You must be the Change you wish to see in the world

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Originally uploaded by neonangel.

"You must be the change you wish to see in the world" - Mahatma Gandhi

On my school walls, hangs four posters I designed in the vain hope of inspiring my kids. I love a good quote - beautifully crafted words, punched with the right attitude, stylishly delivered, served with chutzpah. Gandhi's quote is one of my favourites because it reminds me that change starts with one small decision in one small corner. This David in a dohti outlasted his Goliath colonial masters in a game of who blinks first.

The Tim Chester book (Good News For the Poor) I have been reading has come to a particularly challenging chapter. He pointed out that the Bible never focuses on the multitude of ways to evangelise or the number and type of social initiatives that churches ought to have. The Bible just focuses on mindsets and attitudes - it just demands that the Church lives in a godly loving manner as befitting their new identity as Kingdom of God citizens and priests. The Church changes the world by changing the culture - It becomes a society that hints at heaven...where widow and orphan is cared for; where riches are shared; where the poor are given due respect; where a King will eat with the Damned...

Paraphrasing Gandhi somewhat, we have to live changed lives if we want to see change in this world. But how do we do so knowing our human limitations?

I have been learning how much I need to change within myself since TissueAunty and TissueJunior (her son) started to clean my school last week.

They have been a great source of encouragement. Jnr. has been particularly cute: last week, he paused several times in his obsessive polishing of scuffmarks to remark gently in Chinese, "God is a mysterious God isn't he? Don't worry, we won't let you down. We will clean this place very beautifully." He even chided his mother for wanting to leave early for a doctor's appointment because they had not managed to deliver on their promise to turn my floors into The Mother Of All Clean Floors. (They eventually went for the appointment after many assurances from me that I was not going to get angry with them about a half-clean floor)

The diligence and dignity that they went about carrying out their work was really poignant and moving. They wanted so much to be recognised as good, worthy workers not pitiful charity cases. They wanted to be seen as fellow human beings, fellow worthy citizens.

I realised that very often when I gave to the poor I gave in a middle class way: Have some cash, have some food, but you will never be in my Social Circle. I realised my offers to throw cash at the problem, buy them clothes, or pay for their cab-fares was demeaning them some how. It's not wrong per se to donate to the poor but it does not really "Strengthen the Weak" in the long run.

Strengthening the Weak in terms of helping the poor, means praying for them, empowering them, giving them a voice, educating them, associating with them, eating with them, talking to them like normal human beings. - Basically not treating them like charity projects.

I am scared. I realise it was easy when Tissue Aunty was just in "charity project" stage where I had a safe comfort zone still. Now, I am in a discomforting zone in daylight, away from the fumes of the road, no longer privy to the option of walking away and feeling good about myself.

Caring for someone does not mean caring in spurts - just enough to make me feel generous; not enough to actually make a longterm difference.

Sitting next to her in church service, I was acutely aware that when she was temporarily homeless, she smelt unwashed and sour. Hearing her jovially invite me to come to her home for her son's birthday party, I was acutely aware of my hesitancy to say "Yes thank you!". Knowing that she wanted to come more often for service, I was acutely aware that I did not want to "hang out" with her that much or feel responsible for her every week.

I became acutely and suddenly aware of how I wanted to minister to the poor on my own terms: Please be a certain way, please don't ask me to be more involved in your life, please oh horrors, don't ask me to become your close friend!

There you go the not so glamourous truth about reaching out to the marginalised. Theorising passionately about noble ministering to the poor is all well and good. Practicing is the clincher that tests your pretty words and living-room convictions.

Verdict: What a shallow horror I can be! I want to be a far better better person than the one I was thinking those thoughts.

Am I discouraged or depressed at these new insights into my depravity?

No, thank God literally! :)

My hope of "Being the Change I wish to see in the world" does not lie in my twisted mind, black heart and reluctant will.

My hope lies in knowing God is working within and through me. While I remain in Him, He will strengthen my mind, lighten my heart and be the force behind my will to do all these new, scary things that He asks me to do.

As for now, I have PROFOUND new respect for my Saviour Christ who sat, related and supped with the underdogs of society.

I bet they smelt. I bet they could not speak properly. I bet they clamoured for him to come to their homes, to share their hospitality. I bet nobody else wanted to hang out with them.

He did it. He loved them and helped them see they were precious and worthy of fellowship.

I bet He washed their feet.

One day, I wanna be just like Him.

How sweet to know that He whispers across the heavens, barely audible through the ink and paper of the Bible, "Trust me...and you shall someday. Meanwhile trust, obey, love and wait."

May His Kingdom come and His will be done indeed. :)