Wednesday, July 27, 2005

Neonangel: Girl Genius

Reading a line from some random blog about "This is your life - are you where you should be?"
made me recall some seriously off-tangent careers I have contemplated half-seriously somewhere in my short life. Delusion can be a powerful thing.

TOP 3 WOEBEGONE CAREERS THE WORLD IS GLAD I NEVER TOOK UP:

1. Fashion Designer
At the height of primary school, I was the creme de la creme of the paper doll making world. I actually bought a USBOURNE book about entering the fashion industry. At Pri 5, I designed a hideous pink dress with oh so hip cut-out shoulders inspired by Psylocke's costume from the X-Men. Entered it in a competition that obviously nobody else participated in. The monstrosity got sewn and I made my friend wear it and model it. I am evil. It was that ugly. I also attempted a few *koff* cutting-edge looks in my teenage years - day-glo socks, cut-outs in my pants, scrawling "hip!" on my tee-shirt in glitter paint, peace signs, and worse - wore headbands for 2 years straight like I was a hippie, oh horrors horror upon horrors. I have an awful photo somewhere of me attempting to copy Debbie GIbson's look circa Electric Youth. You would think the mirror would have been nice and just broke the news to me that I was not looking remotely cool. :)

2. Broadway singer / musical playwright genius
early Secondary school - I contemplated being not just any Broadway singer...I wanted to play Jean Valjean. Yup you got that right. Who cares if I was female, chinese and not that great a singer to boot. I had a grand time memorising all his lines. Don't even ask about the CRAP musicals I supposedly wrote. They were basically ripoffs from stuff I heard but padded with new CRAP lyrics and some pretty lousy plots. Oh yes, every musical I "wrote" involved war, unrequited love and many people dying dramatically on stage. I have an inner drama queen. She is evil.

3. Superhero Comic creator
I proudly co-created an X-men offshoot called "Class X" together with a fellow nerd in RGS. We were so darn proud of our creation we actually showed it to our vice principal. "Class X" shockingly made it to 3 issues - and it was so cutting-edge that it had every conceivable stereotype and archetype in them. I lost the first 2 issues and today, evidence of Class X's existence lies buried under my bed in the form of "Issue 3 - Attack On the Mansion!"
There is a reaaaaaalllllllllly brilliant sequence in there of a hacker who manages to encrypt so much information that the computer blows apart a room. Wow. Talk about logic.

"Class X" was thinly disguised teenage fantasy - the heroines of the team were of course alter-egos of me and my friend. It was an excuse to invent cute alter-ego boyfriends. If this was Nerds Anonymous, I would confess my codename was Spitfire, I had the funky power to manipulate molecular structures and I had the coolest boyfriend ever. He was Gamer - the team leader who managed to trick aforementioned hacker into blowing apart the room. My friend only dated the team strong man, some Greek hunk. I picked personality and brains over money and brawn even back then okay. Don't play play.

Sigh. I am such a nerd.
Cut me and I bleed pure, unadulterated nerd.

See it's a very good thing that i ended up a teacher. The world is safe from day-glo cut-out fashion collections.

2 comments:

The Rust said...

I read you over Xiaxue too. And can I buy the 3 copies of Class X please?

neonangel said...

actually...i kinda like reading xiaxue. haha :)
and yes, not-karl marxx - i am proud of being a DND playing nerd

and no, the rust, nobody is getting their hands on those vintage Class X issues. I have a semblance of a reputation to protect.

Some things are too awful to share with the world. I rest assured that Jesus forgives everything. Even crappily conveived plots. :P