Eternal Sunshine, Before Sunrise and 2046 easily make up the best 3 movies I have seen that capture some elusive truth about human romance. Eternal Sunshine gets its title from a stanza in a reallyreally long Alexander Pope poem:
"How happy is the blameless Vestal’s lot!
The world forgetting, by the world forgot.
Eternal sun-shine of the spotless mind!
Each pray’r accepted, and each wish resigned."
By sheer coincidence this week, I came across two Christian-ish articles about Eternal Sunshine: one was in my Eagles newsletter, the other was on the James Bowman movie review site.
James Bowman's excellent review said something quite profound and on the money about why I liked the movie so much. At that time I wasn't sure how to put it in words, but he does it quite nicely:
" But Eternal Sunshine is not really science fiction, an exploration of possible worlds. It is, rather, a metaphor for our own world. Its most moving moment comes at the end when the hero and heroine with their freshly washed brains meet again as strangers, fall in love again and suddenly, unexpectedly discover what has been done to them — what they themselves have chosen to do.....
...In this instant, therefore, they are given a double perspective on their lives. At one and the same time they can see each other as they did when love was new and when love had become swamped with anger, petty annoyances and the hurtful recriminations these things give rise to. The result is a revelation. ...
...All the science of this film’s science fiction is really there just to allow Joel and Clementine this moment of insight which, had we sufficient moral imagination, we all might share without any help from Dr. Mierzwiak and his black arts. In that instant the lovers see their lives sub specie aeternitatis — all at once, as we must suppose God sees them, rather than day by day, year by year, as we are forced to live them — and the juxtaposition of hope and love with bitterness and distrust makes it easy for them to choose the former over the later. "
wow. Isn't it strange to contemplate God's omniscience and omnipresence through the eyes of this movie?...that God views us in that "double perspective". He sees the whole reel of movie all at once, while we are forced to see it frame by frame, in sequence.
++++++++++++"...but what's it all about, alfie?"++++++++++++++++++++++
It kinda made me think of this: This coming Valentine's Day will mark my 28th as a single gal, my 6th as a single Christian.
I used to think romance came in age milestones: "by 16, i will get attached", "by 18".."by 21"..."when i start work". Somehow things in the romantic department never happened the way I wished. Definitely at times, it has been honestly, a brutally hard thing to swallow. In younger days, I was consumed with wondering if there was something so terribly wrong with me - was i a mutant of some sort? was i wierd? was i good enough? was i pretty enough? Exhausting and pointless circles of question upon question! Even today, some of the old insecure questions flit around like little annoying gnats, waiting to give a bite here and there when I least expect.
But these days, I have made my peace with my perennial singlehood - it has been an intrinsic part of who I am. My years of singleness have marked and made me as surely as the years of relationships have marked and made my attached friends. For better or for worse, I am who I am today because God has seen fit to keep me single for so long.
WIthout agenda or hesitation, I will say my long journey through singlehood has been a good thing. GIven the choice in the movie, I don't think I ever want to erase away the fact of my singleness or memories of past incidents. Neither bring me pain nore embarrassment anymore. Honestly, I am very sure I would have made far stupider, scarier choices if I ran things my way. I was a stupid, foolish girl capable of way too much nonsense to even think anything wise would have come out of being attached earlier. There is much I have come to understand and empathise with because of encountering loneliness and need.
One of the best lessons singlehood taught me was the real meaning of a life of Love. It was not going to be found in hankering after a sugar candy dream built on a thousand fleeting fantasies. It was going to be found in the everyday, in the ordinary, in the simple acts of service to others. It was going to be found in learning to love and honour all people in my life, regardless of my affection for them
or their affection for me. Tough stuff which I have yet to learn completely.
But it's amazing to consider God's providence in my life. I am loved far deeper by Someone more incredible than I could imagine. He gave me the heavens and the earth and calls me His own. It sounds like so much Christian cliche but oh, how sweet it is to realise for oneself it is the Truth.
And In that light, whatever love I can offer to whatever mysterious possible man in the future must look so pale, fragile and flimsy. I must understand too that Mystery Future Man's love for me will be equally fragile and tenuous, no matter how much I want it to be as never-changing and eternal as God's. How can I hold any man to that standard of love when I can hardly do any better?
I can only pray for grace to lead me all the days of my life, in all its possibilities - single or married.
When I look back at the entire reel of my life as far, with sufferings juxtaposed with the later joys... I can only say Dear God, help me learn to always live in that eternal sunshine of a mind rendered spotless by Christ!
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