Pick Me Up, Love - Everyday

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Originally uploaded by neonangel.

"So are you still tired?"
"A little. It never lasts beyond a day but it comes and goes. I'm ok. People have been encouraging."
"How can your tiredness be gone so fast? It usually takes weeks for some."
"No choice lah. Pick up and go on lor. Pointless to mope or bitch about it."

Post conversation, I walked down Orchard this afternoon, thinking of going to the gym to workout and kill the rest of a Sunday afternoon.

At the junction between Heeren and Orchard Emerald, I heard a series of high-pitched shrieks and screams. There was a obese man in his 30s gesturing wildly at the staring crowds. His arms were just flailing around as if he was scoulding everybody.

He cut a freakish, pathetic figure in trendy Orchard Road - fat, faded red polo over his bulging belly, unflattering khaki shorts, and a tiny black backpack that accentuated his girth.

Around him, was a radius of emptiness. He was a stranger in a crowd of onlookers. Everybody was giving him a wide berth, attempting to avoid the madman physically but their eyes were invariably drawn towards him in judgement, either with open pity or open disdain.

After gesturing for a few more minutes and shrieking, he suddenly stopped and walked away towards Paragon. At the next junction, I could hear him screaming again.

I felt suddenly melancholic and in my heart, a sudden thought emerged:
I wish I could help you. I think I know how you feel.

I gave up the idea of gym and took a really long walk instead to shake of the wave of melancholy that was starting to take hold. All the way, I heard the Dave Matthews Band sing "Everyday" in my head.

And I messaged my friend back, "You're right. It doesn't go away that fast. It's awful fighting it off and I am sad."

I bought myself tea and basked in the perfect mindlessness of Martha Stewart's Living at the library. There is something very peaceful in looking at pretty pictures of a well-laid meal or picturesque living room. Went on to have a pretty nice dinner with parents later (surprisingly sane without usual sniping). I re-read an encouraging note I got from a stranger. I received a powerful prayer from SMS. Will end the night in prayer and fellowship with a good friend.

God's love will prevail. It will pick me up everyday. But it does not make the walk any easier. But it does make it more meaningful and more possible. And I guess in that sense - it gets easier. And I can say with confidence and truthfulness - I am doing alright.
______________________

Dave Matthews Band "Everyday"

"Pick me up, love!
Hey, come on come on come on
Everyday, ah
Pick me up, oh, from the bottom
Up to the top, love, everyday
Pay no mind to taunts or advances
I take my chances on everyday
Left to right
Up and down, love
I push up love, love everyday
Jump in the mud, oh
Get your hands dirty with
Love it up on everyday
All you need is
All you want is
All you need is love.
All you need is
What you want is
All you need is love.
Everyday
Everyday
Oh, everyday..."