okay i really must make this my last personality test for the nite i saw a link to the KINGDOMALITY test that Mothman mentioned before and just HAD to take it.....especially cos of my DND gaming tendencies. .
Turns out i am a Dreamer-Minstrel. man...i wanna be a fighter or a cool archer! never mind at least in current campaign i am a cool kick arse halfling ninja-cleric. bah these stereotypes...
-see the "Silver Lining" to every dark and dreary cloud.
-Look at the bright side is your motto and understanding why everything happens for the best is your goal.
-There is nothing so terrible that you can not find some good within it.
-On the positive side, you are spontaneous, charismatic, idealistic and empathic.
-On the negative side, you may be a sentimental dreamer who is emotionally impractical.
phooey. i sound like a giant Care Bear. that's it. last one. must go sleep.
Thursday, February 24, 2005
I Heart Personality Tests
I love taking online personality tests and rubbish quizzes. Forgot my Jung type so went to retake the Jung Personality Test
what's my type?
"ENFP - Extroverted Intuitive Feeling Perceiving (The Champion Idealist)
Strength of the preferences %
22 75 25 22
You are:
slightly extrovert
distinctively intuitive
moderately feeling
slightly perceiving
The Champion Idealists are abstract in thought and speech, cooperative in accomplishing their aims, and informative and extraverted when relating with others. For Champions, nothing occurs which does not have some deep ethical significance, and this, coupled with their uncanny sense of the motivations of others, gives them a talent for seeing life as an exciting drama, pregnant with possibilities for both good and evil.
This type is found in only about 3 percent of the general population, but they have great influence because of their extraordinary impact on others.
Champions are inclined to go everywhere and look into everything that has to do with the advance of good and the retreat of evil in the world.
They can't bear to miss out on what is going on around them; they must experience, first hand, all the significant social events that affect our lives. And then they are eager to relate the stories they've uncovered, hoping to disclose the "truth" of people and issues, and to advocate causes.
This strong drive to unveil current events can make them tireless in conversing with others, like fountains that bubble and splash, spilling over their own words to get it all out.
Champions consider intense emotional experiences as being vital to a full life, although they can never quite shake the feeling that a part of themselves is split off, uninvolved in the experience. Thus, while they strive for emotional congruency, they often see themselves in some danger of losing touch with their real feelings, which Champions possess in a wide range and variety.
In the same vein, Champions strive toward a kind of spontaneous personal authenticity, and this intention always to "be themselves" is usually communicated nonverbally to others, who find it quite attractive.
All too often, however, Champions fall short in their efforts to be authentic, and they tend to heap coals of fire on themselves, berating themselves for the slightest self-conscious role-playing. "
which makes me best buddies with Leon Trotsky, the unsinkable Molly Brown, Thomas Paine, Oliver Stone and Charlotte Bronte actually. haha. No wonder I love Oprah Winfrey.
also explains why my blogs are so bloody long-winded. I am such a yapper.... :)
what's my type?
"ENFP - Extroverted Intuitive Feeling Perceiving (The Champion Idealist)
Strength of the preferences %
22 75 25 22
You are:
slightly extrovert
distinctively intuitive
moderately feeling
slightly perceiving
The Champion Idealists are abstract in thought and speech, cooperative in accomplishing their aims, and informative and extraverted when relating with others. For Champions, nothing occurs which does not have some deep ethical significance, and this, coupled with their uncanny sense of the motivations of others, gives them a talent for seeing life as an exciting drama, pregnant with possibilities for both good and evil.
This type is found in only about 3 percent of the general population, but they have great influence because of their extraordinary impact on others.
Champions are inclined to go everywhere and look into everything that has to do with the advance of good and the retreat of evil in the world.
They can't bear to miss out on what is going on around them; they must experience, first hand, all the significant social events that affect our lives. And then they are eager to relate the stories they've uncovered, hoping to disclose the "truth" of people and issues, and to advocate causes.
This strong drive to unveil current events can make them tireless in conversing with others, like fountains that bubble and splash, spilling over their own words to get it all out.
Champions consider intense emotional experiences as being vital to a full life, although they can never quite shake the feeling that a part of themselves is split off, uninvolved in the experience. Thus, while they strive for emotional congruency, they often see themselves in some danger of losing touch with their real feelings, which Champions possess in a wide range and variety.
In the same vein, Champions strive toward a kind of spontaneous personal authenticity, and this intention always to "be themselves" is usually communicated nonverbally to others, who find it quite attractive.
All too often, however, Champions fall short in their efforts to be authentic, and they tend to heap coals of fire on themselves, berating themselves for the slightest self-conscious role-playing. "
which makes me best buddies with Leon Trotsky, the unsinkable Molly Brown, Thomas Paine, Oliver Stone and Charlotte Bronte actually. haha. No wonder I love Oprah Winfrey.
also explains why my blogs are so bloody long-winded. I am such a yapper.... :)
Monday, February 21, 2005
Beautiful/Ugly
So tonight's post pool session rubbish topic was: Can ugly people ever seem beautiful? Or more politically correct....can people who do not look like gods and goddesses ever hope to look remotely attractive?
we were trying to dig up possible examples from society. Mothman cites "Harvey Keitel". I raise a "Steve Buscemi" (ooh that one is tough call). I thought "Mark Lee" of Jack Neo's gang of comics qualified. For all his pockmarked, ah-beng glory, I think Mark Lee has some x-factor that I can see as attractive.
We finally settled on whatever it is, a person must have "Seh" - an air of "Phwoar, he/she has got something" An elusive kind of charisma that just radiates.
I find it hard to be attracted to perfect lookers. Take Brad Pitt, Jude Law, Orlando Bloom as Legolas and Takeshi Kaneshiro. Or MIchelle Pfieffer, Zhang Ziyi, any random supermodel. All deadly chisled and honed classic good looks to a fault. Being attracted right away to them is not even an option - That kind of good looks you would stop and do a double take for. The truth is we all cannot help but look and marvel at something close to perfection. But amazing as they are, they don't fire my imagination, their presence does not linger or haunt my mind. I need to know more about them, what stories they come with before that happens.
The human body is like a marvelous live canvas - our life stories should mark it. Which is one reason why I never liked the whole Botox-facelift-pancake makeup nonsense. Why would you want to erase the signs of age to look like a cariacature of youth?
I think imperfection is underrated. Perfect beauty is definitely head-turning but imperfection more often than not captures the mysterious "Seh".
Imperfection has a realness, an edge, a strange haunting unpretentious earthy quality. It is like looking at something raw and honest. There is power and profoundity in the unfinished and unvarnished. Like acoustic live music compared to studio perfected tunes. Or a quick sketch in a dog-eared sketch book compared to a finished framed artwork. Or hearing people talk about their lives in an unrehearsed moment compared to a delivered polished speech.
Imperfection is less obvious, subtle, profound. I like people that show a life interestingly lived in their faces and bodies...it reflects something closer to the truth of this world. Scars, tattoos, signs of old teenage acne, a lined face without makeup, skinniness, athletic sinews, a few pounds overweight, stretch marks, wrinkles around the eyes, hands that have obviously done hard work, a slight unconfident hunch. Its like a little collection of stories to be deconstructed.
I think Kate Winslet's earthiness makes her beauty more profound than Michelle Pfieffer. I like Kristen Scott Thomas' sad, slightly crow feet lined eyes. Mother Teresa's worn face radiates something deeper and lovelier for every haunting line drawn across it.
I guess "Seh" arises when something meaningful, something that speaks of a person's private beliefs or hard-worn character shines through the cracks. A less classically good looking person can suddenly look wonderful if you see him/her with new eyes. An already good looking person blessed with an equally gorgeous character....phwoar. That admittedly would be potent combo! :) But meanwhile, my heart is with the less perfect.
I once observed a guy I knew playing with kids in a child care centre. Back then, his face was reddened with teenage acne, he had odd floppy beng hair and slightly girly looking eyes. But when he horsed around a bunch of rambunctious kids and every inch of him radiated "Big brother", his eyes alight with laughter....now that was beautiful. That was who he was. His imperfect looks were but an unvarnished frame to the true portrait within of something lovely and sweetly human.
we were trying to dig up possible examples from society. Mothman cites "Harvey Keitel". I raise a "Steve Buscemi" (ooh that one is tough call). I thought "Mark Lee" of Jack Neo's gang of comics qualified. For all his pockmarked, ah-beng glory, I think Mark Lee has some x-factor that I can see as attractive.
We finally settled on whatever it is, a person must have "Seh" - an air of "Phwoar, he/she has got something" An elusive kind of charisma that just radiates.
I find it hard to be attracted to perfect lookers. Take Brad Pitt, Jude Law, Orlando Bloom as Legolas and Takeshi Kaneshiro. Or MIchelle Pfieffer, Zhang Ziyi, any random supermodel. All deadly chisled and honed classic good looks to a fault. Being attracted right away to them is not even an option - That kind of good looks you would stop and do a double take for. The truth is we all cannot help but look and marvel at something close to perfection. But amazing as they are, they don't fire my imagination, their presence does not linger or haunt my mind. I need to know more about them, what stories they come with before that happens.
The human body is like a marvelous live canvas - our life stories should mark it. Which is one reason why I never liked the whole Botox-facelift-pancake makeup nonsense. Why would you want to erase the signs of age to look like a cariacature of youth?
I think imperfection is underrated. Perfect beauty is definitely head-turning but imperfection more often than not captures the mysterious "Seh".
Imperfection has a realness, an edge, a strange haunting unpretentious earthy quality. It is like looking at something raw and honest. There is power and profoundity in the unfinished and unvarnished. Like acoustic live music compared to studio perfected tunes. Or a quick sketch in a dog-eared sketch book compared to a finished framed artwork. Or hearing people talk about their lives in an unrehearsed moment compared to a delivered polished speech.
Imperfection is less obvious, subtle, profound. I like people that show a life interestingly lived in their faces and bodies...it reflects something closer to the truth of this world. Scars, tattoos, signs of old teenage acne, a lined face without makeup, skinniness, athletic sinews, a few pounds overweight, stretch marks, wrinkles around the eyes, hands that have obviously done hard work, a slight unconfident hunch. Its like a little collection of stories to be deconstructed.
I think Kate Winslet's earthiness makes her beauty more profound than Michelle Pfieffer. I like Kristen Scott Thomas' sad, slightly crow feet lined eyes. Mother Teresa's worn face radiates something deeper and lovelier for every haunting line drawn across it.
I guess "Seh" arises when something meaningful, something that speaks of a person's private beliefs or hard-worn character shines through the cracks. A less classically good looking person can suddenly look wonderful if you see him/her with new eyes. An already good looking person blessed with an equally gorgeous character....phwoar. That admittedly would be potent combo! :) But meanwhile, my heart is with the less perfect.
I once observed a guy I knew playing with kids in a child care centre. Back then, his face was reddened with teenage acne, he had odd floppy beng hair and slightly girly looking eyes. But when he horsed around a bunch of rambunctious kids and every inch of him radiated "Big brother", his eyes alight with laughter....now that was beautiful. That was who he was. His imperfect looks were but an unvarnished frame to the true portrait within of something lovely and sweetly human.
She Hates My Futon
I remember reading this little online novel called She Hates My Futon in 2000. The series is well-written in a very light hearted, High Fidelity kind of way. The snippet I am putting here is clean but more conservative readers should be warned that series has R(A) bits. Otherwise its a fun, trashy but yes, definitely secular read. :)
tonight's "beautiful/ugly" conversation made me think of this little bit again:
_______________________________________________
she hates my futon by Craig Mitchell
"I pause. Some guy is doing half the speed limit in front of me, driving one of those lame boxy sport jeeps. I look for a gap to get my green car around him. From time to time the passing street lights briefly illuminate the inside of my car and despite the fact I'm driving, I can't help glancing over at the passenger seat whenever I get the chance.
She's beautiful. And I should clarify that statement: not beautiful in a Pamela Anderson or Christy Turlington way. That's traditional beauty. That's obvious beauty. That's unnecessary breast enlargement, unnaturally dark tan, too much makeup, way too skinny, and cookie-cutter facial features. Dawn's is a different kind of beauty. I don't know how I'd describe it.
She's… she's… how do I say this? She's... oddly beautiful. You know what I mean? She's fairly attractive from the word go. Ask a friend what they think of her and you'll get a "not bad" or "she's kind of cute." But sit next to her in an all-green car with the passing street lights casting an occasional glimmer of light across the dash and her face and notice the way she smiles, and the way she laughs and the way she plays with her hair from time to time when she's answering a question and suddenly she's more beautiful than any supermodel is ever capable of being. Because she's real. Because she has flaws. Because she's a few pounds overweight and doesn't attempt to hide it.
That's beautiful if you ask me. That's what beauty is all about. "
tonight's "beautiful/ugly" conversation made me think of this little bit again:
_______________________________________________
she hates my futon by Craig Mitchell
"I pause. Some guy is doing half the speed limit in front of me, driving one of those lame boxy sport jeeps. I look for a gap to get my green car around him. From time to time the passing street lights briefly illuminate the inside of my car and despite the fact I'm driving, I can't help glancing over at the passenger seat whenever I get the chance.
She's beautiful. And I should clarify that statement: not beautiful in a Pamela Anderson or Christy Turlington way. That's traditional beauty. That's obvious beauty. That's unnecessary breast enlargement, unnaturally dark tan, too much makeup, way too skinny, and cookie-cutter facial features. Dawn's is a different kind of beauty. I don't know how I'd describe it.
She's… she's… how do I say this? She's... oddly beautiful. You know what I mean? She's fairly attractive from the word go. Ask a friend what they think of her and you'll get a "not bad" or "she's kind of cute." But sit next to her in an all-green car with the passing street lights casting an occasional glimmer of light across the dash and her face and notice the way she smiles, and the way she laughs and the way she plays with her hair from time to time when she's answering a question and suddenly she's more beautiful than any supermodel is ever capable of being. Because she's real. Because she has flaws. Because she's a few pounds overweight and doesn't attempt to hide it.
That's beautiful if you ask me. That's what beauty is all about. "
Sunday, February 20, 2005
One loved money, one loved power, and one loved her country.
just watched The Soong Sisters on DVD. The movie was not bad...not great...but was amazed by how compelling the material was. Am quite slack in my knowledge of China's history so this was a nice mini crash course in what of the greatest periods of upheaval in China - when Sun Yat Sen was trying to build a new China, when Chiang Kai Shek was wrestling with internal strife while fending off the invading Japanese and finally the fateful separation of Communist China and Nationalist Taiwan.
What was really amazing was how intimately the lives of 3 sisters were tied into this historical moment. Everything starts off with Charlie Soong, a Hainan man who converts to Christianity in America and returns to China as a missionary of sorts, publishing BIbles. Along the way, thanks to the Western connections he made, he becomes rich, marries a Christian Chinese woman and raises 3 daughters in the faith. The girls are educated in the West and go on to become truly remarkable women who played key roles in the lives of their powerful husbands and thus the life of China itself.
the quote about "One loved money, one loved power, and one loved her country." refers to how Soong Ai Ling marries HH Kung, the richest man in China who becomes the finance minister,
Soong Ching Ling marries Sun Yet Sen, the Father of modern China.
Soong May Ling marries Chiang Kai Shek, Sun's successor.
All along I kept wondering how much of their faith featured in the decisions these women made?
Was very intrigued by the decision of the family to allow May Ling to marry Chiang as long as he divorced his present wife and converted to Christianity. I wonder if Chiang ever converted truly? Was Ching Ling's devotion to unity in China based on her devotion to Christ or her late husband's ideals?
Am so going to find a biography of the Soongs to read. And for that matter, I wanna know more about the whole Nationalist Party vs. Communist Party thing especially now that the Taiwan/China fiasco is still unresolved. Sun Yet Sen is like China's Gandhi in terms of stature....seems a shame that I dont know much about the guy.
New mission to Chinese-ify myself. Have also made a promise to learn a couple of Chinese songs for karaoke in a maiden attempt to retain my roots. haha. have already targeted a couple of Jay Chou, Faye Wong stuff. Must not be "banana"!
For more reading: Concise writeup about the Soong Sisters from their Alma Mater, Weslleyan College. Pretty cool.
What was really amazing was how intimately the lives of 3 sisters were tied into this historical moment. Everything starts off with Charlie Soong, a Hainan man who converts to Christianity in America and returns to China as a missionary of sorts, publishing BIbles. Along the way, thanks to the Western connections he made, he becomes rich, marries a Christian Chinese woman and raises 3 daughters in the faith. The girls are educated in the West and go on to become truly remarkable women who played key roles in the lives of their powerful husbands and thus the life of China itself.
the quote about "One loved money, one loved power, and one loved her country." refers to how Soong Ai Ling marries HH Kung, the richest man in China who becomes the finance minister,
Soong Ching Ling marries Sun Yet Sen, the Father of modern China.
Soong May Ling marries Chiang Kai Shek, Sun's successor.
All along I kept wondering how much of their faith featured in the decisions these women made?
Was very intrigued by the decision of the family to allow May Ling to marry Chiang as long as he divorced his present wife and converted to Christianity. I wonder if Chiang ever converted truly? Was Ching Ling's devotion to unity in China based on her devotion to Christ or her late husband's ideals?
Am so going to find a biography of the Soongs to read. And for that matter, I wanna know more about the whole Nationalist Party vs. Communist Party thing especially now that the Taiwan/China fiasco is still unresolved. Sun Yet Sen is like China's Gandhi in terms of stature....seems a shame that I dont know much about the guy.
New mission to Chinese-ify myself. Have also made a promise to learn a couple of Chinese songs for karaoke in a maiden attempt to retain my roots. haha. have already targeted a couple of Jay Chou, Faye Wong stuff. Must not be "banana"!
For more reading: Concise writeup about the Soong Sisters from their Alma Mater, Weslleyan College. Pretty cool.
Wednesday, February 16, 2005
today's little things of thanksgiving
today's little things of thanksgiving:
1: Da Dome of Chrome lands an interview with cool business school!
2: CountBassie gets discharged from hospital!
3: Game that I designed characters for, and which Tuxedo Diplomat programmed....The Sound of Vengeance is picked as MACROMEDIA SITE OF THE DAY! Wah that is cool bragging rights. heh
4: I got emergency request to go play escort to 20 school kids tomorrow at Chinatown. I get paid to be their glorified baby sitter/ poetic mentor. Have to point out to them nice things they can write poems about. heehee. money should always be this pleasant to earn.
5: I actually got a semblance of work done and may actually start to understand how balance sheets work! (as if)
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++
today's little moment of horror:
was in one of those "i wanna heck care and dress like a slobby drudge" days.
so went to the gym in total auntie glory, accessorised with unglam Watson's plastic bag of stuff i bought on sale and my moveable office of a gargantuan backpack.
The high fashion look I was apparently trying to go for was Aunty Turtle, Cheapskate Extrordinaire.
Never a good look for any season, darling.
and of course, as God the Eternal Comedian would have it - i bump into Cute Lawyer Guy I have not seen in a while. My first thought is "Bugger. I look like crap" while he, like all snazzy lawyers, is nicely togged out in typical Shenton flair.
good thing am not interested in him or anything. otherwise it would be one of those classic "God, please kill me now" moments.
heh. :)
1: Da Dome of Chrome lands an interview with cool business school!
2: CountBassie gets discharged from hospital!
3: Game that I designed characters for, and which Tuxedo Diplomat programmed....The Sound of Vengeance is picked as MACROMEDIA SITE OF THE DAY! Wah that is cool bragging rights. heh
4: I got emergency request to go play escort to 20 school kids tomorrow at Chinatown. I get paid to be their glorified baby sitter/ poetic mentor. Have to point out to them nice things they can write poems about. heehee. money should always be this pleasant to earn.
5: I actually got a semblance of work done and may actually start to understand how balance sheets work! (as if)
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++
today's little moment of horror:
was in one of those "i wanna heck care and dress like a slobby drudge" days.
so went to the gym in total auntie glory, accessorised with unglam Watson's plastic bag of stuff i bought on sale and my moveable office of a gargantuan backpack.
The high fashion look I was apparently trying to go for was Aunty Turtle, Cheapskate Extrordinaire.
Never a good look for any season, darling.
and of course, as God the Eternal Comedian would have it - i bump into Cute Lawyer Guy I have not seen in a while. My first thought is "Bugger. I look like crap" while he, like all snazzy lawyers, is nicely togged out in typical Shenton flair.
good thing am not interested in him or anything. otherwise it would be one of those classic "God, please kill me now" moments.
heh. :)
Tuesday, February 15, 2005
my old crippled life
preparing for bible study tonight about "hard hearts" plus re-reading old angsty journal entries of years gone by has been quite sobering. felt a mixture of sadness and yet thankfulness as I read through letters I wrote to God through the wilderness years of teenage to early 20s life. It was strange re-reading my struggle of going at things alone, not knowing who to turn to, feeling so absolutely freakish and full of self-loathing. Teenage angst...such a cliche but such a horrible truth!
I was so crippled, I might as well have been the paralytic lowered through the roof in the book of Mark. Thankfully, like the paralytic, God helped me walk, taught me to run and led me to freedom.
why do we let the desires of this world cling so tightly to our lives and stop us from really moving or growing? They choke and cripple the precious shoots of Christian growth struggling to emerge from our hearts.
Sometimes it is still hard to remind myself of what I am here for.... to listen to God's word, accept it and let it bear fruit in my relations, in my work and in my life. Patience, kindness, joy, temperance, love, peace, faithfulness....I want to be found with these fruits as my most treasured possessions when I die. Let these things be the things i hungered, strove the hardest for and found the most contentment in.
Cripply-doo-dah. Let me not be that way ever again.
how scary to know that old way of life is but a choice and a bad memory away.
I was so crippled, I might as well have been the paralytic lowered through the roof in the book of Mark. Thankfully, like the paralytic, God helped me walk, taught me to run and led me to freedom.
why do we let the desires of this world cling so tightly to our lives and stop us from really moving or growing? They choke and cripple the precious shoots of Christian growth struggling to emerge from our hearts.
Sometimes it is still hard to remind myself of what I am here for.... to listen to God's word, accept it and let it bear fruit in my relations, in my work and in my life. Patience, kindness, joy, temperance, love, peace, faithfulness....I want to be found with these fruits as my most treasured possessions when I die. Let these things be the things i hungered, strove the hardest for and found the most contentment in.
Cripply-doo-dah. Let me not be that way ever again.
how scary to know that old way of life is but a choice and a bad memory away.
Friday, February 11, 2005
hotel rwanda afterthoughts - a time for heroes
Just watched Hotel Rwanda last night - a docu-film about hotel manager Paul Rusesabagina's attempt to rescue 1800 refugees during the 1994 Rwanda genocide
the world needs more movies like this. Some stories must be told, told again and again and then retold again. Because we, in our pathetic self-centredness, have terrible, short attention spans. We forget what we should remember. I can sympathise with the Jewish fixation on the Holocaust - the call to "Never Forget". The conscience of the world is only kept alive by those who do not allow themselves to be blind, deaf and dumb. The authorities of this world - the UN, the leaders of nation states, the cultural elite, the intellectuals - cannot always be counted upon.
Joaquin Phoenix's journalist character puts it bluntly in the movie when asked by Paul, "How can anyone watch (the massacre) and not do anything?" - "People will say Oh That's Horrible! And go on eating their dinners." We who have been blessed undeservedly with times of comfort and peace, we who are rich in all things - can we be blamed for wanting to enjoy the luxury that has been accorded?
The answer cannot be to turn to a self-flagellating existence. We who live in the developed nations of the world should thank God everyday for the card that has been dealt us and THINK, really THINK about what the position of privilege means. If we let ourselves slip and forget that the world is larger than ourselves, we are complicit in the perpetuation of pain and suffering in the world. Sin makes the world go round....and round...and round in a spiral towards Judgment Day. Those who have much have a responsibility, and a calling to serve those who have little. Nothing else makes sense.
I am complicit. I have my part in the iniquities of this world. My hands are unclean and my heart is one that remains divided, part flesh and part stone. Only Christ in me gives me the hope that I will be able to face my God with something less than shame.
And I am ashamed when I am confronted with the big atrocities of Rwanda, Kosovo, Sarajevo....I am prone to bliossful ignorance even to the smaller atrocities in my own comfortable Singaporean society. Even scarier to confront: if I cannot even care for someone sitting next to me in church, will I be found wanting when the stakes for caring become higher? WIll I find myself as heroic as Rusesabagina?
My works are filthy rags - no merit do I bring.
When Rusesabagina tells the refugees to call up any of their overseas friends for help. he urges them with striking words, "we must shame them. You must make them see if they forget you, if they let your hand go, you will die." A million Rwandese died - and it is a shameful thing that today, the average Singaporean may not be able to tell you there was a Rwanda genocide or that it was as recent as 10 years ago. As it is, many barely remember there was something called the Holocaust. A typical student answer, "Because it was not in my textbook. Because my teacher said don't need to study it. It was not tested." An adult might answer,"Because I got bigger things to worry about. There are things closer to home to worry about."
A time has come for all of us to be heroes unto each other. We have been living in the End times for as long as we remember, how fitting if we make our last stand something worthy of praise. The time for heroes has always been Now. If we have not Love, we are nothing.
If our lives were made into movies, when the lights come up, will we find ourselves moved? will it be a movie we are willing to watch? Or would our movies be one sick, bland reminder of the countless crap movies that churn out of the Hollywood machine - all sound and fury, mildly amusing, possibly entertaining, ultimately not worth remembering?
We do not all need to become missionaries or political activists for Rwanda. But we can start by caring for the needs of the people next to us...and perhaps allow ourselves to dream big enough to help bigger and bigger groups of people, bigger and bigger causes. We can simply start to take an interest in what is happening in our backyard, around the world and make ourselves care.
Stake your life on something more than owning the latest toy. Fight for something more than the latest promotion. Make meaning. Show Love. Tell the Truth. Do not be ashamed to do good and stand up for something nobler. And never forget that the fight is always about the person next to you and the God who made you both. Everything else is a chasing of the wind.
to check out! Interview with Director of Hotel Rwanda and Paul Rusesabagina himself
the world needs more movies like this. Some stories must be told, told again and again and then retold again. Because we, in our pathetic self-centredness, have terrible, short attention spans. We forget what we should remember. I can sympathise with the Jewish fixation on the Holocaust - the call to "Never Forget". The conscience of the world is only kept alive by those who do not allow themselves to be blind, deaf and dumb. The authorities of this world - the UN, the leaders of nation states, the cultural elite, the intellectuals - cannot always be counted upon.
Joaquin Phoenix's journalist character puts it bluntly in the movie when asked by Paul, "How can anyone watch (the massacre) and not do anything?" - "People will say Oh That's Horrible! And go on eating their dinners." We who have been blessed undeservedly with times of comfort and peace, we who are rich in all things - can we be blamed for wanting to enjoy the luxury that has been accorded?
The answer cannot be to turn to a self-flagellating existence. We who live in the developed nations of the world should thank God everyday for the card that has been dealt us and THINK, really THINK about what the position of privilege means. If we let ourselves slip and forget that the world is larger than ourselves, we are complicit in the perpetuation of pain and suffering in the world. Sin makes the world go round....and round...and round in a spiral towards Judgment Day. Those who have much have a responsibility, and a calling to serve those who have little. Nothing else makes sense.
I am complicit. I have my part in the iniquities of this world. My hands are unclean and my heart is one that remains divided, part flesh and part stone. Only Christ in me gives me the hope that I will be able to face my God with something less than shame.
And I am ashamed when I am confronted with the big atrocities of Rwanda, Kosovo, Sarajevo....I am prone to bliossful ignorance even to the smaller atrocities in my own comfortable Singaporean society. Even scarier to confront: if I cannot even care for someone sitting next to me in church, will I be found wanting when the stakes for caring become higher? WIll I find myself as heroic as Rusesabagina?
My works are filthy rags - no merit do I bring.
When Rusesabagina tells the refugees to call up any of their overseas friends for help. he urges them with striking words, "we must shame them. You must make them see if they forget you, if they let your hand go, you will die." A million Rwandese died - and it is a shameful thing that today, the average Singaporean may not be able to tell you there was a Rwanda genocide or that it was as recent as 10 years ago. As it is, many barely remember there was something called the Holocaust. A typical student answer, "Because it was not in my textbook. Because my teacher said don't need to study it. It was not tested." An adult might answer,"Because I got bigger things to worry about. There are things closer to home to worry about."
A time has come for all of us to be heroes unto each other. We have been living in the End times for as long as we remember, how fitting if we make our last stand something worthy of praise. The time for heroes has always been Now. If we have not Love, we are nothing.
If our lives were made into movies, when the lights come up, will we find ourselves moved? will it be a movie we are willing to watch? Or would our movies be one sick, bland reminder of the countless crap movies that churn out of the Hollywood machine - all sound and fury, mildly amusing, possibly entertaining, ultimately not worth remembering?
We do not all need to become missionaries or political activists for Rwanda. But we can start by caring for the needs of the people next to us...and perhaps allow ourselves to dream big enough to help bigger and bigger groups of people, bigger and bigger causes. We can simply start to take an interest in what is happening in our backyard, around the world and make ourselves care.
Stake your life on something more than owning the latest toy. Fight for something more than the latest promotion. Make meaning. Show Love. Tell the Truth. Do not be ashamed to do good and stand up for something nobler. And never forget that the fight is always about the person next to you and the God who made you both. Everything else is a chasing of the wind.
to check out! Interview with Director of Hotel Rwanda and Paul Rusesabagina himself
Tuesday, February 08, 2005
The Art of the Start
Have just finished reading Guy Kawasaki's fabulous new book called The Art of the Start. For the uninitiated (and I was, before I picked up the book), Guy Kawasaki is a managing director of Garage Technology Ventures, an early-stage venture capital firm and a columnist for Forbes.com. Previously, he was an Apple Fellow at Apple Computer, Inc. where he was one of the individuals responsible for the success of the Macintosh computer.
The book is a killer read, punchy level-headed advice and very humourous. To quote the man himself: "This book is a weapon of mass construction. My goal was to provide the definitive guide for anyone starting anything...The book is as relevant for two guys in a garage starting the next Google as social activists trying to save the world. GIST: cuts through the theoretical crap, theories and gets down to the real-world tactics of pitching, positioning, branding, recruiting, bootstrapping, and rainmaking."
ANYHOW, even if books about starting up cool stuff is not your cup of tea, here is his infamous Palo Alto High School baccalaureate speech (PDF: 76KB). It has cost parents thousands of dollars, so read it at your own risk. Very funny stuff....
"Speaking to you today marks a milestone in my life. I am 40 years old. 22 years ago, when I was in your seat, I never, ever thought I would be 40 years old.
The implications of being your speaker frightens me. For one thing, when a 40 year old geezer spoke at my baccalaureate ceremony, he was about the last person I’d believe. I have no intention of giving you the boring speech that you are dreading. This speech will be short, sweet, and not boring.
I am going to talk about hindsights today. Hindsights that I’ve accumulated in the 20 years from where you are to where I am. Don’t blindly believe me. Don’t take what I say as “truth.” Just listen. Perhaps my experience can help you out a tiny bit...."
The book is a killer read, punchy level-headed advice and very humourous. To quote the man himself: "This book is a weapon of mass construction. My goal was to provide the definitive guide for anyone starting anything...The book is as relevant for two guys in a garage starting the next Google as social activists trying to save the world. GIST: cuts through the theoretical crap, theories and gets down to the real-world tactics of pitching, positioning, branding, recruiting, bootstrapping, and rainmaking."
ANYHOW, even if books about starting up cool stuff is not your cup of tea, here is his infamous Palo Alto High School baccalaureate speech (PDF: 76KB). It has cost parents thousands of dollars, so read it at your own risk. Very funny stuff....
"Speaking to you today marks a milestone in my life. I am 40 years old. 22 years ago, when I was in your seat, I never, ever thought I would be 40 years old.
The implications of being your speaker frightens me. For one thing, when a 40 year old geezer spoke at my baccalaureate ceremony, he was about the last person I’d believe. I have no intention of giving you the boring speech that you are dreading. This speech will be short, sweet, and not boring.
I am going to talk about hindsights today. Hindsights that I’ve accumulated in the 20 years from where you are to where I am. Don’t blindly believe me. Don’t take what I say as “truth.” Just listen. Perhaps my experience can help you out a tiny bit...."
Sunday, February 06, 2005
Harry Potter and the Models for Causes
harry potter picture in honour of the countdown towards the latest HP book in July. It's my take on poor Harry weeping about his sad little life post events from last book - no parents, no real family, no godfather and now, the threat of a fight to the death with old Voldemort. Gosh, its almost Job-ian.
was at borders today and saw the promotional posters asking everybody to pre-order the latest harry potter installment. funny part was that about ten steps away was the table full of old stock of "Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix" going for a super slashed down price of $7.95 (U.P. $40)
Heh. i think dont need to preorder lah....the bookstores sure over order. :)
at night had presentation rehearsal with youth group people.....brrrr this sat is the big final presentation in front of the big shot Ministers. nervous or what.
found out my workgroup chairman was an ex-model, another co chair was thinking of investing in modelling agencies, and they found out i was keen on developing my biz into a social enterprise.
so we ended up joking about what kind of social enterprise a model agency could possibly go into. "Models For Causes" - the NGO that looks out for the ugly losers in society and gives them deportment lessons? the NGO that campaigns for everybody to eat and drink as little as possible for sustainability of the Earth (and keeping that weight down)?
haha. Ok. shall stop being evil. :) models are people with feelings too okay? (yet another cause for "Models WIth Causes" to campaign!)
their tagline should be "Don't hate us because we are beautiful." hee
was at borders today and saw the promotional posters asking everybody to pre-order the latest harry potter installment. funny part was that about ten steps away was the table full of old stock of "Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix" going for a super slashed down price of $7.95 (U.P. $40)
Heh. i think dont need to preorder lah....the bookstores sure over order. :)
at night had presentation rehearsal with youth group people.....brrrr this sat is the big final presentation in front of the big shot Ministers. nervous or what.
found out my workgroup chairman was an ex-model, another co chair was thinking of investing in modelling agencies, and they found out i was keen on developing my biz into a social enterprise.
so we ended up joking about what kind of social enterprise a model agency could possibly go into. "Models For Causes" - the NGO that looks out for the ugly losers in society and gives them deportment lessons? the NGO that campaigns for everybody to eat and drink as little as possible for sustainability of the Earth (and keeping that weight down)?
haha. Ok. shall stop being evil. :) models are people with feelings too okay? (yet another cause for "Models WIth Causes" to campaign!)
their tagline should be "Don't hate us because we are beautiful." hee
Friday, February 04, 2005
just had to blog this before i zzzzed
was typing out last blog when nosy father suddenly stands behind me CLEARLY trying to see what I am writing, while asking questions about how people start blogs, are they fro public consumption etc leading questions. I quickly open more windows to cover up blog page.
Then:
Pap: what you blogging about?
Me: It's private. Not for you to read
Pap: i thought blog is for everyone to
see on the internet.
Me: You tell the address to those
who you dont mind reading. So
you cannot.
Dad promptlly smacks me with a loud "HaiYAH!" of disgruntlement and walks off to the telly. :)
heehee. poor dad. he must be thinking "pay the girl's university education also dowan to let me see her blog. wah lau, so much money for what." He never got to read my writings or see most of my sketches either....cos i dunno...some stuff is just too odd to expose to parents.
so anyway, in dedication to my dear pap who cannot read the blog...i shall at least feature a fetching picture of him looking like a Triad Hoodlum wannabe.
Love ya pap but you are soooooo not reading my stuff! heehee. childish me.
Then:
Pap: what you blogging about?
Me: It's private. Not for you to read
Pap: i thought blog is for everyone to
see on the internet.
Me: You tell the address to those
who you dont mind reading. So
you cannot.
Dad promptlly smacks me with a loud "HaiYAH!" of disgruntlement and walks off to the telly. :)
heehee. poor dad. he must be thinking "pay the girl's university education also dowan to let me see her blog. wah lau, so much money for what." He never got to read my writings or see most of my sketches either....cos i dunno...some stuff is just too odd to expose to parents.
so anyway, in dedication to my dear pap who cannot read the blog...i shall at least feature a fetching picture of him looking like a Triad Hoodlum wannabe.
Love ya pap but you are soooooo not reading my stuff! heehee. childish me.
seed of a good idea part 2 of 5 billion
for eye candy, am blogging a totally irrelevant sketch i did at a draggy meeting and later photoshopped.... potential graphic novel panel? WIll probably only finally get that graphic novel done when I am 65. :)
met with Mothman, Da Dome of Chrome and FunkMunk to run "seed of a good idea" past them. I am quite the un-detailed about business and God has been kind enough to let me play masak masak for 3 years at the School of Thought.
I never saw myself as an entrepreneur because i dont think in business plans....I think in ideals held together by 40% common sense, 10% Judgment Day induced fearlessness and 50% liberal slatherings of faith.
well the way things are going, and considering this is something i have always asked God to help me do .....well, i guess my time of masak masak is over.
Time to bite da bullet and draft out my first proper grown-up business plan, scary numbers and gasp! 5 year projections and all. brrrrrrrr. corporate lingo and me = oil and water. I HATE powerpoint, HATE writing reports. but the 6 months in youth workgroup has trained me to get over that....when you wanna change the system you gotta learn to play by its rules and use its toys.
if the dream is worth the fight, well its worth reading a couple of boring finance and business books if it helps make the dream REAL.
and btw, FunkMunk, in answer to the 2 trivia questions, I googled and:
1) Yes, Big Bird's dog is BARKLEY. WHOO HOO! I remembered it! Info direct from the Kermitage.
2) Yes, you are right. the world's biggest dog indeed is a mastiff. He is called "Hercules" and he has a "38-inch neck and is 282 pounds of pure dog" scary. BIggest bunny is only 16kg. heh.
sleepy time. zzzz
met with Mothman, Da Dome of Chrome and FunkMunk to run "seed of a good idea" past them. I am quite the un-detailed about business and God has been kind enough to let me play masak masak for 3 years at the School of Thought.
I never saw myself as an entrepreneur because i dont think in business plans....I think in ideals held together by 40% common sense, 10% Judgment Day induced fearlessness and 50% liberal slatherings of faith.
well the way things are going, and considering this is something i have always asked God to help me do .....well, i guess my time of masak masak is over.
Time to bite da bullet and draft out my first proper grown-up business plan, scary numbers and gasp! 5 year projections and all. brrrrrrrr. corporate lingo and me = oil and water. I HATE powerpoint, HATE writing reports. but the 6 months in youth workgroup has trained me to get over that....when you wanna change the system you gotta learn to play by its rules and use its toys.
if the dream is worth the fight, well its worth reading a couple of boring finance and business books if it helps make the dream REAL.
and btw, FunkMunk, in answer to the 2 trivia questions, I googled and:
1) Yes, Big Bird's dog is BARKLEY. WHOO HOO! I remembered it! Info direct from the Kermitage.
2) Yes, you are right. the world's biggest dog indeed is a mastiff. He is called "Hercules" and he has a "38-inch neck and is 282 pounds of pure dog" scary. BIggest bunny is only 16kg. heh.
sleepy time. zzzz
Thursday, February 03, 2005
CNY memories
CNY 2004: was up in China with family. Parents thought it would be great to have reunion in the Mother Land where my brother could fly down from Evil Western Civilisation known as New York and meet us.
China trip can be summed up for me as : Harbin = borders of Siberia, me and parents' friends only. NO FUN AT ALL. Shanghai = milder weather, more shopping, siblings around, FUN.
that's me in one of the many noodle shops in Shanghai....when you holiday with parents, 90% of fun-time = eating.
CNY next week! ah the return of the evil pineapple tarts. my sole weakness at every tidbit tray. i can resist bak kwa and kueh lapis but i quake in fear at the sight of the little mounds of evil pineapple goodness.
when i was pre-schooling and my grandma was still healthy and nimble, i used to make pineapple tarts in her big open kitchen. She used to stay in a charmingly old house along Hooper Road.
The kind which still had an outdoor cement washing area, big wooden stairs, and a timber second floor which came with a peephole so one could spy on what people in the kitchen below were up to.
We made old-fashioned open pineapple tarts, with properly home-stewed pineapple jam. I remember the kitchen would smell of pineapple, cloves and caramelised sugar.
Me and my brother would be in charge of cutting the dough circles, putting a teaspoon of jam and best of all, making little faces on the tarts with teeny bits of dough. That's a trademark - any pineapple tart from my grandma's kitchen had personality.
Depending on how thick, thin or uniformly we rolled out the weeny little dough bits between childish fingers, our tarts could be slyly sneering, beaming beatifically or blandly stoning out.
These days, pineapple tarts are churned out by factories. If they are home-made, the jam is from convenient pre-made packs. My grandma has since stopped baking, since she became partially blind and lost some mobility. My grandma's two tiered tidbit cart that used to be filled with homemade CNY goodies has for many years been filled with store-bought goodies instead.
And every pineapple tart I meet now, delicious as they are, can never match the taste of my childhood tarts with their lopsided buttery smiles and mismatched nobbly eyes.
if i have kids, i will resurrect the tradition of having little inexpert hands make faces for proper home-made tarts. someday, pineapple tarts will smile again. :)
nostalgia. smells like cloves.
China trip can be summed up for me as : Harbin = borders of Siberia, me and parents' friends only. NO FUN AT ALL. Shanghai = milder weather, more shopping, siblings around, FUN.
that's me in one of the many noodle shops in Shanghai....when you holiday with parents, 90% of fun-time = eating.
CNY next week! ah the return of the evil pineapple tarts. my sole weakness at every tidbit tray. i can resist bak kwa and kueh lapis but i quake in fear at the sight of the little mounds of evil pineapple goodness.
when i was pre-schooling and my grandma was still healthy and nimble, i used to make pineapple tarts in her big open kitchen. She used to stay in a charmingly old house along Hooper Road.
The kind which still had an outdoor cement washing area, big wooden stairs, and a timber second floor which came with a peephole so one could spy on what people in the kitchen below were up to.
We made old-fashioned open pineapple tarts, with properly home-stewed pineapple jam. I remember the kitchen would smell of pineapple, cloves and caramelised sugar.
Me and my brother would be in charge of cutting the dough circles, putting a teaspoon of jam and best of all, making little faces on the tarts with teeny bits of dough. That's a trademark - any pineapple tart from my grandma's kitchen had personality.
Depending on how thick, thin or uniformly we rolled out the weeny little dough bits between childish fingers, our tarts could be slyly sneering, beaming beatifically or blandly stoning out.
These days, pineapple tarts are churned out by factories. If they are home-made, the jam is from convenient pre-made packs. My grandma has since stopped baking, since she became partially blind and lost some mobility. My grandma's two tiered tidbit cart that used to be filled with homemade CNY goodies has for many years been filled with store-bought goodies instead.
And every pineapple tart I meet now, delicious as they are, can never match the taste of my childhood tarts with their lopsided buttery smiles and mismatched nobbly eyes.
if i have kids, i will resurrect the tradition of having little inexpert hands make faces for proper home-made tarts. someday, pineapple tarts will smile again. :)
nostalgia. smells like cloves.
Wednesday, February 02, 2005
Freedom of Speech...BAH!
Argh! It's times like this where I throughly agree that freedom of speech in the States has become such an excuse for blatant irresponsible abusive crap! Grrrrrr...... catch breath.
On January 21st, 2005, an offensive song/skit containing openly derogatory and racist overtones reached millions of listeners in New York City when it was broadcast on Hot 97's "Miss Jones in the Morning" radio show. While the radio show has a history of recording and playing such spoofs on a regular basis, the infamous "Tsunami Song" mocks not only the victims of the unfortunate recent natural disaster in Southeast Asia, but also all members of the Asian race in general with the racial slurs "chink" and "Chinamen."
Choice lyrics included:
- "All at once you could hear the screaming ch*nks and no one was safe from the wave there were africans drowning, little chinamen swept away you could hear god laughing, 'swim you b*tches swim'"
- "So now you're screwed, it's the Tsunami, you better run or kiss your ass away, go find your mommy, I just saw her float by, a tree went through her head, and now the children will be sold to child slavery..."
Just prior to the broadcasting of this inflammatory and extremely distasteful audio, the airwaves erupted into hostility when the popular morning show's hosts argued about playing the "Tsunami Song." The on-air quarrel started when Miss Info openly voiced that she had no involvement with either the production or publication of the song, as she personally found the views expressed in the song offensive. The show's other two co-hosts Miss Jones and Todd Lynn then launched into an abusive tirade against Miss Info for her lack of co-operation. At one point, Todd Lynn stated that he was going to start shooting Asians while Miss Jones told Info she's only complaining because "you feel superior, probably because you're Asian."
Sign the petition and tell off the little weasels! >: (
On January 21st, 2005, an offensive song/skit containing openly derogatory and racist overtones reached millions of listeners in New York City when it was broadcast on Hot 97's "Miss Jones in the Morning" radio show. While the radio show has a history of recording and playing such spoofs on a regular basis, the infamous "Tsunami Song" mocks not only the victims of the unfortunate recent natural disaster in Southeast Asia, but also all members of the Asian race in general with the racial slurs "chink" and "Chinamen."
Choice lyrics included:
- "All at once you could hear the screaming ch*nks and no one was safe from the wave there were africans drowning, little chinamen swept away you could hear god laughing, 'swim you b*tches swim'"
- "So now you're screwed, it's the Tsunami, you better run or kiss your ass away, go find your mommy, I just saw her float by, a tree went through her head, and now the children will be sold to child slavery..."
Just prior to the broadcasting of this inflammatory and extremely distasteful audio, the airwaves erupted into hostility when the popular morning show's hosts argued about playing the "Tsunami Song." The on-air quarrel started when Miss Info openly voiced that she had no involvement with either the production or publication of the song, as she personally found the views expressed in the song offensive. The show's other two co-hosts Miss Jones and Todd Lynn then launched into an abusive tirade against Miss Info for her lack of co-operation. At one point, Todd Lynn stated that he was going to start shooting Asians while Miss Jones told Info she's only complaining because "you feel superior, probably because you're Asian."
Sign the petition and tell off the little weasels! >: (
comfort my people
Mrs Scrabs sent me this bit from London Institue of Contemporary Christianity
"He was crushed for our iniquities and by his wounds we are healed. We all, like sheep, have gone astray and the Lord has laid on him the iniquity of us all."
Isaiah 53:5-6
"Because Auschwitz was liberated 60 years ago last week, we are asked to remember how an urbane, civilised, Christian, European nation murdered intentionally, with planned and systematic efficiency, millions upon millions of men women and children. It is a haunting memory that raises many tormenting questions.
...That failure and other 20th century failures that have shamed Christians (Rwanda, racism in the USA, apartheid in South Africa) have made our witness that much more difficult. To ensure that such things are not repeated, we, the church of Christ, have a deep responsibility to make our voice heard and to stand up to inhumanity and racism from any kind of power, including the state.
Above all, we need a profound understanding of the gospel. At the cross Jesus was crushed for our iniquities and there is no evil that humans can do that cannot be forgiven. However, those who have been forgiven in Christ are called to challenge wickedness in his name, and that can be very costly as those who did challenge Hitler found. "
I believe strongly that Christians have to learn to tell it like it is, without fear of reprisal or threat. If we are called to uphold Truth and Love, and already made to understand that entails a natural life of suffering, then we must be prepared to step up to the plate when the time comes.
But I always wonder though how long i will allow myself to hesitate before doing what i clearly know is the right thing to do. Sometimes, even in simple circumstances where I see someone doing something wrong in public (like eating openly on the bus!), I stew in one corner for a couple of minutes while contemplating whether to tell the person off. Often, by the time I am done thinking, the moment to tell the person off has passed me by. It's mostly stupid trivial incidents but its my behaviour in there that makes me less quick to say with confidence that I will uphold God's righteousness bravely and fearlessly.
There is a famous quote by a German pastor called Martin Niemoller who spoke regretfully of his compliance with the status quo and lack of timely initiative:
"In Germany they came first for the Communists, and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a Communist. Then they came for the Jews, and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a Jew. Then they came for the trade unionists, and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a trade unionist. Then they came for the Catholics, and I didn't speak up because I was a Protestant. Then they came for me, and by that time no one was left to speak up."
(if you are wondering... yes...that's yet another product placement picture from Naruto. I love that little throwaway scene. Am such a sucker for scenes of father figures comforting tiny kids. the sad yet hopeful mood seemed fitting.)
"He was crushed for our iniquities and by his wounds we are healed. We all, like sheep, have gone astray and the Lord has laid on him the iniquity of us all."
Isaiah 53:5-6
"Because Auschwitz was liberated 60 years ago last week, we are asked to remember how an urbane, civilised, Christian, European nation murdered intentionally, with planned and systematic efficiency, millions upon millions of men women and children. It is a haunting memory that raises many tormenting questions.
...That failure and other 20th century failures that have shamed Christians (Rwanda, racism in the USA, apartheid in South Africa) have made our witness that much more difficult. To ensure that such things are not repeated, we, the church of Christ, have a deep responsibility to make our voice heard and to stand up to inhumanity and racism from any kind of power, including the state.
Above all, we need a profound understanding of the gospel. At the cross Jesus was crushed for our iniquities and there is no evil that humans can do that cannot be forgiven. However, those who have been forgiven in Christ are called to challenge wickedness in his name, and that can be very costly as those who did challenge Hitler found. "
I believe strongly that Christians have to learn to tell it like it is, without fear of reprisal or threat. If we are called to uphold Truth and Love, and already made to understand that entails a natural life of suffering, then we must be prepared to step up to the plate when the time comes.
But I always wonder though how long i will allow myself to hesitate before doing what i clearly know is the right thing to do. Sometimes, even in simple circumstances where I see someone doing something wrong in public (like eating openly on the bus!), I stew in one corner for a couple of minutes while contemplating whether to tell the person off. Often, by the time I am done thinking, the moment to tell the person off has passed me by. It's mostly stupid trivial incidents but its my behaviour in there that makes me less quick to say with confidence that I will uphold God's righteousness bravely and fearlessly.
There is a famous quote by a German pastor called Martin Niemoller who spoke regretfully of his compliance with the status quo and lack of timely initiative:
"In Germany they came first for the Communists, and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a Communist. Then they came for the Jews, and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a Jew. Then they came for the trade unionists, and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a trade unionist. Then they came for the Catholics, and I didn't speak up because I was a Protestant. Then they came for me, and by that time no one was left to speak up."
(if you are wondering... yes...that's yet another product placement picture from Naruto. I love that little throwaway scene. Am such a sucker for scenes of father figures comforting tiny kids. the sad yet hopeful mood seemed fitting.)
Valentine's Day Looms : Eternal Sunshine Revisited
Eternal Sunshine, Before Sunrise and 2046 easily make up the best 3 movies I have seen that capture some elusive truth about human romance. Eternal Sunshine gets its title from a stanza in a reallyreally long Alexander Pope poem:
"How happy is the blameless Vestal’s lot!
The world forgetting, by the world forgot.
Eternal sun-shine of the spotless mind!
Each pray’r accepted, and each wish resigned."
By sheer coincidence this week, I came across two Christian-ish articles about Eternal Sunshine: one was in my Eagles newsletter, the other was on the James Bowman movie review site.
James Bowman's excellent review said something quite profound and on the money about why I liked the movie so much. At that time I wasn't sure how to put it in words, but he does it quite nicely:
" But Eternal Sunshine is not really science fiction, an exploration of possible worlds. It is, rather, a metaphor for our own world. Its most moving moment comes at the end when the hero and heroine with their freshly washed brains meet again as strangers, fall in love again and suddenly, unexpectedly discover what has been done to them — what they themselves have chosen to do.....
...In this instant, therefore, they are given a double perspective on their lives. At one and the same time they can see each other as they did when love was new and when love had become swamped with anger, petty annoyances and the hurtful recriminations these things give rise to. The result is a revelation. ...
...All the science of this film’s science fiction is really there just to allow Joel and Clementine this moment of insight which, had we sufficient moral imagination, we all might share without any help from Dr. Mierzwiak and his black arts. In that instant the lovers see their lives sub specie aeternitatis — all at once, as we must suppose God sees them, rather than day by day, year by year, as we are forced to live them — and the juxtaposition of hope and love with bitterness and distrust makes it easy for them to choose the former over the later. "
wow. Isn't it strange to contemplate God's omniscience and omnipresence through the eyes of this movie?...that God views us in that "double perspective". He sees the whole reel of movie all at once, while we are forced to see it frame by frame, in sequence.
++++++++++++"...but what's it all about, alfie?"++++++++++++++++++++++
It kinda made me think of this: This coming Valentine's Day will mark my 28th as a single gal, my 6th as a single Christian.
I used to think romance came in age milestones: "by 16, i will get attached", "by 18".."by 21"..."when i start work". Somehow things in the romantic department never happened the way I wished. Definitely at times, it has been honestly, a brutally hard thing to swallow. In younger days, I was consumed with wondering if there was something so terribly wrong with me - was i a mutant of some sort? was i wierd? was i good enough? was i pretty enough? Exhausting and pointless circles of question upon question! Even today, some of the old insecure questions flit around like little annoying gnats, waiting to give a bite here and there when I least expect.
But these days, I have made my peace with my perennial singlehood - it has been an intrinsic part of who I am. My years of singleness have marked and made me as surely as the years of relationships have marked and made my attached friends. For better or for worse, I am who I am today because God has seen fit to keep me single for so long.
WIthout agenda or hesitation, I will say my long journey through singlehood has been a good thing. GIven the choice in the movie, I don't think I ever want to erase away the fact of my singleness or memories of past incidents. Neither bring me pain nore embarrassment anymore. Honestly, I am very sure I would have made far stupider, scarier choices if I ran things my way. I was a stupid, foolish girl capable of way too much nonsense to even think anything wise would have come out of being attached earlier. There is much I have come to understand and empathise with because of encountering loneliness and need.
One of the best lessons singlehood taught me was the real meaning of a life of Love. It was not going to be found in hankering after a sugar candy dream built on a thousand fleeting fantasies. It was going to be found in the everyday, in the ordinary, in the simple acts of service to others. It was going to be found in learning to love and honour all people in my life, regardless of my affection for them
or their affection for me. Tough stuff which I have yet to learn completely.
But it's amazing to consider God's providence in my life. I am loved far deeper by Someone more incredible than I could imagine. He gave me the heavens and the earth and calls me His own. It sounds like so much Christian cliche but oh, how sweet it is to realise for oneself it is the Truth.
And In that light, whatever love I can offer to whatever mysterious possible man in the future must look so pale, fragile and flimsy. I must understand too that Mystery Future Man's love for me will be equally fragile and tenuous, no matter how much I want it to be as never-changing and eternal as God's. How can I hold any man to that standard of love when I can hardly do any better?
I can only pray for grace to lead me all the days of my life, in all its possibilities - single or married.
When I look back at the entire reel of my life as far, with sufferings juxtaposed with the later joys... I can only say Dear God, help me learn to always live in that eternal sunshine of a mind rendered spotless by Christ!
"How happy is the blameless Vestal’s lot!
The world forgetting, by the world forgot.
Eternal sun-shine of the spotless mind!
Each pray’r accepted, and each wish resigned."
By sheer coincidence this week, I came across two Christian-ish articles about Eternal Sunshine: one was in my Eagles newsletter, the other was on the James Bowman movie review site.
James Bowman's excellent review said something quite profound and on the money about why I liked the movie so much. At that time I wasn't sure how to put it in words, but he does it quite nicely:
" But Eternal Sunshine is not really science fiction, an exploration of possible worlds. It is, rather, a metaphor for our own world. Its most moving moment comes at the end when the hero and heroine with their freshly washed brains meet again as strangers, fall in love again and suddenly, unexpectedly discover what has been done to them — what they themselves have chosen to do.....
...In this instant, therefore, they are given a double perspective on their lives. At one and the same time they can see each other as they did when love was new and when love had become swamped with anger, petty annoyances and the hurtful recriminations these things give rise to. The result is a revelation. ...
...All the science of this film’s science fiction is really there just to allow Joel and Clementine this moment of insight which, had we sufficient moral imagination, we all might share without any help from Dr. Mierzwiak and his black arts. In that instant the lovers see their lives sub specie aeternitatis — all at once, as we must suppose God sees them, rather than day by day, year by year, as we are forced to live them — and the juxtaposition of hope and love with bitterness and distrust makes it easy for them to choose the former over the later. "
wow. Isn't it strange to contemplate God's omniscience and omnipresence through the eyes of this movie?...that God views us in that "double perspective". He sees the whole reel of movie all at once, while we are forced to see it frame by frame, in sequence.
++++++++++++"...but what's it all about, alfie?"++++++++++++++++++++++
It kinda made me think of this: This coming Valentine's Day will mark my 28th as a single gal, my 6th as a single Christian.
I used to think romance came in age milestones: "by 16, i will get attached", "by 18".."by 21"..."when i start work". Somehow things in the romantic department never happened the way I wished. Definitely at times, it has been honestly, a brutally hard thing to swallow. In younger days, I was consumed with wondering if there was something so terribly wrong with me - was i a mutant of some sort? was i wierd? was i good enough? was i pretty enough? Exhausting and pointless circles of question upon question! Even today, some of the old insecure questions flit around like little annoying gnats, waiting to give a bite here and there when I least expect.
But these days, I have made my peace with my perennial singlehood - it has been an intrinsic part of who I am. My years of singleness have marked and made me as surely as the years of relationships have marked and made my attached friends. For better or for worse, I am who I am today because God has seen fit to keep me single for so long.
WIthout agenda or hesitation, I will say my long journey through singlehood has been a good thing. GIven the choice in the movie, I don't think I ever want to erase away the fact of my singleness or memories of past incidents. Neither bring me pain nore embarrassment anymore. Honestly, I am very sure I would have made far stupider, scarier choices if I ran things my way. I was a stupid, foolish girl capable of way too much nonsense to even think anything wise would have come out of being attached earlier. There is much I have come to understand and empathise with because of encountering loneliness and need.
One of the best lessons singlehood taught me was the real meaning of a life of Love. It was not going to be found in hankering after a sugar candy dream built on a thousand fleeting fantasies. It was going to be found in the everyday, in the ordinary, in the simple acts of service to others. It was going to be found in learning to love and honour all people in my life, regardless of my affection for them
or their affection for me. Tough stuff which I have yet to learn completely.
But it's amazing to consider God's providence in my life. I am loved far deeper by Someone more incredible than I could imagine. He gave me the heavens and the earth and calls me His own. It sounds like so much Christian cliche but oh, how sweet it is to realise for oneself it is the Truth.
And In that light, whatever love I can offer to whatever mysterious possible man in the future must look so pale, fragile and flimsy. I must understand too that Mystery Future Man's love for me will be equally fragile and tenuous, no matter how much I want it to be as never-changing and eternal as God's. How can I hold any man to that standard of love when I can hardly do any better?
I can only pray for grace to lead me all the days of my life, in all its possibilities - single or married.
When I look back at the entire reel of my life as far, with sufferings juxtaposed with the later joys... I can only say Dear God, help me learn to always live in that eternal sunshine of a mind rendered spotless by Christ!
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