep using the name "neonangel" is because once i had a dream which ended with a bizarre crackling neon sign, shaped like an angel, set against a dark Dick Tracy like city street. i never remembered what the dream was about but the image and the crackling. broken down neon light sound stays fresh in my head.
anyhow...To date, 'paper cup' is the only poem/pseudo poem i have ever written. Huh. strange.
Some day i have to ask God why I get bizarro dreams like that. Must be all the junk i read....i read everything within arm's radius....so yeah, i have been exposed to some pretty odd ball stuff. :)
- Paper Cup -
the nurse hands me a paper cup,
a pale white cone.
my fingers bruise its fragile skin.
i spill tepid water on tired linoleum.
as i remember
the first time our hands touched
you handed me a paper cup
its cheap daisy print
the first flowers that passed between us.
And your smile,
spreading warm and generous
as maple syrup on those pancakes you loved.
Pancakes.
Paper cups.
I have lost you forever.
and I can only now think
of foolish things.
fear me, little kitties of the street:
this pic was taken en route to checking out CountBassie's gig at The Arts House.
SO THAT'S how chor lor I look when talking to animals on the street, wah lau. sia suay or what. i can't believe I am stooping like a cat to talk to it.
decided to have mindless photoshop fun before i knock off for the night.
and yes, very very sad to say, i really do engage in such frightful brainless monologue-ing when faced with the cute furry pawed section of creation.
fear me, little kitties of the street:
meet thy crazed #1 fan.
SO THAT'S how chor lor I look when talking to animals on the street, wah lau. sia suay or what. i can't believe I am stooping like a cat to talk to it.
decided to have mindless photoshop fun before i knock off for the night.
and yes, very very sad to say, i really do engage in such frightful brainless monologue-ing when faced with the cute furry pawed section of creation.
fear me, little kitties of the street:
meet thy crazed #1 fan.
Thursday, January 13, 2005
gratuitous cute bunny break
yayyyyyyyyyyyy....look what i found in hard drive! another long lost photo of the world's cutest rabbit: My former flat-mate's Rapid!
sigh. he's such a gorgeous little mimirabbity bugger.
sigh. he's such a gorgeous little mimirabbity bugger.
Vanity Thy Name is Mankind
330am...caffeine in system. was rummaging in my hard-drive again. am always surprised to find forgotten files from way back.
i called this pic "narcissus" apparently.
ah. the young salad days of being a pretentious git of an artist. :)
back history time:
My desktop which i am rummaging in is my trusty Mac G4 bought in the Year of the Dot-Com, 2000. It was my first taste of major, adult-like expenditure...what a way to blow $5000 man.
I bought it without any knowledge of how to use anything beyond Microsoft Office, Internet explorer and e-mail. I bought it 'cos 3 former school-mates said,"Won't it be cool to set up a graphic design/ web design business? We will so be in demand with the dot com frenzy!"
You know...I am still flabbergasted that we actually went and did it....set up company, survived one partner going off his rocker, inter-partner tensions and merger with a programming company where I learnt the art of Counterstrike and 10 000 new reasons to hate Shenton Way life.
you know what's the funny part?
we started the company........with only ONE person, P, knowing how to use all the relevant software.
the mad "business (koffkoff!) plan"?
1: we all move in together into a flat in orchard road which will double as office. (am absolutely shocked my parents let me stay with 3 strange guys whom i barely knew. am shocked i actually found nothing wrong with it. i did distinctly remember telling them if they started running around starkers or if i heard gross noises or strange one-night-stand women walking around, i was SO GONE.)
2: We all work in our day jobs, and then we moonlight at night
3: While we get projects in, P would coach us nightly in the art of Photoshop, Fireworks, Dream weaver etc (hence the need to move in together)
The thing is...of course...once the projects came in, P had no time whatsover to teach any of us esp cos you know....WE ALL STILL HAD FULL TIME DAY JOBS. geez. We were all like sleeping 3 hours every day for at least half a year. Good thing days of torture in architecture trained us in that.
Client pressure, desire to save face and a whole lot of coffee can do wonders in speeding up the learning process I tell you.
I still remember the first presentation we had....and it was before the CEO of a big time ad agency too. Stupid P who was supposed to be there had to bail out, leaving me and a quaking "other-just-as -inexperienced partner" to bluff our way through.
Wah lau. Those were some strange days. Anyone who did the dot-com in 2000 probably has equally far-out tales to tell.
I see my year of "drop-out, tune-out" foray into dot-comming as my personal Woodstock. Its the closest Generation X had to a hippie era of rebellion after all!
just like them aging hippies, i guess I still carry anti-corporate, anti-typical lifestyle sentiments in me. Quite fond of them actually!
was a lot crazier about the whole alternative pseudo leftist lifestyle before though. I once wrote an anti corporate ethics article called "Screw Your Powerpoint Presentation". I even wrote a diatribe against sickeningly boring couples called, "The Revenge of Hello Kitty and Dear Daniel".
It had this great bit in it:
"I donâ??t want to see people in mediocre relationships as much as I donâ??t want to have them. Dear Daniels and Hello Kitties of the world, stitch yourself a mouth, split up a little, and get a life beyond each other PLEASE."
oooh ouch......bitchy little girl alert!
good grief.
Seeing those articles again in my hard-drive....That's like digging in your wardrobe and finding those dreadul 80s outfits you used to find "cool".
Heh. Oh memories of horrid 80s outfits...that deserves a whole other blog.
funny to imagine God watching over me in those years. He must have been watching out real hard. I am amazed at the nonsense I lived through and learnt from.
Vanities.... all those past vanities of various kinds. Mostly minor, some major....all vanities nonetheless.
God must have shook His head a million times as He gently paved the way. You just gotta Love the Big Guy. :)
a lot of change can happen in 5 years that's all i can say.
i called this pic "narcissus" apparently.
ah. the young salad days of being a pretentious git of an artist. :)
back history time:
My desktop which i am rummaging in is my trusty Mac G4 bought in the Year of the Dot-Com, 2000. It was my first taste of major, adult-like expenditure...what a way to blow $5000 man.
I bought it without any knowledge of how to use anything beyond Microsoft Office, Internet explorer and e-mail. I bought it 'cos 3 former school-mates said,"Won't it be cool to set up a graphic design/ web design business? We will so be in demand with the dot com frenzy!"
You know...I am still flabbergasted that we actually went and did it....set up company, survived one partner going off his rocker, inter-partner tensions and merger with a programming company where I learnt the art of Counterstrike and 10 000 new reasons to hate Shenton Way life.
you know what's the funny part?
we started the company........with only ONE person, P, knowing how to use all the relevant software.
the mad "business (koffkoff!) plan"?
1: we all move in together into a flat in orchard road which will double as office. (am absolutely shocked my parents let me stay with 3 strange guys whom i barely knew. am shocked i actually found nothing wrong with it. i did distinctly remember telling them if they started running around starkers or if i heard gross noises or strange one-night-stand women walking around, i was SO GONE.)
2: We all work in our day jobs, and then we moonlight at night
3: While we get projects in, P would coach us nightly in the art of Photoshop, Fireworks, Dream weaver etc (hence the need to move in together)
The thing is...of course...once the projects came in, P had no time whatsover to teach any of us esp cos you know....WE ALL STILL HAD FULL TIME DAY JOBS. geez. We were all like sleeping 3 hours every day for at least half a year. Good thing days of torture in architecture trained us in that.
Client pressure, desire to save face and a whole lot of coffee can do wonders in speeding up the learning process I tell you.
I still remember the first presentation we had....and it was before the CEO of a big time ad agency too. Stupid P who was supposed to be there had to bail out, leaving me and a quaking "other-just-as -inexperienced partner" to bluff our way through.
Wah lau. Those were some strange days. Anyone who did the dot-com in 2000 probably has equally far-out tales to tell.
I see my year of "drop-out, tune-out" foray into dot-comming as my personal Woodstock. Its the closest Generation X had to a hippie era of rebellion after all!
just like them aging hippies, i guess I still carry anti-corporate, anti-typical lifestyle sentiments in me. Quite fond of them actually!
was a lot crazier about the whole alternative pseudo leftist lifestyle before though. I once wrote an anti corporate ethics article called "Screw Your Powerpoint Presentation". I even wrote a diatribe against sickeningly boring couples called, "The Revenge of Hello Kitty and Dear Daniel".
It had this great bit in it:
"I donâ??t want to see people in mediocre relationships as much as I donâ??t want to have them. Dear Daniels and Hello Kitties of the world, stitch yourself a mouth, split up a little, and get a life beyond each other PLEASE."
oooh ouch......bitchy little girl alert!
good grief.
Seeing those articles again in my hard-drive....That's like digging in your wardrobe and finding those dreadul 80s outfits you used to find "cool".
Heh. Oh memories of horrid 80s outfits...that deserves a whole other blog.
funny to imagine God watching over me in those years. He must have been watching out real hard. I am amazed at the nonsense I lived through and learnt from.
Vanities.... all those past vanities of various kinds. Mostly minor, some major....all vanities nonetheless.
God must have shook His head a million times as He gently paved the way. You just gotta Love the Big Guy. :)
a lot of change can happen in 5 years that's all i can say.
Tuesday, January 11, 2005
Behind the Hands of Compassion are Hearts of Flesh
straight from the horse's mouth: a personal account from a Singaporean in the trenches of relief efforts in Banda Aceh. Click on the link to read....got it from my favourite local food blogger at shiokadelicious:
"...All this is incredibly human work. You want to break down in tears, you are exploding with adrenalin. For example, someone might call and ask you what they should do with the body of their baby which they just found. Or beg you to search such and such an island for their missing relative. And you need to translate that desperation into the deployment of helicopters and armed forces personnel - if we had the time to stop and reflect on it, we would be struck dumb by what we are all doing. We would probably be paralysed...."
I repeat - our local boys in SCDF blue and army green ROCK DA HOUSE.
Through Ezekiel 11:19, God declares, "I will give them an undivided heart and put a new spirit in them; I will remove from them their heart of stone and give them a heart of flesh. "
Here's to hoping more of us feel that transformation in the years to come where a sustained relief effort will be much needed...alongside with sustained efforts for all the sidelined, ongoing woes in Sudan, Iraq, Somalia, Ethiopia etc.
am sure in the later part of the year we are going to see a flood of calls for small scale rebuilding efforts initiated by Habitat for Humanity or Operation Mobilisation, sponsorship/adoption drives by World Vision and more. All of us, especially Christians who know the mercy of God, should chip in best that we can to serve.
Wouldn't it be wonderful to see cell groups working together to go on a small scale rebuilding trip? I think it would be incredibly meaningful...not to mention poignant in the light of Pastor Chris' plea to ARPC cell groups to become more global and community minded in our perception of the church. As soon as there is some form of greenlight for individual groups to step up, I hope we can get an ARPC inter-DG little mission trip going.
It's never about how we start the race but how we carry on and how we finish.
May we finish it hands worn out in work for our neighbour raised in glory to God
and hearts pained but pumping from being transmogrified into flesh.
Damn yo' namby-pamby rat race, paper chase, money trail and battle of the sexes!
THIS is what life is about:
the demonstration of Love for our neighbours made manifest through our love for God.
Now that's worth a fight to the finish.
"...All this is incredibly human work. You want to break down in tears, you are exploding with adrenalin. For example, someone might call and ask you what they should do with the body of their baby which they just found. Or beg you to search such and such an island for their missing relative. And you need to translate that desperation into the deployment of helicopters and armed forces personnel - if we had the time to stop and reflect on it, we would be struck dumb by what we are all doing. We would probably be paralysed...."
I repeat - our local boys in SCDF blue and army green ROCK DA HOUSE.
Through Ezekiel 11:19, God declares, "I will give them an undivided heart and put a new spirit in them; I will remove from them their heart of stone and give them a heart of flesh. "
Here's to hoping more of us feel that transformation in the years to come where a sustained relief effort will be much needed...alongside with sustained efforts for all the sidelined, ongoing woes in Sudan, Iraq, Somalia, Ethiopia etc.
am sure in the later part of the year we are going to see a flood of calls for small scale rebuilding efforts initiated by Habitat for Humanity or Operation Mobilisation, sponsorship/adoption drives by World Vision and more. All of us, especially Christians who know the mercy of God, should chip in best that we can to serve.
Wouldn't it be wonderful to see cell groups working together to go on a small scale rebuilding trip? I think it would be incredibly meaningful...not to mention poignant in the light of Pastor Chris' plea to ARPC cell groups to become more global and community minded in our perception of the church. As soon as there is some form of greenlight for individual groups to step up, I hope we can get an ARPC inter-DG little mission trip going.
It's never about how we start the race but how we carry on and how we finish.
May we finish it hands worn out in work for our neighbour raised in glory to God
and hearts pained but pumping from being transmogrified into flesh.
Damn yo' namby-pamby rat race, paper chase, money trail and battle of the sexes!
THIS is what life is about:
the demonstration of Love for our neighbours made manifest through our love for God.
Now that's worth a fight to the finish.
Saturday, January 08, 2005
The Stirrings of a good idea
Its 4am and I have not finished my work for my 930am class. Oh the penalties of playing.
Was up till 120am having supper with the usual Friday supper club, followed by pseudo pool hustling with MonkeyBoss, Jay-9 and MojoJojo.
Had a very very good school meeting with StainBoy earlier in the day. Hit on amazing little gem of a plan for our school....mind blowingly simple with all the feeling of a Really Good Idea. It may just be that Really Good Idea we have been trying to figure out to sustain our school long-term.
I love the feeling of a Good Idea - it's one that sets your heart racing, palpitating,,,,you feel excitement well up...and you wanna just bite down and see it come real...its got that ring of Truth about it, like something that is not forced but absolutely natural. It falls in place, clicking like jigsaw pieces with everything else you see around you. A great solution falls in place multiple times, simultaneously solving many other problems you see. A Good Idea has that almost tangible, visceral "click" factor....not just for yourself but for any like-minded individual who hears it. It's the "click" of "YES! That's it! I want a part of that too!"
Its that kind of idea that sets Idealism vibe in you stir-crazy.
Oh how fabulous it is to fly on the wings of a Really Good Dream. And this Really Good Idea is just that. ..I can only depend on God to sustain, guide and watch over us in this. After all, the Old Guy was the One who inspired it.
squee-ing in excitement within at the thought of it possibly becoming a reality. It's what we started the school for......without really knowing how to go about it. So exciting to watch the disparate threads of everything we have gone through bind up and make sense. :)
okay. back to work. resist blog-gushing....resist!
current mood: shacked but on adrenaline rush of drafting out funky lesson plan
current iTunes music:
Sting's When We Dance
Sinead O Connor's Nothing Compares 2U
Was up till 120am having supper with the usual Friday supper club, followed by pseudo pool hustling with MonkeyBoss, Jay-9 and MojoJojo.
Had a very very good school meeting with StainBoy earlier in the day. Hit on amazing little gem of a plan for our school....mind blowingly simple with all the feeling of a Really Good Idea. It may just be that Really Good Idea we have been trying to figure out to sustain our school long-term.
I love the feeling of a Good Idea - it's one that sets your heart racing, palpitating,,,,you feel excitement well up...and you wanna just bite down and see it come real...its got that ring of Truth about it, like something that is not forced but absolutely natural. It falls in place, clicking like jigsaw pieces with everything else you see around you. A great solution falls in place multiple times, simultaneously solving many other problems you see. A Good Idea has that almost tangible, visceral "click" factor....not just for yourself but for any like-minded individual who hears it. It's the "click" of "YES! That's it! I want a part of that too!"
Its that kind of idea that sets Idealism vibe in you stir-crazy.
Oh how fabulous it is to fly on the wings of a Really Good Dream. And this Really Good Idea is just that. ..I can only depend on God to sustain, guide and watch over us in this. After all, the Old Guy was the One who inspired it.
squee-ing in excitement within at the thought of it possibly becoming a reality. It's what we started the school for......without really knowing how to go about it. So exciting to watch the disparate threads of everything we have gone through bind up and make sense. :)
okay. back to work. resist blog-gushing....resist!
current mood: shacked but on adrenaline rush of drafting out funky lesson plan
current iTunes music:
Sting's When We Dance
Sinead O Connor's Nothing Compares 2U
Friday, January 07, 2005
One salute and one bitchy rant
I have been deeply moved to see Chinooks, Pumas, battleships, men in fatigues, army jeeps moving in synchronisation to help the needy in Indonesia. Prouder still, DAMN prouder still, to see the little Singapore flag emblazoned on the sleeves of our SCDF and army guys.
Our nation, my little idiosyncratic nation, is pulling its weight in the disaster relief effort with a grace and humility that could shame larger, richer nations.
To see the symbols of efficient modern warfare be renewed as symbols of efficient humanitarianism.....To look at faces raised in anticipation rather than fear at the sound of approaching helicopters....
God is doing a wonderful work in our nation. It may be doing some things wrong but damn if its not doing a lot of things right. I cannot imagine living anywhere else in the world. PM Lee, his administration and all the Singaporeans who have relentlessly poured their contributions ever since the disaster hit.....I salute you. If I could, I would like to shake your hand and pray we continue demonstrating our heart to serve in a world torn by political posturing.
I have never been prouder to call this place my homeland.
WIth all due respect, Phooey on all armchair Singaporean critics. This government has earned my respect and so have its people.
$24m raised by our local Red Cross? WOW. The hopeful grins of the 3 army personnel in the papers in the midst of all that disaster? the officer who declared he could set up a water purifer unit now in 15 min? The officer who missed his daughter's 2nd birthday to coordinate relief efforts? FANTASTIC.
I love this place.
There was a time when people said that Singapore won't make it, but we did indeed.
+++++
Minor bitchy rant:
Can I be bitchy and add....what the heck is up with George Bush's PR Department? They happily announced Bush is contributing US $10,000 out of his own pocket to the disaster relief. Hello???!! Right next to that sorry little snippet was an article about how Winter Sonata's bae yong joon , the Korean actor has contributed US$500,000. Let's not even mention Schumacher in the sports page that contributed $10 million
I know its not about quantity donated but you know when the man who heads the richest, most powerful nation in the WHOLE world contributes 1/50th of what a modestly successful Asian actor does.....you just got to wonder. I mean Bae has money but he is hardly $20m a film like George Clooney. I wonder how many of those super duper CEOs have dug into their GDP sized fortunes...
and all those publicity hound athletes who are offering $1000 for every basket shot or goal made....please. Just shut up and give money if you want to give. Don't turn it into a sorry media blitz. Same with all the little local businesses that are trying to cash in on the tragedy with some "10% of our sales proceeds will go to the relief fund". Argh....for goodness sake. Even if it was well-intentioned, it really is quite tacky. Don't even get me started on Breadtalk's '9.0" (like Richter scale 9.0...geddit?geddit? argh!) bun that they created where 90% of proceeds go to the fund. It just seems so....inappropriate and cutesy. Cutesy in tragedy is just.....plain tacky.
No wonder Christ warned us to give quietly. The widow and the copper coins will be well-rewarded more than any Pharisee who flashes his gold bags.
i think Neil Humphreys said it best in today's sports page writeup on the athelete donors: the dead and dying have no time for silly gimmicks. Just give and don't think about how to leverage off good will from your contribution.
Our nation, my little idiosyncratic nation, is pulling its weight in the disaster relief effort with a grace and humility that could shame larger, richer nations.
To see the symbols of efficient modern warfare be renewed as symbols of efficient humanitarianism.....To look at faces raised in anticipation rather than fear at the sound of approaching helicopters....
God is doing a wonderful work in our nation. It may be doing some things wrong but damn if its not doing a lot of things right. I cannot imagine living anywhere else in the world. PM Lee, his administration and all the Singaporeans who have relentlessly poured their contributions ever since the disaster hit.....I salute you. If I could, I would like to shake your hand and pray we continue demonstrating our heart to serve in a world torn by political posturing.
I have never been prouder to call this place my homeland.
WIth all due respect, Phooey on all armchair Singaporean critics. This government has earned my respect and so have its people.
$24m raised by our local Red Cross? WOW. The hopeful grins of the 3 army personnel in the papers in the midst of all that disaster? the officer who declared he could set up a water purifer unit now in 15 min? The officer who missed his daughter's 2nd birthday to coordinate relief efforts? FANTASTIC.
I love this place.
There was a time when people said that Singapore won't make it, but we did indeed.
+++++
Minor bitchy rant:
Can I be bitchy and add....what the heck is up with George Bush's PR Department? They happily announced Bush is contributing US $10,000 out of his own pocket to the disaster relief. Hello???!! Right next to that sorry little snippet was an article about how Winter Sonata's bae yong joon , the Korean actor has contributed US$500,000. Let's not even mention Schumacher in the sports page that contributed $10 million
I know its not about quantity donated but you know when the man who heads the richest, most powerful nation in the WHOLE world contributes 1/50th of what a modestly successful Asian actor does.....you just got to wonder. I mean Bae has money but he is hardly $20m a film like George Clooney. I wonder how many of those super duper CEOs have dug into their GDP sized fortunes...
and all those publicity hound athletes who are offering $1000 for every basket shot or goal made....please. Just shut up and give money if you want to give. Don't turn it into a sorry media blitz. Same with all the little local businesses that are trying to cash in on the tragedy with some "10% of our sales proceeds will go to the relief fund". Argh....for goodness sake. Even if it was well-intentioned, it really is quite tacky. Don't even get me started on Breadtalk's '9.0" (like Richter scale 9.0...geddit?geddit? argh!) bun that they created where 90% of proceeds go to the fund. It just seems so....inappropriate and cutesy. Cutesy in tragedy is just.....plain tacky.
No wonder Christ warned us to give quietly. The widow and the copper coins will be well-rewarded more than any Pharisee who flashes his gold bags.
i think Neil Humphreys said it best in today's sports page writeup on the athelete donors: the dead and dying have no time for silly gimmicks. Just give and don't think about how to leverage off good will from your contribution.
Wednesday, January 05, 2005
Love will set you free
In November 2004, I blogged about a beautifully written article about what christian women can do when good friendships with guys go into the "WIERD ZONE" of "oops, i think i have feelings for you..." (cue: scary music)
anyway, was wandering back to the site and re-read the companion essay to it from a male point of view. It's quite a nice take somewhat on the same issue but with a slightly different spin which i like.
Extract from "Pursuing Love"
by John Fischer
I have discovered that what God wants us to pursue is not marriage, but love. Marriage is not an end in itself; it is a means to an end. Marriage is the servant of love. If we are pursuing marriage we are pursuing the wrong thing because love then becomes subservient to marriage. We start coming up with our own ideas of what love is. We don't allow the lord to show us and teach us, through the relationships he gives us, what love actually is. Pursue love, not marriage. This simple principle has set me free in the past few months in my relationships with my Christian sisters. Pursuing love immediately does all sorts of wonderful things. It does away with the "Is this the one?" question, because that is not so important at this point. I am learning how to minister, how to build others up, how to be friends.
My personal favourite bit is the way he concludes.
"...These principles are not only for single people but for all brothers and sisters in the Body of Christ. Begin to commit yourself to relationships. Step out in faith. It involves a tremendous risk. It's a lot easier to keep everybody at a distance. But I encourage you to pursue love, in spite of your fear, and watch God set you free."
He's right....daring to go out on a limb and love others personally, openly and fearlessly....wow, i have so much lessons to learn about loving those I am uncomfortable with in that way.
anyway, was wandering back to the site and re-read the companion essay to it from a male point of view. It's quite a nice take somewhat on the same issue but with a slightly different spin which i like.
Extract from "Pursuing Love"
by John Fischer
I have discovered that what God wants us to pursue is not marriage, but love. Marriage is not an end in itself; it is a means to an end. Marriage is the servant of love. If we are pursuing marriage we are pursuing the wrong thing because love then becomes subservient to marriage. We start coming up with our own ideas of what love is. We don't allow the lord to show us and teach us, through the relationships he gives us, what love actually is. Pursue love, not marriage. This simple principle has set me free in the past few months in my relationships with my Christian sisters. Pursuing love immediately does all sorts of wonderful things. It does away with the "Is this the one?" question, because that is not so important at this point. I am learning how to minister, how to build others up, how to be friends.
My personal favourite bit is the way he concludes.
"...These principles are not only for single people but for all brothers and sisters in the Body of Christ. Begin to commit yourself to relationships. Step out in faith. It involves a tremendous risk. It's a lot easier to keep everybody at a distance. But I encourage you to pursue love, in spite of your fear, and watch God set you free."
He's right....daring to go out on a limb and love others personally, openly and fearlessly....wow, i have so much lessons to learn about loving those I am uncomfortable with in that way.
In my Life, I love You more
met orangeclouds last night to watch Jude Law strut his stuff in Alfie, the remake of Michael Caine's 1966 movie. Jude Law is a born lady-killer. I don't think anyone could have played that originally misogynistic role as charmingly as he did.
++++++
anyhow, post Arctic conditions at GV Plaza, The O.C. and me end up in Ajisen, nursing dumpling soup and hot green tea. We talked about her impending overseas posting, the potential transience of friendships, losing old friends, gaining new ones, what we think of year ahead for us etc.
I am a sentimental fool at heart. I am a natural at MGSR esque thoughts and everything I see, I see through the tinted lenses of my old-fashioned ideals. So it's no surprise that I found myself sepia-ing The Notorious T.F.G's lovely photo of us on Boxing Day. One of my favourite Beetles tracks, In My Life, kept running through my mind. The lyrics are not totally in line with my thoughts but the sentiment is.
There are places I remember all my life,
Though some have changed,
Some forever, not for better,
Some have gone and some remain.
All these places had their moments
With lovers and friends I still can recall.
Some are dead and some are living.
In my life I've loved them all.
But of all these friends and lovers,
There is no one compares with you,
And these memories lose their meaning
When I think of love as something new.
Though I know I'll never lose affection
For people and things that went before,
I know I'll often stop and think about them,
In my life I'll love you more.
I guess when I look at the shot I see 18 lives at different stages. I see 18 different dreams, hopes, loves and fears in development.
Some of these 18 lives have barely crossed, some have become wonderfully entangled, some are leaving, some are going, and some are bringing in new life.
There is a wonderful metaphor about how our lives are like single threads in a gigantic tapestry woven by God. We don't understand why some cross neatly and some never cross and some cross in a horrible, messy knot. The backs of tapestries are always a mass of confusion.
But somehow, it is nice to know that in the End of Days, when God turns over that tapestry, we are finally going to see the intricate picture that he has been building up through the threading of our individual lives.
here's to hoping 2005 will find all of us growing in God and really being there for each other in the littlest and deepest ways. We only have one shot at this brief life on Earth. Let's spend it in joyful celebration and watchful care over each other.
We can and do make a difference in other people's lives. Though that is a cliche sentiment, I still think it is one of the sweetest and truest ones.
++++++
anyhow, post Arctic conditions at GV Plaza, The O.C. and me end up in Ajisen, nursing dumpling soup and hot green tea. We talked about her impending overseas posting, the potential transience of friendships, losing old friends, gaining new ones, what we think of year ahead for us etc.
I am a sentimental fool at heart. I am a natural at MGSR esque thoughts and everything I see, I see through the tinted lenses of my old-fashioned ideals. So it's no surprise that I found myself sepia-ing The Notorious T.F.G's lovely photo of us on Boxing Day. One of my favourite Beetles tracks, In My Life, kept running through my mind. The lyrics are not totally in line with my thoughts but the sentiment is.
There are places I remember all my life,
Though some have changed,
Some forever, not for better,
Some have gone and some remain.
All these places had their moments
With lovers and friends I still can recall.
Some are dead and some are living.
In my life I've loved them all.
But of all these friends and lovers,
There is no one compares with you,
And these memories lose their meaning
When I think of love as something new.
Though I know I'll never lose affection
For people and things that went before,
I know I'll often stop and think about them,
In my life I'll love you more.
I guess when I look at the shot I see 18 lives at different stages. I see 18 different dreams, hopes, loves and fears in development.
Some of these 18 lives have barely crossed, some have become wonderfully entangled, some are leaving, some are going, and some are bringing in new life.
There is a wonderful metaphor about how our lives are like single threads in a gigantic tapestry woven by God. We don't understand why some cross neatly and some never cross and some cross in a horrible, messy knot. The backs of tapestries are always a mass of confusion.
But somehow, it is nice to know that in the End of Days, when God turns over that tapestry, we are finally going to see the intricate picture that he has been building up through the threading of our individual lives.
here's to hoping 2005 will find all of us growing in God and really being there for each other in the littlest and deepest ways. We only have one shot at this brief life on Earth. Let's spend it in joyful celebration and watchful care over each other.
We can and do make a difference in other people's lives. Though that is a cliche sentiment, I still think it is one of the sweetest and truest ones.
Tuesday, January 04, 2005
awwwww more 2005 goodness
one very good reason why 2005 will be a good year.
Dalmaetian and TuxedoDiplomat are having a little 'un. :))))))))))) yayyyyyyy!
Dalmaetian calls it "their little booger" cos its the size of one right now. Heh. I was bridesmaid at their wedding in 2004. Warm mushy feelings ensue.
Dalmaetian and TuxedoDiplomat are having a little 'un. :))))))))))) yayyyyyyy!
Dalmaetian calls it "their little booger" cos its the size of one right now. Heh. I was bridesmaid at their wedding in 2004. Warm mushy feelings ensue.
Monday, January 03, 2005
amazing grace how sweet the sound
Anyone who asks where is God in the suffering of the world, i say there is a reason why He made us in His image.
Reading through this online bulletin board of people who want to help the rebuilding and recovery of SE Asia has been greatly encouraging.
Many of these would-be volunteers may not even be christian, but I am sure God is the author of their desire to serve the suffering. God works through people mightily....the heart and desire of these people to drop everything to run across the world at their own expense to help the tsunami victims humbles me.
We christians who know about God's Love should be moved to play our part in even more readily! His call to feed the hungry and offer water to those who thirst have never been more keenly felt.
Reading through this online bulletin board of people who want to help the rebuilding and recovery of SE Asia has been greatly encouraging.
Many of these would-be volunteers may not even be christian, but I am sure God is the author of their desire to serve the suffering. God works through people mightily....the heart and desire of these people to drop everything to run across the world at their own expense to help the tsunami victims humbles me.
We christians who know about God's Love should be moved to play our part in even more readily! His call to feed the hungry and offer water to those who thirst have never been more keenly felt.
a new year, a new heavens, a new earth
first work week of the new year. man, that's always a scary thought. :)
was reading Sunday and Monday coverage of the tsunami crisis and found myself at several points tearing up again, sometimes with anger and sometimes in sadness. The dominant feeling overall was a realisation of how assuring it was to know that there will be a day of great accounting for every single one of those lives that was lost.
In my early christian walk, i never truly understood why Judgment Day was so important. Stereotypically, I saw it as a bit of a gloomy, pessimistic downer compared to all the sunshiney, Care Bear aspects of Christianity. I wanted Christianity and God to be all about Love. I forgot to care about why He is also known as God of absolute Justice.
When I read about the disgusting deprived men who gang-raped a young tsunami victim, frankly I wanted to hit the bastards. I want to see them suffer for their Evil. It's the same feeling that wells in me when I look at pictures of tortured children, the "collateral damaged" in war, Holocaust victims and the starving poor.
Sometimes, I just want to scream that it is so BLOODY OUTRAGEOUS what Man thinks he can get away with.
But anger, even righteous anger from us human beings can only get us so far. Anger mobilises us to do something, to reach out and right whatever wrongs we can in our limited way. $2 billion raised over a few days by the international community and countless unseen volunteers straining away in SE Asia counts for a great deal to me. I cannot wait to emphasise to my students how this shows we can all do something to ease suffering and to make at least a small part of life bearable for one other human being.
But all our anger, all our effort, all out heart ache and donations cannot hope to stopper the sufferings of this world. It is no secret - we cannot cannot hope to save our selves and our world.
There is too much that to handle. And so we cry out to God in despair, wailing, weeping, beating our chest, wringing the ground itself for answers. These cliche references to great despair have become so real as we watch the survivors of the tsunamis express their grief. I read of an old woman who grasped lumps of dirt to her chest because it was all she could hope to hold of her dead loved ones. Villagers pound their chests because there is nobody to pound and smash to blame. The open mouths of wailing will not be shut, beamed into living rooms across the world, screaming about hopelessness.
From the depths of the BIble, in words that reach from the past and point towards a vast Eternity, He whispers His ancient answer through the prophet Isaiah:
"17 "Behold, I will create
new heavens and a new earth.
The former things will not be remembered,
nor will they come to mind.
18 But be glad and rejoice forever
in what I will create,
for I will create Jerusalem to be a delight
and its people a joy.
19 I will rejoice over Jerusalem
and take delight in my people;
the sound of weeping and of crying
will be heard in it no more.
20 "Never again will there be in it
an infant who lives but a few days,
or an old man who does not live out his years;
he who dies at a hundred
will be thought a mere youth;
he who fails to reach [a] a hundred
will be considered accursed.
21 They will build houses and dwell in them;
they will plant vineyards and eat their fruit.
22 No longer will they build houses and others live in them,
or plant and others eat.
For as the days of a tree,
so will be the days of my people;
my chosen ones will long enjoy
the works of their hands.
23 They will not toil in vain
or bear children doomed to misfortune;
for they will be a people blessed by the LORD ,
they and their descendants with them.
24 Before they call I will answer;
while they are still speaking I will hear.
25 The wolf and the lamb will feed together,
and the lion will eat straw like the ox,
but dust will be the serpent's food.
They will neither harm nor destroy
on all my holy mountain,"
says the LORD . "
My God, My God, let it all be True.... let every Word be true.
One horrifying, glorious, awesome day, God will cause the earth itself to yawn out its dead. And the 140,000 who died in the tsunami tragedy will be among them, raised to new life and called before their Maker. And my God will know their every name, their every deed and their every thought and Judge each and every life personally, justly and honourably.
We who felt there were good people who died there who deserved more will have our every tear wiped away as God honours them.
We who felt there were evil ones who thrived on the suffering of the victims, raping, pillaging and extorting them....we will witness the righteous anger of God finally setting things right.
That is my sole hope in times like this.
And my fear that I be found wanting in His eyes on that sobering day, is the one thing that keeps me humble and far wiser than I ever was before I knew Him.
was reading Sunday and Monday coverage of the tsunami crisis and found myself at several points tearing up again, sometimes with anger and sometimes in sadness. The dominant feeling overall was a realisation of how assuring it was to know that there will be a day of great accounting for every single one of those lives that was lost.
In my early christian walk, i never truly understood why Judgment Day was so important. Stereotypically, I saw it as a bit of a gloomy, pessimistic downer compared to all the sunshiney, Care Bear aspects of Christianity. I wanted Christianity and God to be all about Love. I forgot to care about why He is also known as God of absolute Justice.
When I read about the disgusting deprived men who gang-raped a young tsunami victim, frankly I wanted to hit the bastards. I want to see them suffer for their Evil. It's the same feeling that wells in me when I look at pictures of tortured children, the "collateral damaged" in war, Holocaust victims and the starving poor.
Sometimes, I just want to scream that it is so BLOODY OUTRAGEOUS what Man thinks he can get away with.
But anger, even righteous anger from us human beings can only get us so far. Anger mobilises us to do something, to reach out and right whatever wrongs we can in our limited way. $2 billion raised over a few days by the international community and countless unseen volunteers straining away in SE Asia counts for a great deal to me. I cannot wait to emphasise to my students how this shows we can all do something to ease suffering and to make at least a small part of life bearable for one other human being.
But all our anger, all our effort, all out heart ache and donations cannot hope to stopper the sufferings of this world. It is no secret - we cannot cannot hope to save our selves and our world.
There is too much that to handle. And so we cry out to God in despair, wailing, weeping, beating our chest, wringing the ground itself for answers. These cliche references to great despair have become so real as we watch the survivors of the tsunamis express their grief. I read of an old woman who grasped lumps of dirt to her chest because it was all she could hope to hold of her dead loved ones. Villagers pound their chests because there is nobody to pound and smash to blame. The open mouths of wailing will not be shut, beamed into living rooms across the world, screaming about hopelessness.
From the depths of the BIble, in words that reach from the past and point towards a vast Eternity, He whispers His ancient answer through the prophet Isaiah:
"17 "Behold, I will create
new heavens and a new earth.
The former things will not be remembered,
nor will they come to mind.
18 But be glad and rejoice forever
in what I will create,
for I will create Jerusalem to be a delight
and its people a joy.
19 I will rejoice over Jerusalem
and take delight in my people;
the sound of weeping and of crying
will be heard in it no more.
20 "Never again will there be in it
an infant who lives but a few days,
or an old man who does not live out his years;
he who dies at a hundred
will be thought a mere youth;
he who fails to reach [a] a hundred
will be considered accursed.
21 They will build houses and dwell in them;
they will plant vineyards and eat their fruit.
22 No longer will they build houses and others live in them,
or plant and others eat.
For as the days of a tree,
so will be the days of my people;
my chosen ones will long enjoy
the works of their hands.
23 They will not toil in vain
or bear children doomed to misfortune;
for they will be a people blessed by the LORD ,
they and their descendants with them.
24 Before they call I will answer;
while they are still speaking I will hear.
25 The wolf and the lamb will feed together,
and the lion will eat straw like the ox,
but dust will be the serpent's food.
They will neither harm nor destroy
on all my holy mountain,"
says the LORD . "
My God, My God, let it all be True.... let every Word be true.
One horrifying, glorious, awesome day, God will cause the earth itself to yawn out its dead. And the 140,000 who died in the tsunami tragedy will be among them, raised to new life and called before their Maker. And my God will know their every name, their every deed and their every thought and Judge each and every life personally, justly and honourably.
We who felt there were good people who died there who deserved more will have our every tear wiped away as God honours them.
We who felt there were evil ones who thrived on the suffering of the victims, raping, pillaging and extorting them....we will witness the righteous anger of God finally setting things right.
That is my sole hope in times like this.
And my fear that I be found wanting in His eyes on that sobering day, is the one thing that keeps me humble and far wiser than I ever was before I knew Him.
Sunday, January 02, 2005
once was lost but now am found
the handphone has been found. wah lau. my little blue phone has never looked more appealing. Nice little footnote to the first day of 2005.
I figured it would turn up within a week and indeed it did. In all places, it was in a laundry basket where I KIV clothes that need ironing. While cleaning my room, I must have swept it in there. careless or what!
thanks to all who were even mildly concerned about stupid handphone fiasco on my behalf. twas really sweet. i am an idiot.
I figured it would turn up within a week and indeed it did. In all places, it was in a laundry basket where I KIV clothes that need ironing. While cleaning my room, I must have swept it in there. careless or what!
thanks to all who were even mildly concerned about stupid handphone fiasco on my behalf. twas really sweet. i am an idiot.
Saturday, January 01, 2005
2005 resolution #2: to kick some serious ass, man
I took this pic in my first game of paintball, played in some dry grassland in California. The "chor lor" (tomboyish, ungainly) convent girl in me has secret ambitions to be a bad-ass fighter dude who can put some serious smack-down. Boo-YAH!
I always liked CS Lewis analogy of this world as a world under siege by the King of the World, and we Christians are the foot-soldiers, in the trenches, holding the line, listening to the wireless, waiting for the arrival of the true King on VIctory Day.
The Christian life is a fight to the finish. I have learnt to expect difficult decisions and hard commands to follow. Life must be faced manfully, and we must be braced to take the blows for the sake of the better world that will be ushered in by Christ.
So much is very very wrong in the status quo of our lives, our societies and our world. The cowardly thing for a Christian to do would be to do nothing, retreat and hide behind a mask of fake piety and saftey.
Personally, I want to be able to bite down and take courage to fight where I think God has placed me to fight. There are so many battlefields, and I am in varying positions of strategic strength.
I want to fight for the knowledge and peace of God within my family. I want to help spread the word of God more courageously and more spontaneously.
I want to continually subdue my personal apathy, vanquish my personal insecurities and fears. It stops me from being able to do God's work well.
I want to really fight tangibly for the causes I believe in - the apathy in the education system, the blindspots in the Church.
I want to help fight to sustain hope, joy and faith in the hearts of my fellow christian soldiers, men and women. I want to pick them up when they are down and urge them on even when all I want is to stay safe.
2005 looks ripe with challenges - my family, my cell, my students, my church, my country, my world. All are worthy of attention but I must not forget that the ultimate fight is for God's kingdom. If I forget that, then every fight disintegrates into a meaningless smashing up against walls.
Its 2005! girl, you gotta getcha lazy ass in gear and bring it on. The battle is afoot!
I always liked CS Lewis analogy of this world as a world under siege by the King of the World, and we Christians are the foot-soldiers, in the trenches, holding the line, listening to the wireless, waiting for the arrival of the true King on VIctory Day.
The Christian life is a fight to the finish. I have learnt to expect difficult decisions and hard commands to follow. Life must be faced manfully, and we must be braced to take the blows for the sake of the better world that will be ushered in by Christ.
So much is very very wrong in the status quo of our lives, our societies and our world. The cowardly thing for a Christian to do would be to do nothing, retreat and hide behind a mask of fake piety and saftey.
Personally, I want to be able to bite down and take courage to fight where I think God has placed me to fight. There are so many battlefields, and I am in varying positions of strategic strength.
I want to fight for the knowledge and peace of God within my family. I want to help spread the word of God more courageously and more spontaneously.
I want to continually subdue my personal apathy, vanquish my personal insecurities and fears. It stops me from being able to do God's work well.
I want to really fight tangibly for the causes I believe in - the apathy in the education system, the blindspots in the Church.
I want to help fight to sustain hope, joy and faith in the hearts of my fellow christian soldiers, men and women. I want to pick them up when they are down and urge them on even when all I want is to stay safe.
2005 looks ripe with challenges - my family, my cell, my students, my church, my country, my world. All are worthy of attention but I must not forget that the ultimate fight is for God's kingdom. If I forget that, then every fight disintegrates into a meaningless smashing up against walls.
Its 2005! girl, you gotta getcha lazy ass in gear and bring it on. The battle is afoot!
2005 resolution #1: keep delight in the Lord afresh
When I look at childhood photos like the one here, I wonder what the kid-me would have thought of the adult-me.
I love the way babies and children smile: they smile as if everything is wondrous and precious, they smile in a way that invites others to smile with them.
I have always thought as long as we can remember to smile like a child, we have got something right.
In the photo I am smiling at my brother (unseen...must dig up whole photo someday) who is making monkey faces at my dad the photographer.
The Monkey faces cost absolutely nothing but the moment generated a priceless Delight: simple, pure, unadulterated and unaffected.
When I am 80 I want to still remember to smile like that and have that smile come from nothing more than a heart that takes pleasure in the myriad wonders of God - from monkey faces in a garage to the glory of a new Heaven and Earth.
For 2004, I give thanks for the joyful wellspring of life God has grown in my heart. The spring grows sweeter and richer each year I spend knowing Him.
Once, I had a dream where I was playing monkey bars and catching with other children in a playground. Jesus stood on the side, watching and waiting patiently. When I was done playing, I ran to Him as a child would, grabbing His hand and chattering excitedly about all the mundane trivial things just like a 4 year old with a parent. I imagine it was along the lines of "Did you see what I did...? I met so and so and I did such and such....and oh, it was so fun...I want to go to such and such."
He listened politely even indulgently, all the while, holding my hand and walking me home. He kept me on the path and I followed without qualms.
I love that dream. I hold it in my memory as a image of my walk with Jesus. Someday as we get nearer home, I hope I will finally know Him as I am known. Not just as my longsuffering guardian but as my Lord King and Saviour.
For 2005, I just want to be able to continue to delight in the Love of my life.
How good it is to know my dear Saviour. How infinitiely sweet it is to be loved by one such as He.
Lord, refresh this heart and cement childish joy and grown up hope in my smile every moment of my life.
I love the way babies and children smile: they smile as if everything is wondrous and precious, they smile in a way that invites others to smile with them.
I have always thought as long as we can remember to smile like a child, we have got something right.
In the photo I am smiling at my brother (unseen...must dig up whole photo someday) who is making monkey faces at my dad the photographer.
The Monkey faces cost absolutely nothing but the moment generated a priceless Delight: simple, pure, unadulterated and unaffected.
When I am 80 I want to still remember to smile like that and have that smile come from nothing more than a heart that takes pleasure in the myriad wonders of God - from monkey faces in a garage to the glory of a new Heaven and Earth.
For 2004, I give thanks for the joyful wellspring of life God has grown in my heart. The spring grows sweeter and richer each year I spend knowing Him.
Once, I had a dream where I was playing monkey bars and catching with other children in a playground. Jesus stood on the side, watching and waiting patiently. When I was done playing, I ran to Him as a child would, grabbing His hand and chattering excitedly about all the mundane trivial things just like a 4 year old with a parent. I imagine it was along the lines of "Did you see what I did...? I met so and so and I did such and such....and oh, it was so fun...I want to go to such and such."
He listened politely even indulgently, all the while, holding my hand and walking me home. He kept me on the path and I followed without qualms.
I love that dream. I hold it in my memory as a image of my walk with Jesus. Someday as we get nearer home, I hope I will finally know Him as I am known. Not just as my longsuffering guardian but as my Lord King and Saviour.
For 2005, I just want to be able to continue to delight in the Love of my life.
How good it is to know my dear Saviour. How infinitiely sweet it is to be loved by one such as He.
Lord, refresh this heart and cement childish joy and grown up hope in my smile every moment of my life.
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