I see 2 cardboard boxes in my lift lobby with makeshift signs declaring everybody in waterside condo should pitch in and help the tsunami victims. The signs' earnest home-made quality touch me.
I hear children and adults of all walks of life have been industriously lining up at the Red Cross to contribute money.
I hear of poor farmers in Thailand who have been giving up all their meagre livestock and food to feed the tsunami victims because they have to.
Everyone seems to be organising a collecting fund of some sort....universities, banks, NGOs, housewives.....a whole spontaneous network of charity has sprung up amazingly from a myriad of individuals.
God is doing a work in our hearts....and I pray for the day when this work will be realised fully.
May we never forget the need to continue to love our neighbour as He Loved us first.
This New Year may be starting on a somber note but it is one that is graced with a touch of hope and a sign of God's work to come.
Friday, December 31, 2004
Thursday, December 30, 2004
sober blog-dos and donts of donating for disaster relief?
realised my blog's recent entries very schizo - swinging between sober serious about tsunami crisis and usual stream of consciousness rubbish. odd.
read today's papers in morning,,..as more personal stories develop from the tsunami crisis, the more I get drawn in emotionally. I found the little paragraph about a 14 year old local Thai boy weeping aloud that he had lost his parents, his home and his family business particularly affecting. He had no idea where to begin or how to go on. How do you even understand that without being there?
Losing everything in Job-ean proportions and all this in the midst of a hell on earth of discoloured , bloated bodies hanging from treetops and the smell of death everywhere? The description of what it was like to walk through the devastated beaches in Straits Times was sobering....
have class shortly at 10am. Am guessing will end up talking about disaster again. It seems disrespectful not to. Speaking of which, am kinda glad I did not make noisy New Year plans this year. Reading about how Thailand and Malaysia have made 31 Dec a day of mourning instead of partying. Quiet new year eve would be good...time to reflect on God's truths about loving Him and loving our neighbour. Sigh. 2004's Nov and Dec have been real learning months.
Came across an interesting snippet online and was wondering whether I ought to give my 2nd hand clothes after all... I guess money is always good. If you are thinking of giving, go give right now. Don't sit on ass any more and think about it....it's just too unthinkable not to give anything.
"WHAT NOT TO DO:
Don't donate food, clothing or any materials. These create what experts often call a second disaster. Relief organizations must pay either to ship or dispose of them. The American Red Cross won't accept these kinds of donations. Relief organizations find it more efficient to buy relief supplies in affected countries, which also helps them economically.
_The Red Cross' explanation of why such donations are unsuitable is at http://www.redcross.org/article/0,1072,0_312_3877,00.html
_InterAction's guide on proper disaster donations is at http://www.interaction.org/disaster/guide_giving.html"
read today's papers in morning,,..as more personal stories develop from the tsunami crisis, the more I get drawn in emotionally. I found the little paragraph about a 14 year old local Thai boy weeping aloud that he had lost his parents, his home and his family business particularly affecting. He had no idea where to begin or how to go on. How do you even understand that without being there?
Losing everything in Job-ean proportions and all this in the midst of a hell on earth of discoloured , bloated bodies hanging from treetops and the smell of death everywhere? The description of what it was like to walk through the devastated beaches in Straits Times was sobering....
have class shortly at 10am. Am guessing will end up talking about disaster again. It seems disrespectful not to. Speaking of which, am kinda glad I did not make noisy New Year plans this year. Reading about how Thailand and Malaysia have made 31 Dec a day of mourning instead of partying. Quiet new year eve would be good...time to reflect on God's truths about loving Him and loving our neighbour. Sigh. 2004's Nov and Dec have been real learning months.
Came across an interesting snippet online and was wondering whether I ought to give my 2nd hand clothes after all... I guess money is always good. If you are thinking of giving, go give right now. Don't sit on ass any more and think about it....it's just too unthinkable not to give anything.
"WHAT NOT TO DO:
Don't donate food, clothing or any materials. These create what experts often call a second disaster. Relief organizations must pay either to ship or dispose of them. The American Red Cross won't accept these kinds of donations. Relief organizations find it more efficient to buy relief supplies in affected countries, which also helps them economically.
_The Red Cross' explanation of why such donations are unsuitable is at http://www.redcross.org/article/0,1072,0_312_3877,00.html
_InterAction's guide on proper disaster donations is at http://www.interaction.org/disaster/guide_giving.html"
29/12 events and 6 things to be thankful for in 2004
had great session with kids today talking through the tough question of "why does a compassionate God allow suffering?" in context of the 67,000 tsnumai deathtoll. It was all the kids could think about and surprisingly we had a very deep, theological discussion. Kids surprise me all the time with their depth of enquiry...keeps me on my toes. Today we had several tough bits like - Are we born in sin or just the capacity to sin? Do children who do not know Jesus go to hell? I talked extensively about Book of Job today to contextualise how Christians ought ot approach suffering. We even touched on the divisions within the church, how religion becomes politicised, how not all who call themselves christian will be recognised by God.
I always thought I would never be able to voice out the hardest truths in the Bible but the kids' questions force me to verbalise aloud many of my beliefs. And sometimes its like hearing it for the first time again.... the truths made more sense than ever and every time I said one, it untangled a problem rather than tangled it up even more. Guess that's how you tell truths from lies....the amount of clarity it brings to an issue. I swear Judgement Day sounds more and more sensible each time I talk about it.
It was great to see, understand and reason out the whole tsunami crisis thing from the perspective of non-Christian 18 year olds.
We will probably be studying Buddhism next....would be interesting to see how modern Buddhist scholars get round the issue of pain, suffering, good/evil, relative/absolute....can't wait. Anyone know any good books? Preferably books written by Buddhists themselves for fairness sake.
After a brief meeting with Stainboy about work, I watched kungfu hustle today with DJDaryl, orangeclouds, SuperGeek, The Notorious T.F.G, MonkeyBoss, Mothman and MadHatter.Actually found myself laughing quite hard in beginning at Stephen Chow's nonsense. Got draggy after a while but pseudo Tarantino beginning, fabulous choreography and stupid landlady scenes made it worth the ticket.
2 more days to 2005.....one part scary, two parts exciting! Bring it on!
off top of head: 6 things to be thankful for in 2004
1: a spiritually maturing, fun-loving DG
2: amazing kids at SOT and the opportunity to discuss with them heavy questions on religion.
3: the greatest girlfriends that share tears, fears, loves together. gal pals ROCK da house.
4: lovely guy friends that disprove the myth that men are just self-absorbed, macho cads
5: a family that keeps trying to bond together despite idiosyncrasies and flaws galore.
6: baby rabbits that sleep in heaps, smiling babies and meow-meows with their swift little legs.
I always thought I would never be able to voice out the hardest truths in the Bible but the kids' questions force me to verbalise aloud many of my beliefs. And sometimes its like hearing it for the first time again.... the truths made more sense than ever and every time I said one, it untangled a problem rather than tangled it up even more. Guess that's how you tell truths from lies....the amount of clarity it brings to an issue. I swear Judgement Day sounds more and more sensible each time I talk about it.
It was great to see, understand and reason out the whole tsunami crisis thing from the perspective of non-Christian 18 year olds.
We will probably be studying Buddhism next....would be interesting to see how modern Buddhist scholars get round the issue of pain, suffering, good/evil, relative/absolute....can't wait. Anyone know any good books? Preferably books written by Buddhists themselves for fairness sake.
After a brief meeting with Stainboy about work, I watched kungfu hustle today with DJDaryl, orangeclouds, SuperGeek, The Notorious T.F.G, MonkeyBoss, Mothman and MadHatter.Actually found myself laughing quite hard in beginning at Stephen Chow's nonsense. Got draggy after a while but pseudo Tarantino beginning, fabulous choreography and stupid landlady scenes made it worth the ticket.
2 more days to 2005.....one part scary, two parts exciting! Bring it on!
off top of head: 6 things to be thankful for in 2004
1: a spiritually maturing, fun-loving DG
2: amazing kids at SOT and the opportunity to discuss with them heavy questions on religion.
3: the greatest girlfriends that share tears, fears, loves together. gal pals ROCK da house.
4: lovely guy friends that disprove the myth that men are just self-absorbed, macho cads
5: a family that keeps trying to bond together despite idiosyncrasies and flaws galore.
6: baby rabbits that sleep in heaps, smiling babies and meow-meows with their swift little legs.
Tuesday, December 28, 2004
Help the tsunami victims!
Media Release - For Immediate Release- Monday, 27 December 2004
http://www.redcross.org.sg/press_bayofbengal_appeal.htm
Humanitarian Assistance To The Victims of the Bay of Bengal Earthquake and Tidal Waves
The Singapore Red Cross Society in response to the call for international assistance by the International Federation of Red Cross and Red Crescent Societies, is launching a public appeal to help the victims of the Bay of Bengal earthquake and tidal waves.
As an immediate response to the disaster, the Singapore Red Cross will be sending a sum of Singapore dollars, One hundred and fifty thousand (S$150,000) to Thailand, Indonesia, Sri Lanka, and India (through the International Federation of Red Cross and Red Crescent Societies). The Singapore Red Cross is also in touch with the International Federation of Red Cross and Red Crescent Societies and the national societies of all affected countries to determine what assistance is required to assist the victims.
The Singapore Red Cross hopes to raise Singapore dollars, One Million (S$1,000,000) for this appeal.
The Singapore Red Cross calls on Singaporeans and other like-minded organisations to come forward to contribute to this appeal and help the victims affected by the earthquake and tidal waves that swept across the India Ocean and affected Indonesia, Malaysia, Thailand, Maldives, India and Sri Lanka.
The Singapore Red Cross requests donation for the affected countries. The money donated to this emergency appeal will be used to fund purchases and direct delivery of emergency items like medicine and first aid, food parcels and other relief supplies for the displaced and homeless victims.
The public can send their donations:
1) By cheque to the "Singapore Red Cross Society"
Please indicate behind the cheque "Tidal Waves Asia". Include name, address and telephone number at the back of the cheque as a receipt will be sent to you.
Post the Cheque to:
Singapore Red Cross, Red Cross House, 15 Penang Lane, Singapore 238486
2) Donors may wish to come personally to make a donation (either by cash or by cheque) at the Red Cross House, 15 Penang Lane between 9.00am to 5.30pm on weekdays and from 9.30am to 12.30pm on Saturdays.
http://www.redcross.org.sg/press_bayofbengal_appeal.htm
Humanitarian Assistance To The Victims of the Bay of Bengal Earthquake and Tidal Waves
The Singapore Red Cross Society in response to the call for international assistance by the International Federation of Red Cross and Red Crescent Societies, is launching a public appeal to help the victims of the Bay of Bengal earthquake and tidal waves.
As an immediate response to the disaster, the Singapore Red Cross will be sending a sum of Singapore dollars, One hundred and fifty thousand (S$150,000) to Thailand, Indonesia, Sri Lanka, and India (through the International Federation of Red Cross and Red Crescent Societies). The Singapore Red Cross is also in touch with the International Federation of Red Cross and Red Crescent Societies and the national societies of all affected countries to determine what assistance is required to assist the victims.
The Singapore Red Cross hopes to raise Singapore dollars, One Million (S$1,000,000) for this appeal.
The Singapore Red Cross calls on Singaporeans and other like-minded organisations to come forward to contribute to this appeal and help the victims affected by the earthquake and tidal waves that swept across the India Ocean and affected Indonesia, Malaysia, Thailand, Maldives, India and Sri Lanka.
The Singapore Red Cross requests donation for the affected countries. The money donated to this emergency appeal will be used to fund purchases and direct delivery of emergency items like medicine and first aid, food parcels and other relief supplies for the displaced and homeless victims.
The public can send their donations:
1) By cheque to the "Singapore Red Cross Society"
Please indicate behind the cheque "Tidal Waves Asia". Include name, address and telephone number at the back of the cheque as a receipt will be sent to you.
Post the Cheque to:
Singapore Red Cross, Red Cross House, 15 Penang Lane, Singapore 238486
2) Donors may wish to come personally to make a donation (either by cash or by cheque) at the Red Cross House, 15 Penang Lane between 9.00am to 5.30pm on weekdays and from 9.30am to 12.30pm on Saturdays.
chungking express pirated version
first of silly pictures....was inspired by the mob like pic Alto took at the party. See upper right hand corner of the reindeer games pic earlier. :)
Making rubbish like this and touching up digi pics are good practice of my photoshop skills. (post-rationalisation so i dont have to work on projects. am such a slacker! stupid festive mood...cant do work...)
hoping to do a DJ Daryl CD cover next. :)
Making rubbish like this and touching up digi pics are good practice of my photoshop skills. (post-rationalisation so i dont have to work on projects. am such a slacker! stupid festive mood...cant do work...)
hoping to do a DJ Daryl CD cover next. :)
reindeer games
picture poster of the mad hatter party on boxing day. :)
resigned to loss of handphone and using my old NOKIA 8250 with new sim card now. pui. but things could be much much much worse so i am unsympathetic to my "plight". :P
before i get back to regular work life and out of holiday mood...some more sily pictures coming up...
resigned to loss of handphone and using my old NOKIA 8250 with new sim card now. pui. but things could be much much much worse so i am unsympathetic to my "plight". :P
before i get back to regular work life and out of holiday mood...some more sily pictures coming up...
Monday, December 27, 2004
Feeling loss personally
Just found out today that the original meaning of Boxing Day was a day where people left boxes of plenty on their doorstep for the needy to take. Seems like a timely reminder in the wake of the Boxing Day earthquake horror. Wonder if there are any emergency funds to contribute to.
Post party, I discovered my mobile was missing. Misspent the whole of today searching for it to no avail. I was kind of moping the whole day for the loss of my handphone and its 200 phone numbers and precious saved SMSs. Felt ashamed that I felt the loss of a stupid hunk of plastic more acutely than the immense loss of life and property caused by the tsunamis.
On my way to get a new SIM card from Parkway Parade, I watched a CNA special edition on the crisis and screen after screen was filled with sad images of homes washed away...mothers screaming over the bodies of drowned childre...countless bodies lying side by side in a mockery of peaceful sleep...and tourists sobbing as they helped each other stand up. Was saddened and found myself posing that ancient plea to God to somehow let there be a reason for all this.
I wanted to feel for them as viscerally as I felt for my stupid handphone but I couldn't. It was like being cursed. Damnit, that's what sin is...pure self-centredness to the core. Selfish beast that I am---while I understood in my head the immense degree of loss in the crisis, my shameless heart felt more attached to my teeny weeny degree of loss. Feelings are such fickle things...so hard to trust them to come at the right moment!
When I watched 9-11 unfold on my tv screen I felt such horror and sadness strike me. I remember being paralysed and crying, watching the planes fly again and again into the twin towers. I remember SMSing anyone in my phone book about it. I wonder why I felt so strongly for 9-11 but not this which is so much closer to home. Perhaps it was because 9-11 appeared to be about the foolish evilness of man unto man, while this earthquake catastrophe seems to be about the will of God? Why He lets tragedies happen is still something I can never truly truly comprehend with equal fervour in my head and in my heart. I understand, accept and can rationalise the answers to evil and suffering but mostly I just want Him to set it right once and for all.
I wish the 2nd Coming would come soon....there is so much to be set right in this world, so many questions that beg for an answer and so many tears to wipe away. The justification of every loss, the cure to the folly of our hearts...what a necessary and Good day that will be.
Post party, I discovered my mobile was missing. Misspent the whole of today searching for it to no avail. I was kind of moping the whole day for the loss of my handphone and its 200 phone numbers and precious saved SMSs. Felt ashamed that I felt the loss of a stupid hunk of plastic more acutely than the immense loss of life and property caused by the tsunamis.
On my way to get a new SIM card from Parkway Parade, I watched a CNA special edition on the crisis and screen after screen was filled with sad images of homes washed away...mothers screaming over the bodies of drowned childre...countless bodies lying side by side in a mockery of peaceful sleep...and tourists sobbing as they helped each other stand up. Was saddened and found myself posing that ancient plea to God to somehow let there be a reason for all this.
I wanted to feel for them as viscerally as I felt for my stupid handphone but I couldn't. It was like being cursed. Damnit, that's what sin is...pure self-centredness to the core. Selfish beast that I am---while I understood in my head the immense degree of loss in the crisis, my shameless heart felt more attached to my teeny weeny degree of loss. Feelings are such fickle things...so hard to trust them to come at the right moment!
When I watched 9-11 unfold on my tv screen I felt such horror and sadness strike me. I remember being paralysed and crying, watching the planes fly again and again into the twin towers. I remember SMSing anyone in my phone book about it. I wonder why I felt so strongly for 9-11 but not this which is so much closer to home. Perhaps it was because 9-11 appeared to be about the foolish evilness of man unto man, while this earthquake catastrophe seems to be about the will of God? Why He lets tragedies happen is still something I can never truly truly comprehend with equal fervour in my head and in my heart. I understand, accept and can rationalise the answers to evil and suffering but mostly I just want Him to set it right once and for all.
I wish the 2nd Coming would come soon....there is so much to be set right in this world, so many questions that beg for an answer and so many tears to wipe away. The justification of every loss, the cure to the folly of our hearts...what a necessary and Good day that will be.
Boxing Day strangeness
spent whole day grocery shopping, stoning and finally preparing for dinner tonight with arpc friends. Was throughly fun theme night of "wear nice dinner wear and please wear a hat". Loved the photos TolkeinFanGirl took.. especially those of us posing with her stylin' reindeer hairband. Even cooler part of the night was getting to spend some time catching up over exciting news with TuxedoDiplomat and Dalmaetian.
Strange thing was that after everyone had long left, while cleaning up I finally hear the breaking news about the tsunamis that hit SouthEast Asia at 7am this Boxing Day morning. It has not really hit me yet the extreme devastation that has swept the coasts of Thailand, India, Malaysia, Indoneisia and the poor, poor Maldives.
It was terribly odd: at least 5800 people dead and all I could fathom was the plates in front of me, soapy and crusted with leftovers that needed washing. Am typing this post washing and tupperwaring leftovers, and it still has not really hit me.
man. it must be because i am tired. bet it will hit me tomorrow when i open the papers. Geez, 1000s of lives just wiped away like that.
current music: CNN in the background with its constant chant of "the death toll is rising"
current mood: odd.
a wierd mix of satisfaction from a nice party and curiously detached horror at the catastrophe that was happening. Whole villages swept away as we chopped vegetables, chatted, laughed and took silly pictures? unreal.... :_(
Strange thing was that after everyone had long left, while cleaning up I finally hear the breaking news about the tsunamis that hit SouthEast Asia at 7am this Boxing Day morning. It has not really hit me yet the extreme devastation that has swept the coasts of Thailand, India, Malaysia, Indoneisia and the poor, poor Maldives.
It was terribly odd: at least 5800 people dead and all I could fathom was the plates in front of me, soapy and crusted with leftovers that needed washing. Am typing this post washing and tupperwaring leftovers, and it still has not really hit me.
man. it must be because i am tired. bet it will hit me tomorrow when i open the papers. Geez, 1000s of lives just wiped away like that.
current music: CNN in the background with its constant chant of "the death toll is rising"
current mood: odd.
a wierd mix of satisfaction from a nice party and curiously detached horror at the catastrophe that was happening. Whole villages swept away as we chopped vegetables, chatted, laughed and took silly pictures? unreal.... :_(
Saturday, December 25, 2004
Memory Lane: My dad and the $3000 encyclopedias
Last night while my dad drove me back from christmas eve grocery shopping, I asked him if he thought of giving away all our encyclopedias as they were getting old and nobody read them any more.
At home, I have the classic big 4 sets of Encyclopedia Britannicas - the baby one, the one for teenagers, the red bound one for older youths and finally the mighty big brown ones for serious adult researchers. They are all musty now and the silverfish have been industriously tunneling around in the spines.
My father declares, "Give them away? Do you know how much I had to slog and save to buy them for you guys?" He recounted that he bought those encyclopedias in the 1970s and back then, they cost $3000.
He goes on to contextualise it by saying back then he paid $6300 for a new car and $6900 for a new flat.
It floored me - those books on our shelves cost a freaking half a car? half a flat?
What floored me more - that somehow my father had been farsighted and sacrificial enough to think : my children need more than transport and a roof over their head. My children need knowledge and wisdom from others.
It was really sweet to have found that out by chance actually. Its wierd how we find out all these little things about how our parents thought.
His investment paid off. Me and my brother developed a voracious appetite for books of all kinds. Books have been a part of our childhood as much as Electric Company , 3-2-1 Contact, Abba and Lode Runner.
Me, my korkor and later my sister grew up with a healthy respect for learning and an active, creative imagination.
I love this photo. It looks like a natural promotional poster for some reading campaign. :)
Check out cool 80s cultural references in picture: I am reading the seminal Usbourne How to be a Spy Handbook. My brother is reading Hardy Boys... he loved the 3 Investigators series so much he called himself Peter Crenshaw.
And coolest of all: he is wearing his very own hand drawn Storm-Trooper pajamas. :)
At home, I have the classic big 4 sets of Encyclopedia Britannicas - the baby one, the one for teenagers, the red bound one for older youths and finally the mighty big brown ones for serious adult researchers. They are all musty now and the silverfish have been industriously tunneling around in the spines.
My father declares, "Give them away? Do you know how much I had to slog and save to buy them for you guys?" He recounted that he bought those encyclopedias in the 1970s and back then, they cost $3000.
He goes on to contextualise it by saying back then he paid $6300 for a new car and $6900 for a new flat.
It floored me - those books on our shelves cost a freaking half a car? half a flat?
What floored me more - that somehow my father had been farsighted and sacrificial enough to think : my children need more than transport and a roof over their head. My children need knowledge and wisdom from others.
It was really sweet to have found that out by chance actually. Its wierd how we find out all these little things about how our parents thought.
His investment paid off. Me and my brother developed a voracious appetite for books of all kinds. Books have been a part of our childhood as much as Electric Company , 3-2-1 Contact, Abba and Lode Runner.
Me, my korkor and later my sister grew up with a healthy respect for learning and an active, creative imagination.
I love this photo. It looks like a natural promotional poster for some reading campaign. :)
Check out cool 80s cultural references in picture: I am reading the seminal Usbourne How to be a Spy Handbook. My brother is reading Hardy Boys... he loved the 3 Investigators series so much he called himself Peter Crenshaw.
And coolest of all: he is wearing his very own hand drawn Storm-Trooper pajamas. :)
Friday, December 24, 2004
christmas eve thoughts - The Power of Truth
Was up till 3am, amusing myself doing up christmas gifts. So when I woke today - Christmas eve morning- it was hardly what i expected.
I woke up today, feeling a familiar, old heartache. Sometimes it comes from nowhere, making me give some credence to the whole spiritual warfare talk. It's just odd how these bad moments just pop into your day unannounced.
Anyhow, I had to still myself for a while, praying and asking God to help me fight the familiar fight with my old fears. I even started to talk myself through the moment, as gently and firmly as I would talk any of my friends through their moments. ( Maybe that's why some people think I am a good counsellor.....the secret is I have had so much practice on myself! ha. )
Over the years I have somewhat become my own best counsellor since most of the time when the bad moments come they are at ungodly early or late hours. It does admittedly feel lonely at times though, playing counsellor to yourself. But what to do lah!
The great thing is that once more the knowledge of God broke the hold of the bad moment. I sat for a while amazed with a thought, "Truth is so powerful."
It never fails to amaze me again and again how all the cliches and metaphors about Truth are so freaking accurate - the Truth does set you free, the Truth does pierce like an arrow, the Truth really does shine like a brilliant light in darkness.
I had to journal all the rush of thoughts I was getting about Truth into my quiet time book. Must have gotten 3 pages worth of automatic, stream of consciousness stuff.
How accurate it is to call Satan the Father of Lies - the opposer of a Father of Truth!
I think we forget how revealing it is to call a lie a "half-truth". Half-truths seduce us because of that little fish-hook of reality. Half-truths gain their power over us because we believe the little facet of reality they reflect are all there is.
The fastest way to surgically remove that hook, and undermine the power of a half-truth is to embrace the One who is the Father of Absolute Truth. His Truth dominates over all the sly, little half-truths and show them for what they are. God and His way is the real Be all and End all...do not be fooled by anything else that pretends otherwise.
What is the Truth? I learnt today what Jesus meant when He minimised God's Truth into 2 simple principles.
FIrst, "Love your God with all your heart, all your mind and all your strength." For nothing is more urgent, more illuminating and more liberating than to do so.
I cannot stress this enough. Think about what it means. A total alignment with the Truth of all things, the Alpha and Omega. There is a reason why the Proverbs declare, "The fear of God is the beginning of wisdom."
Then and ONLY then, can you start to realise How and How Much it's going to take to "Love Your Neighbour as Thyself".
All the Laws and all the Prophets hang on those 2 principles. WOW. What an amazing God.....what an amazing amazing concept.
...and you thought because of the happy picture this was going to be an unserious blog...suuuuuucccker. hee.
I did want to post a happy photo for christmas eve and I found this really old one, taken way back by Monkeyboss. It was the first year I set up my school. I remember it was me, Monkey and Stainboy hanging out over canned drinks at the school when I and Stain just started checking out ARPC.
I always think its funny how happy I look in the picture. Because that year was one of the damn toughest ones I had. Check out my eyebags. But darn, do I look okay. And I was okay...little beaten up but okay.
I guess that is the Power of God's Truth. "Though I walk though the valley of the shadow of death, I shall fear no Evil because You are with me."
Phwoar, is He good or what.
A truly blessed Christmas indeed. :)
I woke up today, feeling a familiar, old heartache. Sometimes it comes from nowhere, making me give some credence to the whole spiritual warfare talk. It's just odd how these bad moments just pop into your day unannounced.
Anyhow, I had to still myself for a while, praying and asking God to help me fight the familiar fight with my old fears. I even started to talk myself through the moment, as gently and firmly as I would talk any of my friends through their moments. ( Maybe that's why some people think I am a good counsellor.....the secret is I have had so much practice on myself! ha. )
Over the years I have somewhat become my own best counsellor since most of the time when the bad moments come they are at ungodly early or late hours. It does admittedly feel lonely at times though, playing counsellor to yourself. But what to do lah!
The great thing is that once more the knowledge of God broke the hold of the bad moment. I sat for a while amazed with a thought, "Truth is so powerful."
It never fails to amaze me again and again how all the cliches and metaphors about Truth are so freaking accurate - the Truth does set you free, the Truth does pierce like an arrow, the Truth really does shine like a brilliant light in darkness.
I had to journal all the rush of thoughts I was getting about Truth into my quiet time book. Must have gotten 3 pages worth of automatic, stream of consciousness stuff.
How accurate it is to call Satan the Father of Lies - the opposer of a Father of Truth!
I think we forget how revealing it is to call a lie a "half-truth". Half-truths seduce us because of that little fish-hook of reality. Half-truths gain their power over us because we believe the little facet of reality they reflect are all there is.
The fastest way to surgically remove that hook, and undermine the power of a half-truth is to embrace the One who is the Father of Absolute Truth. His Truth dominates over all the sly, little half-truths and show them for what they are. God and His way is the real Be all and End all...do not be fooled by anything else that pretends otherwise.
What is the Truth? I learnt today what Jesus meant when He minimised God's Truth into 2 simple principles.
FIrst, "Love your God with all your heart, all your mind and all your strength." For nothing is more urgent, more illuminating and more liberating than to do so.
I cannot stress this enough. Think about what it means. A total alignment with the Truth of all things, the Alpha and Omega. There is a reason why the Proverbs declare, "The fear of God is the beginning of wisdom."
Then and ONLY then, can you start to realise How and How Much it's going to take to "Love Your Neighbour as Thyself".
All the Laws and all the Prophets hang on those 2 principles. WOW. What an amazing God.....what an amazing amazing concept.
...and you thought because of the happy picture this was going to be an unserious blog...suuuuuucccker. hee.
I did want to post a happy photo for christmas eve and I found this really old one, taken way back by Monkeyboss. It was the first year I set up my school. I remember it was me, Monkey and Stainboy hanging out over canned drinks at the school when I and Stain just started checking out ARPC.
I always think its funny how happy I look in the picture. Because that year was one of the damn toughest ones I had. Check out my eyebags. But darn, do I look okay. And I was okay...little beaten up but okay.
I guess that is the Power of God's Truth. "Though I walk though the valley of the shadow of death, I shall fear no Evil because You are with me."
Phwoar, is He good or what.
A truly blessed Christmas indeed. :)
Wednesday, December 22, 2004
conversation with an old friend
It's 2am and am still clearing design deadlines late cos i (mis)spent my whole day doing last minute christmas shopping and catching up with old friend, StainBoy.
Like the previous post, this was yet another December serendipity type conversation - unplanned, nice and real. Work gets in the way of proper meeting up so getting a chance to catch up again like old times was really a pleasant little blessing.
Stainboy and I go waaaaay back to second year NUS. He has the dubious honour of being the person who brought me to church. Stainboy and I both happened to be sorting out our own individual rough patches in university and God seemed to use the new friendship to get us both through our valleys. Our friendship is marked by pretty good times of cool conversations, gaming sessions, really bad jokes and one minor falling out which thankfully never blew up into anything worse with God's amazing grace.
It was good to find God still doing His good work in Stainboy's life. I can honestly say it's nice to see how we have both grown up since university. We grew up not just because of age, life experience, work or the run of the mill factors. The changes in both of us happened principally because of God's power to mould strength out of weakness, life out of death and hope out of despair. It sounds bloody drama and MGSR (as Mothman will put it) but I am glad to say it's the plain truth.
Anyhow...Stainboy, WeudiWeu and BeanyCrunch collectively make up the first genuine, healthy friendships I had post-Secondary-School-Traumatic-Friendships. I always look back to these 3 friendships that fell in place like divinely-placed dominoes into my life exactly when I needed them. And all before I really knew who God was. Each marked a new season of growth and healing, well peppered with shared laughs and shared fears.
Am glad to say new friendships aside from the initial 3 have sprouted out in the walk towards Christ. This year has brought forth many a genuine moment of friendship...I must remember them in my christmas cards his year. I can feel that 2005 will be amazing already--- simply because I know there will be new conversations, lessons and moments brought into my world through old and new relationships.
Here's to friends. God really knew what he was doing when he created them. :)
note to self: shall have to blog a list of 10 things to be thankful for in 2004 before i forget, come to think about it!
as WatermelonGal's song goes "Life is sweet...."
current song: Elvis Presley's seminal version of Can't Help Falling in Love
current mood: bit tired from shopping whole day but it was a Good day indeed.
Like the previous post, this was yet another December serendipity type conversation - unplanned, nice and real. Work gets in the way of proper meeting up so getting a chance to catch up again like old times was really a pleasant little blessing.
Stainboy and I go waaaaay back to second year NUS. He has the dubious honour of being the person who brought me to church. Stainboy and I both happened to be sorting out our own individual rough patches in university and God seemed to use the new friendship to get us both through our valleys. Our friendship is marked by pretty good times of cool conversations, gaming sessions, really bad jokes and one minor falling out which thankfully never blew up into anything worse with God's amazing grace.
It was good to find God still doing His good work in Stainboy's life. I can honestly say it's nice to see how we have both grown up since university. We grew up not just because of age, life experience, work or the run of the mill factors. The changes in both of us happened principally because of God's power to mould strength out of weakness, life out of death and hope out of despair. It sounds bloody drama and MGSR (as Mothman will put it) but I am glad to say it's the plain truth.
Anyhow...Stainboy, WeudiWeu and BeanyCrunch collectively make up the first genuine, healthy friendships I had post-Secondary-School-Traumatic-Friendships. I always look back to these 3 friendships that fell in place like divinely-placed dominoes into my life exactly when I needed them. And all before I really knew who God was. Each marked a new season of growth and healing, well peppered with shared laughs and shared fears.
Am glad to say new friendships aside from the initial 3 have sprouted out in the walk towards Christ. This year has brought forth many a genuine moment of friendship...I must remember them in my christmas cards his year. I can feel that 2005 will be amazing already--- simply because I know there will be new conversations, lessons and moments brought into my world through old and new relationships.
Here's to friends. God really knew what he was doing when he created them. :)
note to self: shall have to blog a list of 10 things to be thankful for in 2004 before i forget, come to think about it!
as WatermelonGal's song goes "Life is sweet...."
current song: Elvis Presley's seminal version of Can't Help Falling in Love
current mood: bit tired from shopping whole day but it was a Good day indeed.
Monday, December 20, 2004
2004 wind-down #1
I had a great day today - played water-polo with the PUNJers from church and winded down with pizza on the rooftop of the SIngapore Sports School. But the best part of the day easily was a pleasant, unplanned late-night ginger beer and chips session by the pool with MonkeyBoss and MothMan.
Key interesting conversation bits:
Finding your footing in life
The Formulaic chasing which ends one up with formulaic women
How men ought to use their head (not that one) to judge relationships
Heart and sincerity should be the ultimate clincher in a courtship
MInistering to difficult people
Like all good conversations, tonight's conversation is a hard one to try and capture accurately in words. Suffice to say, it was one of those little pleasurable conversations in life that ultimately leave you with a feeling of simple contentment. Lovely breeze, comfortable deck chairs to slump in, an inky black sky and real, down-to-earth conversation between friends that walk the same route towards God.
That's enough magic in itself.
Sunday, December 19, 2004
scenes from dinner
thanks for the pics, spots. :)
i love how pretty the pomegranate peach chardonnay looks in your photo!
even as i type this now, my sister is having her friends over for dinner at our place. our dining table becomes party central every end of year.....
speaking of end of year, am starting to get the nostalgic "last 2 weeks of the year" feeling again....it's the sad wistfulness of witnessing another year pass and the anticipation of a new one to come, with new epiphanies, reflections and lessons....will probably be blogging at length if i give that a deeper think. :)
i love how pretty the pomegranate peach chardonnay looks in your photo!
even as i type this now, my sister is having her friends over for dinner at our place. our dining table becomes party central every end of year.....
speaking of end of year, am starting to get the nostalgic "last 2 weeks of the year" feeling again....it's the sad wistfulness of witnessing another year pass and the anticipation of a new one to come, with new epiphanies, reflections and lessons....will probably be blogging at length if i give that a deeper think. :)
Friday, December 17, 2004
post dinner mood
(shoutout to spots: your other half does not like cardamom? oh dear, then kulfi must not have gone down well then LOL)
nothing heavy going in blog today. just ramblin along
so i cooked my indian-ish inspired dinner after much reading and research into various magazines. i love the whole process of prepping for dinner, from the weeks of "research" for innovative recipie ideas to the actual day of masochistic supermarketing.
mini fiasco with the chicken tonight cos the first batch spelt suspiciously spoilt----mah-der of mine comes to the rescue as she always does by doing a last minute supermarket run for less funky smelling chicken.
i suspect i love christmas partly cos i have excuse to throw atas, pretty dinner parties that i lust over in food magazines. Have a weakness for designing pretty, photo-friendly food...too bad i am not innately a photographer. never document any of my fancy meals, i suppose the memory is enough for me. my friends are my guinea pigs for my "pretend to be caterer" fugue states. :)
the pseudo fancy schmancy menu:
pomegranate peach chardonnay cocktail
spicy lentil soup
Indian roast chicken
baked honey pears with brie and walnut on watercress
lychee kulfi studded with pomegranates and pistachios
marsala chai
ending night with leftover chardonnay and a slice of brie, my G4 and a whole lotta tealights.
Its back to "cai peng" (common rice and vegetables) tomorrow. have yet to draw up christmas list of presents....that's another fun thing, the masochistic search for nice presents for people.
post pictures when Spots passes them to me. We did not take many shots, just 3 or so. We need incessant photographers like the venerable TolkeinFanGrrl for extensive archiving of our wanton youth.
current music: my sister's favourite dinner party mix. Current track is Pink Martini's Sympathique.
current mood: slightly drowsy
nothing heavy going in blog today. just ramblin along
so i cooked my indian-ish inspired dinner after much reading and research into various magazines. i love the whole process of prepping for dinner, from the weeks of "research" for innovative recipie ideas to the actual day of masochistic supermarketing.
mini fiasco with the chicken tonight cos the first batch spelt suspiciously spoilt----mah-der of mine comes to the rescue as she always does by doing a last minute supermarket run for less funky smelling chicken.
i suspect i love christmas partly cos i have excuse to throw atas, pretty dinner parties that i lust over in food magazines. Have a weakness for designing pretty, photo-friendly food...too bad i am not innately a photographer. never document any of my fancy meals, i suppose the memory is enough for me. my friends are my guinea pigs for my "pretend to be caterer" fugue states. :)
the pseudo fancy schmancy menu:
pomegranate peach chardonnay cocktail
spicy lentil soup
Indian roast chicken
baked honey pears with brie and walnut on watercress
lychee kulfi studded with pomegranates and pistachios
marsala chai
ending night with leftover chardonnay and a slice of brie, my G4 and a whole lotta tealights.
Its back to "cai peng" (common rice and vegetables) tomorrow. have yet to draw up christmas list of presents....that's another fun thing, the masochistic search for nice presents for people.
post pictures when Spots passes them to me. We did not take many shots, just 3 or so. We need incessant photographers like the venerable TolkeinFanGrrl for extensive archiving of our wanton youth.
current music: my sister's favourite dinner party mix. Current track is Pink Martini's Sympathique.
current mood: slightly drowsy
Thursday, December 16, 2004
Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind and My Mother
(interlude - wave to don in comments section :) yeah I think it would be cool if we could just tell societal expectations to bugger off too but that's the reality we are born into and all. And yes, the phenomenon you talked about works for women as well. I was totally crushing on this guy way back in school just because I loved how big brotherly he was with the kids in the latchkey centre we volunteered at. My best friend was appalled and saw nothing attractive in him at all. it was vice cersa with me and her crush. haha. )
+++++++++++part one: eternal sunshine of the spotless mind!
was supposed to prep for dinner tomorrow with friends but had splitting headache and decided to vege out in front of tv. Been meaning to watch Eternal Sunshine for a while cos I heard such great stuff about it. Personally, I always thought JIm Carrey had lots of potential as a dramatic actor since I saw Truman Show and Liar Liar. Kate Winslet is always a favourite of mine....strange thing is I never really like the roles she plays but I love the way she plays them. She has got the "seh" - some intelligent, classy, earthy x-factor that I love.
Anyhow, I liked the movie a lot. What a year for intelligent, un Hollywood romantic movies! My top 3 romance movies this year would be Eternal Sunshine, 2046 and Before Sunset. In particular I thought the ending was clever....won't it really be crazy if we could enter relationships with eyes wide open to each other's general sinfulness and assorted horrible aspects instead of eyes wide shut? It was interesting to see how stunned the 2 characters were to hear themselves say absolutely horrible things about each other on tape and wonder how did they manage to reach that point before. Clever play on our idealisation of romance. Must think about it a little more. :) Mark Ruffalo from 13 going on 30 was in the show as well...he plays the ruffled, almost nerdish rogue type well. One of those actors whose charisma comes from his "real-ness" I guess. Like the total opposite of George "Cary Grant 2" Clooney. (whom i loved in ocean's 11!)
+++++++++part deux: tales of my mah-der and fadder
Off to make my maiden attempt at Lychee Kulfi. My mother has already deflated my enthusiasm slightly by making snide comment about how kulfi is very "nan-chi" (chinese for difficult or gross to eat) sigh. Everytime I cook, my mother hovers around like I am 12, messing about the kitchen, ready to blow up the house to bits. Up to now she still calls me to remind me to turn off the stove or iron "in case the house burns down". It drives me batty. I could be 50 and still getting calls like that.
This is why I rarely cook for my parents. If it is not chinese food, and is not in their style of chinese food, it is always "nan chi", And they wonder why I tell them I hate cooking for them cos they are so darn picky!
Have recklessly put myself in firing squad and offered to cook Christmas Eve dinner for them....Japanese food is counted acceptable.......hold breath.....must. ....prepare..... for. ....critique....! must....honour.....thy...father....and ...mother!
wish me luck. :) I love my parents but man!.....I am always going to be 12 and "bu dong si" in their eyes. geeeeeeeeeez..
+++++++++++part one: eternal sunshine of the spotless mind!
was supposed to prep for dinner tomorrow with friends but had splitting headache and decided to vege out in front of tv. Been meaning to watch Eternal Sunshine for a while cos I heard such great stuff about it. Personally, I always thought JIm Carrey had lots of potential as a dramatic actor since I saw Truman Show and Liar Liar. Kate Winslet is always a favourite of mine....strange thing is I never really like the roles she plays but I love the way she plays them. She has got the "seh" - some intelligent, classy, earthy x-factor that I love.
Anyhow, I liked the movie a lot. What a year for intelligent, un Hollywood romantic movies! My top 3 romance movies this year would be Eternal Sunshine, 2046 and Before Sunset. In particular I thought the ending was clever....won't it really be crazy if we could enter relationships with eyes wide open to each other's general sinfulness and assorted horrible aspects instead of eyes wide shut? It was interesting to see how stunned the 2 characters were to hear themselves say absolutely horrible things about each other on tape and wonder how did they manage to reach that point before. Clever play on our idealisation of romance. Must think about it a little more. :) Mark Ruffalo from 13 going on 30 was in the show as well...he plays the ruffled, almost nerdish rogue type well. One of those actors whose charisma comes from his "real-ness" I guess. Like the total opposite of George "Cary Grant 2" Clooney. (whom i loved in ocean's 11!)
+++++++++part deux: tales of my mah-der and fadder
Off to make my maiden attempt at Lychee Kulfi. My mother has already deflated my enthusiasm slightly by making snide comment about how kulfi is very "nan-chi" (chinese for difficult or gross to eat) sigh. Everytime I cook, my mother hovers around like I am 12, messing about the kitchen, ready to blow up the house to bits. Up to now she still calls me to remind me to turn off the stove or iron "in case the house burns down". It drives me batty. I could be 50 and still getting calls like that.
This is why I rarely cook for my parents. If it is not chinese food, and is not in their style of chinese food, it is always "nan chi", And they wonder why I tell them I hate cooking for them cos they are so darn picky!
Have recklessly put myself in firing squad and offered to cook Christmas Eve dinner for them....Japanese food is counted acceptable.......hold breath.....must. ....prepare..... for. ....critique....! must....honour.....thy...father....and ...mother!
wish me luck. :) I love my parents but man!.....I am always going to be 12 and "bu dong si" in their eyes. geeeeeeeeeez..
Wednesday, December 15, 2004
Gratuitous Cute Rabbit Break
hoo....just re-read my blog entry about the Beauty issue and it sounded like such a downer.
time for a Oolong break. Or rather a Oolong the rabbit break. awwwwww...so cute.
yesterday I stood for 20 minutes at a pet shop before meeting MojoJojo and MonkeyBoss for coffee. There is something therapeutic about staring at little baby bunnies sleep in a big communal lump. Furry, warm, communal, snuggly bunny things.
sigh. The first thing I am getting when I move out is a rabbit.
time for a Oolong break. Or rather a Oolong the rabbit break. awwwwww...so cute.
yesterday I stood for 20 minutes at a pet shop before meeting MojoJojo and MonkeyBoss for coffee. There is something therapeutic about staring at little baby bunnies sleep in a big communal lump. Furry, warm, communal, snuggly bunny things.
sigh. The first thing I am getting when I move out is a rabbit.
A thing of Beauty is a joy forever
A perennial complaint among my girlfriends, christian and non-christian, is that men seem to be fixated on physical beauty more than any other asset in a woman. Women speak of that with resignation and a bit of fatalism.
Let's cut guys a little slack. To be fair, yes let's admit that women judge men also by physical beauty. I don't think that is right either. And women can be their own worst enemies, judging members of their own gender with bitchy flair.
However, back to the original issue, most guys admit there is something about the physical that grips them much more so than women.
Funnily enough, when I hear men past their 30s talk seriously about the woman they want, they earnestly name recurring intangible traits like faithfulness, trustworthiness...a woman who will be their shelter from the stormy demanding world outside, a woman who will be their support to fall back on in rough times. I do not doubt that men seek this.
So why don't they talk about women more in those terms rather in terms of sexiness or "chioh-ness"? Why don't more women witness men talking about women in terms of how good they are, how kind, how patient, how slow to anger, how quick to give? Why don't we hear more stories from men about how this girl made their heads turn because of her good character or lovely personality?
After all, If they did, women would feel more hopeful that character truly matters to a man more than looks. Women may feel less pressure to dress or look in a certain way and feel more encouraged to develop those traits of faithfulness, trustworthiness and strength that men ultimately want at crunch time.
How rare it is to find a woman today untouched by the demands of this world to look sexually attractive. All women and girls feel it from as early as 8...how perverse is it when the need to have clear skin, a taut torso, sleek thighs, wind-blown hair and bikini-worthy breasts overrides the need to grow an astute mind, generous heart and faithful soul?
I have always adored Amazon.com's Jeff Bezos for what he said about why he married the woman he did. He joked that he wanted a woman who could crack him out of a MIddle Eastern prison if he ever got thrown into one. Its a funny way of putting it, but I think he was saying he wanted a woman who was more than just a good looker.
A hot bod that turns you on may not sustain you as much as a whole lot of faith and love during bankruptcy, unemployment, wartime, sickness or the death of a child.
I wonder how many men actually realise the extent which women are taught to hate their bodies. Men may treat it as a laugh when women talk about hating how fat they look. But men dont have a clue that the hate some women feel towards their bodies can be a real visceral thing.
Grown women can cry in dressing rooms because of the sadness triggered from not being able to fit into a designated Small size any more. School girls can grab their own flesh and fat as cruelly as an abuser and wish with all their might for it to melt away. Flat chested, skinny girls are made to feel ashamed at having no breasts. I have sat in an eating disorder help group where young skeletal, hollow eyed women talk about hating themselves for wanting to eat. I know men who did nothing as their girlfriends vomitted after every meal because they did not think it was that big a deal.
I get sad thinking of how little the world understands about Beauty. I get angry when I hear a girl made to feel small and ugly thanks to some throwaway remark by guy or girl. I hate it that we don't do enough to make each other, man or woman, feel worthy, feel human and feel truly beautiful.
As a school girl, I felt ashamed of how little I looked like the typical Asian beauty. I despised my coat-hanger mannish shoulders, relatively big frame, big mouth and un-perky nose. I was and still am not a wispy, sweet looking Zhang Ziyi. Growing older in university had helped me make peace with that. I have learnt to enjoy the way I look.
Fashion and the common sense go some way in helping you to make the most of what you have I guess. But it's Knowing God that has helped me the most fundamentally in untangling the mystery of Beauty, especially what defines a woman's true Beauty.
It's in Proverbs 31's famour epilogue "The Wife of Noble Character"
"...She is clothed with strength and dignity;
she can laugh at the days to come.
She speaks with wisdom,
and faithful instruction is on her tongue.
...Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;
but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.
Give her the reward she has earned,
and let her works bring her praise at the city gate. "
I like that. :)
I want to be that woman who can laugh at the present and the future, dressing her aging body with the strength, dignity and wisdom that comes through a lifetime of service.
I think little is gained by arguing who is to blame for inculcating the false ideas of men and women. Playing the Blame Game is the best way of falling for the devil's trickery.
Instead, let women believe for themselves the God given Truth about what real Beauty is and pursue that even if the world laughs. Let men help women find that Truth through encouraging words and actions.
Let's cut guys a little slack. To be fair, yes let's admit that women judge men also by physical beauty. I don't think that is right either. And women can be their own worst enemies, judging members of their own gender with bitchy flair.
However, back to the original issue, most guys admit there is something about the physical that grips them much more so than women.
Funnily enough, when I hear men past their 30s talk seriously about the woman they want, they earnestly name recurring intangible traits like faithfulness, trustworthiness...a woman who will be their shelter from the stormy demanding world outside, a woman who will be their support to fall back on in rough times. I do not doubt that men seek this.
So why don't they talk about women more in those terms rather in terms of sexiness or "chioh-ness"? Why don't more women witness men talking about women in terms of how good they are, how kind, how patient, how slow to anger, how quick to give? Why don't we hear more stories from men about how this girl made their heads turn because of her good character or lovely personality?
After all, If they did, women would feel more hopeful that character truly matters to a man more than looks. Women may feel less pressure to dress or look in a certain way and feel more encouraged to develop those traits of faithfulness, trustworthiness and strength that men ultimately want at crunch time.
How rare it is to find a woman today untouched by the demands of this world to look sexually attractive. All women and girls feel it from as early as 8...how perverse is it when the need to have clear skin, a taut torso, sleek thighs, wind-blown hair and bikini-worthy breasts overrides the need to grow an astute mind, generous heart and faithful soul?
I have always adored Amazon.com's Jeff Bezos for what he said about why he married the woman he did. He joked that he wanted a woman who could crack him out of a MIddle Eastern prison if he ever got thrown into one. Its a funny way of putting it, but I think he was saying he wanted a woman who was more than just a good looker.
A hot bod that turns you on may not sustain you as much as a whole lot of faith and love during bankruptcy, unemployment, wartime, sickness or the death of a child.
I wonder how many men actually realise the extent which women are taught to hate their bodies. Men may treat it as a laugh when women talk about hating how fat they look. But men dont have a clue that the hate some women feel towards their bodies can be a real visceral thing.
Grown women can cry in dressing rooms because of the sadness triggered from not being able to fit into a designated Small size any more. School girls can grab their own flesh and fat as cruelly as an abuser and wish with all their might for it to melt away. Flat chested, skinny girls are made to feel ashamed at having no breasts. I have sat in an eating disorder help group where young skeletal, hollow eyed women talk about hating themselves for wanting to eat. I know men who did nothing as their girlfriends vomitted after every meal because they did not think it was that big a deal.
I get sad thinking of how little the world understands about Beauty. I get angry when I hear a girl made to feel small and ugly thanks to some throwaway remark by guy or girl. I hate it that we don't do enough to make each other, man or woman, feel worthy, feel human and feel truly beautiful.
As a school girl, I felt ashamed of how little I looked like the typical Asian beauty. I despised my coat-hanger mannish shoulders, relatively big frame, big mouth and un-perky nose. I was and still am not a wispy, sweet looking Zhang Ziyi. Growing older in university had helped me make peace with that. I have learnt to enjoy the way I look.
Fashion and the common sense go some way in helping you to make the most of what you have I guess. But it's Knowing God that has helped me the most fundamentally in untangling the mystery of Beauty, especially what defines a woman's true Beauty.
It's in Proverbs 31's famour epilogue "The Wife of Noble Character"
"...She is clothed with strength and dignity;
she can laugh at the days to come.
She speaks with wisdom,
and faithful instruction is on her tongue.
...Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;
but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.
Give her the reward she has earned,
and let her works bring her praise at the city gate. "
I like that. :)
I want to be that woman who can laugh at the present and the future, dressing her aging body with the strength, dignity and wisdom that comes through a lifetime of service.
I think little is gained by arguing who is to blame for inculcating the false ideas of men and women. Playing the Blame Game is the best way of falling for the devil's trickery.
Instead, let women believe for themselves the God given Truth about what real Beauty is and pursue that even if the world laughs. Let men help women find that Truth through encouraging words and actions.
Monday, December 13, 2004
Agape - No Strings Attached
just watched 13 going on 30: Jennifer Garner is gorgeous...her smile literally lights up her face from pretty to something luminous and joyful. Too bad the movie was kind of a cop-out. Personally, I liked it when Mark Ruffalo chooses to go ahead and marry his fiance because he realises that "we cannot just turn back time." It would have been a mature unHollywood ending to close the film with the scene of Garner embracing her childhood dollhouse under the drifitng autumn leaves, pensive, grown-up and realising she must move on. Instead, indeed time is turned thanks to literal magic dust and tadah - Garner and Ruffalo get married.
It's like the ending Julie Delpy and Ethan Hawke's characters wished they could have had in Before Sunset. Loved that movie for how real it was in the moments of genuine regret and pain that emerged in the conversations between the two.
++++++++++++++++++++++++
slightly off tangent but along similar threads of unrequited love, the movie made me think about this article I read earlier in the year. It has been one of the best articles i have read about one of the big problems that plague christian singles.
Agape - No Strings Attached
By Lia Fuller O'Neil
"Love. It's such a simple word. And such a complex emotion. Even when we desire to love in a simple, uncomplicated way, love has a way of twisting itself back on us, catching us unawares. It's not easy to keep the different kinds of love, the different kinds of relationships, in their proper contexts. Even when we desire with our whole hearts to pursue love it is often very difficult to keep from falling in love....."
My favourite part: of the article:
"...The key to the solution of this problem lies not in our fighting the fact that we love someone, not in trying to love less in order to get back to phileo but in trying to love more, to get beyond eros to agape, the kind of love the Lord has for us. The exciting and beautiful thing about agape love is finding out that you truly can love someone very deeply and yet allow him complete freedom to respond to you in whatever way God leads him to respond...."
That really set off a minor epiphany for me.
One of those "I knew it all along, but I needed someone else to say it, before it suddenly clicked and cemented itself for real" moments. Part of me thinks it would have been great to have read this when I was in junior college and university when we understand so little about what love means.
Still, part of me also thinks it was precisely only because God let me struggle to find my own answers all those years that I understand and embrace fully what the article is talking about.
Some answers have to be lived through rather than merely read I guess.
Not all of us live in a Hollywood movie with magic dust to turn back time. :)
Current music:
Foo FIghters' Walking After You.
really mellow, really quietly romantic for a bunch of rather simple almost simplistic lyrics.
Must be the gorgeous guitar.
It's like the ending Julie Delpy and Ethan Hawke's characters wished they could have had in Before Sunset. Loved that movie for how real it was in the moments of genuine regret and pain that emerged in the conversations between the two.
++++++++++++++++++++++++
slightly off tangent but along similar threads of unrequited love, the movie made me think about this article I read earlier in the year. It has been one of the best articles i have read about one of the big problems that plague christian singles.
Agape - No Strings Attached
By Lia Fuller O'Neil
"Love. It's such a simple word. And such a complex emotion. Even when we desire to love in a simple, uncomplicated way, love has a way of twisting itself back on us, catching us unawares. It's not easy to keep the different kinds of love, the different kinds of relationships, in their proper contexts. Even when we desire with our whole hearts to pursue love it is often very difficult to keep from falling in love....."
My favourite part: of the article:
"...The key to the solution of this problem lies not in our fighting the fact that we love someone, not in trying to love less in order to get back to phileo but in trying to love more, to get beyond eros to agape, the kind of love the Lord has for us. The exciting and beautiful thing about agape love is finding out that you truly can love someone very deeply and yet allow him complete freedom to respond to you in whatever way God leads him to respond...."
That really set off a minor epiphany for me.
One of those "I knew it all along, but I needed someone else to say it, before it suddenly clicked and cemented itself for real" moments. Part of me thinks it would have been great to have read this when I was in junior college and university when we understand so little about what love means.
Still, part of me also thinks it was precisely only because God let me struggle to find my own answers all those years that I understand and embrace fully what the article is talking about.
Some answers have to be lived through rather than merely read I guess.
Not all of us live in a Hollywood movie with magic dust to turn back time. :)
Current music:
Foo FIghters' Walking After You.
really mellow, really quietly romantic for a bunch of rather simple almost simplistic lyrics.
Must be the gorgeous guitar.
Sunday, December 12, 2004
The Red Wedding
I think I post pics partly cos I like seeing images and cannot stand looking at plain white blogs.
so here ya go, another George RR Martin scene - this one from the horrible moment known as the Red Wedding aka George RR screws with his fans' heads yet again! Yeah I know I drew Jinglebell the jester a little young and skinnier than he is in the book, but ah well. I quite like the faux gold Rembrandt-y wash I did on the pic with me trusty Photoshop. Did wonders to the rough sketchiness of my original pencil drawing
so here ya go, another George RR Martin scene - this one from the horrible moment known as the Red Wedding aka George RR screws with his fans' heads yet again! Yeah I know I drew Jinglebell the jester a little young and skinnier than he is in the book, but ah well. I quite like the faux gold Rembrandt-y wash I did on the pic with me trusty Photoshop. Did wonders to the rough sketchiness of my original pencil drawing
Weekend thoughts & reflections on cell retreat
It's been quite the weekend of introspection, meaningful activity and personal assessements.
That's the other lovely part about December....the fuzzy wuzzy quotient skyrockets.
Saturday was a back to back doozy of meaningful activity:
10-12pm I led a discussion with my kids about "What defines a mature person?"...it was nice to see them step back a little and assess what they felt defined feeling "more grown up".
12pm -2pm I studied the first and second chapters of CS Leiws' seminal "Mere Christianity" with my favourite ex-kids in our first ever book club. Tough, philosophical stuff like "Is there a moral law? Isn't it just our instincts? Isnt it created by society?"...but i think they did a great job chewing on the material. We concluded on a nice note of the need to balance out intellectual discussion of right and wrong with a real understanding of how it works in real life in our hearts and lives.
2:30pm - 445pm me and kids rushed down to help Boys Brigade distribute Christmas gifts to the old single ah peks and aunties on welfare. Have never visited the floors of one-room flats of old people in the Chai Chee area before....imagine an almost dorm style arrangement for the elderly singles where you have whole corridors of one-room flats dedicated to them. It was actually rather heart-warming to see the old men watching out for each other with great earnestness, calling out affectionately, 'Oy open door, dont sleep already!" They wanted to make sure every one of their neighbours got their allotted bags of household stuff and groceries. I think the Chai Chee flats are a wonderful example of people-centric urban planning. The smiles of the oldies when they saw us simply carting the bags into their sparse little flats was so radiant, you think we were delivering diamonds instead of rice, oil, soap powder etc. One said warmly, "Wah so good, this year we get two bags." His gratefulness for so little, his humbleness in needs.... lots of lessons in there.
Had a nice talk with the Boys Brigade captain about the work BB tries to do. What a difficult ministry. Support teaching boys to lead meaningful lives! Support BB!
5-7pm Went straight to church for service and after that, a Christmassy dinner at a really fabulous Wallpaper-ish appartment. Got back past midnight and stayed up a bit preparing brekkie for cell retreat.
+++++++++++
Sunday, our cell group took advantage of a kind elder's offer of his swanky Balinese-y home for our humble annual retreat. Typically, a cell group retreat is a time of stilling and quieting ourselves to consider the year....the group's development and direction as well as our personal development and direction. Not as clinical sounding as it appears of course!
What I found most moving about cell retreat today was the honesty of emotions in sharing. It takes courage for people to open up and be willing to be made vulnerable in front of others. It was lovely to see that courage growing in our cell. I could not help but be all girly-teary about it...I love seeing the hand of God in the life of a person, the comfort and healing He offers to those who know HIm and live in His Truth, resting in His Love.
What was so amazing was how many of us began the year with questions, doubts, emptiness or troubles. Yet at the end of the year we stay sustained, hopeful. Though all of us have miles to go before we sleep, it was encouraging to know this :
On the simple wings of a hope, a prayer and Love sincerely offered by God and Neighbour, we can go on running that proverbial 1Paul-line race. There in lies the hope of the Christian life...that somewhere somehow a being mightier than all in Creation cares enough to carry us through our little lives.
had to rush off at the tail end of retreat for a 5pm-9pm presentation at the Youth Connect initiative I am involved in.
it was quite cool to see our workgroup's discussions getting a bit more concrete. February apparently is the week where we will present it at a ministerial, gah-men level....phwoar. dont playplay.
more later, before i forget what i wanted to capture about cell retreat.
eyes starting to shut down. The crazy weekend is kicking in my sleepy shutdown mode. zzzzz time.
That's the other lovely part about December....the fuzzy wuzzy quotient skyrockets.
Saturday was a back to back doozy of meaningful activity:
10-12pm I led a discussion with my kids about "What defines a mature person?"...it was nice to see them step back a little and assess what they felt defined feeling "more grown up".
12pm -2pm I studied the first and second chapters of CS Leiws' seminal "Mere Christianity" with my favourite ex-kids in our first ever book club. Tough, philosophical stuff like "Is there a moral law? Isn't it just our instincts? Isnt it created by society?"...but i think they did a great job chewing on the material. We concluded on a nice note of the need to balance out intellectual discussion of right and wrong with a real understanding of how it works in real life in our hearts and lives.
2:30pm - 445pm me and kids rushed down to help Boys Brigade distribute Christmas gifts to the old single ah peks and aunties on welfare. Have never visited the floors of one-room flats of old people in the Chai Chee area before....imagine an almost dorm style arrangement for the elderly singles where you have whole corridors of one-room flats dedicated to them. It was actually rather heart-warming to see the old men watching out for each other with great earnestness, calling out affectionately, 'Oy open door, dont sleep already!" They wanted to make sure every one of their neighbours got their allotted bags of household stuff and groceries. I think the Chai Chee flats are a wonderful example of people-centric urban planning. The smiles of the oldies when they saw us simply carting the bags into their sparse little flats was so radiant, you think we were delivering diamonds instead of rice, oil, soap powder etc. One said warmly, "Wah so good, this year we get two bags." His gratefulness for so little, his humbleness in needs.... lots of lessons in there.
Had a nice talk with the Boys Brigade captain about the work BB tries to do. What a difficult ministry. Support teaching boys to lead meaningful lives! Support BB!
5-7pm Went straight to church for service and after that, a Christmassy dinner at a really fabulous Wallpaper-ish appartment. Got back past midnight and stayed up a bit preparing brekkie for cell retreat.
+++++++++++
Sunday, our cell group took advantage of a kind elder's offer of his swanky Balinese-y home for our humble annual retreat. Typically, a cell group retreat is a time of stilling and quieting ourselves to consider the year....the group's development and direction as well as our personal development and direction. Not as clinical sounding as it appears of course!
What I found most moving about cell retreat today was the honesty of emotions in sharing. It takes courage for people to open up and be willing to be made vulnerable in front of others. It was lovely to see that courage growing in our cell. I could not help but be all girly-teary about it...I love seeing the hand of God in the life of a person, the comfort and healing He offers to those who know HIm and live in His Truth, resting in His Love.
What was so amazing was how many of us began the year with questions, doubts, emptiness or troubles. Yet at the end of the year we stay sustained, hopeful. Though all of us have miles to go before we sleep, it was encouraging to know this :
On the simple wings of a hope, a prayer and Love sincerely offered by God and Neighbour, we can go on running that proverbial 1Paul-line race. There in lies the hope of the Christian life...that somewhere somehow a being mightier than all in Creation cares enough to carry us through our little lives.
had to rush off at the tail end of retreat for a 5pm-9pm presentation at the Youth Connect initiative I am involved in.
it was quite cool to see our workgroup's discussions getting a bit more concrete. February apparently is the week where we will present it at a ministerial, gah-men level....phwoar. dont playplay.
more later, before i forget what i wanted to capture about cell retreat.
eyes starting to shut down. The crazy weekend is kicking in my sleepy shutdown mode. zzzzz time.
Friday, December 10, 2004
I hate Powerpoint
I hate Powerpoint with the fire of a thousand suns.
Its 230am and am still making ugly slides. If not for nice iTunes churning out my Christmas Cheer list I would be tempted to say Bah Humbug. rushing out presentation for this sunday's Youth Connect...and I got 10am class to teach tomorrow. Good thing we just discussing Colin Goh's seminal article about the Singapore Plan vs. The Singapore Dream. That's always a fun essay to talk about. :)
Current music:
Tori Amos' Have Youself a Merry Little Christmas - very ethereal and melancholic!
Harry Connick Jr's Ave Maria - strangely pleasing
Bing Crosby's The First Noel - love his voiceover in the beginning. old school christmas nostalgia
Christmas Time is Near- The Chipmunks - sue me, it was my childhood favourite. :)
Silent Night - Nat King Cole
O Holy Night - Jewel version as well as Christina Aguilera version. my fave caroles, not my fave versions but strangely compelling
sighhhhh would rather be staying up baking Christmas cookies, or hanging up lights. bugger
Its 230am and am still making ugly slides. If not for nice iTunes churning out my Christmas Cheer list I would be tempted to say Bah Humbug. rushing out presentation for this sunday's Youth Connect...and I got 10am class to teach tomorrow. Good thing we just discussing Colin Goh's seminal article about the Singapore Plan vs. The Singapore Dream. That's always a fun essay to talk about. :)
Current music:
Tori Amos' Have Youself a Merry Little Christmas - very ethereal and melancholic!
Harry Connick Jr's Ave Maria - strangely pleasing
Bing Crosby's The First Noel - love his voiceover in the beginning. old school christmas nostalgia
Christmas Time is Near- The Chipmunks - sue me, it was my childhood favourite. :)
Silent Night - Nat King Cole
O Holy Night - Jewel version as well as Christina Aguilera version. my fave caroles, not my fave versions but strangely compelling
sighhhhh would rather be staying up baking Christmas cookies, or hanging up lights. bugger
Thursday, December 09, 2004
O Frodo, where art thou?
Darn, no LOTR extravaganza to look forward to this December. Sigh.
TolkeinFanGirl's long awaited Director's Cut of ROTK is still not in yet either.
No more Viggo as Aragorn. Bigger sigh.
TolkeinFanGirl's long awaited Director's Cut of ROTK is still not in yet either.
No more Viggo as Aragorn. Bigger sigh.
There is No Middle Ground
Spurred by fantasy genre-ish entries, have decided to upload yet another picture. Its yet another George RR Martin one that I drew ---supposed to be Robb Stark, the fateful young King of the North. Though some fellow George RR fans insist it looks more like Robb's poor daddy Eddard.
The quote in the pic is one of my favourites from the book:
"When you play the Game of Thrones,
you win or you die.
There is no middle ground."
Cersei Lannister
As you can see, I would so love George RR's book to be made into a LOTResque movie...I even created a fake movie poster for it sigh. fandom knows no bounds
The quote in the pic is one of my favourites from the book:
"When you play the Game of Thrones,
you win or you die.
There is no middle ground."
Cersei Lannister
As you can see, I would so love George RR's book to be made into a LOTResque movie...I even created a fake movie poster for it sigh. fandom knows no bounds
Oxymoron: Christian Gamer?
Was reading Don's comment (hi Don! at least i hope you are the don i know) about DND under my spinach pasta entry, wanted to reply but Blogger hates my OS.So I thought would do it in an entry instead.
I realise that in my old church I might not have so readily talked about my love for gaming as gaming has come to be associated strongly with satanism, occult etc since the 1980s. I would approach the DND issue with as much balance as the whole "Harry Potter is Satan" fiasco.
Don't know how many of you have seen this infamous anti DND tract drawn by an infamous guy called Jack Chick, who is renown for adrawing a couple of other anti-Catholic Church, anti-Islam etc tracts. For a more detailed run-down on his point of view, click here.
Personally, what I feel about DND and gaming in general (ala Never winter Nights!) is summed up by this famous article by Mark Joseph Young, a youth pastor/DM. He points out the potential pitfalls in it and also the possibility of it being a teaching tool.
He also has a cool little alignment quiz here, if you wanna find out what moral alignment your character would take on in the DND world.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
My earliest memory of DND was watching my brother DM all nighter games with his friends. They build massive, elaborate landscapes on our family ping-pong table, accessorised with little hand-painted lead miniatures which pale in detail compared to today's metal die-cast stuff. Anyhow one day my brother was bored and desperate enough to make me play a game with him as all his pals were out. I must have been in lower primary school back then. Did not know any rules, I just rolled dice when my brother said roll and watched my tragic little band of characters get killed from my incompetence. :) I was playing an early DND module based on the Dragonlance Chronicles series of books so my characters were actually pre-made ones based on the characters in the books. So when my favourites bit the dust, I did feel sore. I think I killed off either Goldmoon or Sturn Brightblade or something. :)
I only started playing DND for real in 2003 with a group of university friends - we played a total of 2 campaigns and 3 casts of characters. One cast got tragically wiped out in a DM orchestrated wave of killer goblins who managed to cut off all our heads literally. Stupid dice. Unfair DM.
I tend to keep picking cleric characters and find it interestingly very difficult to make unethical decisions even within the "game" context. I persist in playing the medic/ warrior archetype that must right wrongs. I ought to play paladins given my tendencies but secretly think they are uncool. haha. I pick neutral good alignments but always get warned in game that I am playing towards lawful good all the time. Stupid do-gooder cleric who tells rogues not to pick pocket and always nobly attempts to reason with the Big Bad VIllain.
Presently, I play DND and Earthdawn with a group of 20/30somethings. My current DM and his wife, also a gamer, are both Christians. Personally, I thought one of the most brilliant moments in his campaign was when all of us were trapped in some kind of mystical moral limbo where we faced Judgement. Those of us who chose to hold onto self-centredness stayed in limbo, those who chose to admit our wrongs were given redemption, a second chance.
Okay, so its not exactly word for word BIble theology but it does give an interesting opportunity to discuss ethical "what would you do? why did you do that?" situations with your non-christian gaming buddies. :)
I also realise why non gamers may feel antsy about how "harmless" these games are. Gamers talk casually about "casting spells" and "memorising spells" - no actual memorising or casting of mumbojumbo actually happens at all in the game. When I say I had to memorise a sleep spell, all I mean is that I had to pencil in the words "sleep spell" onto my character sheet . If i am playing Never Winter on the comp, memorising spells just means clicking a button.
that said, there is a whole genre of gaming known as LARP - live action role play. now honestly that gets a bit more dodgy. While conventional table top gaming is just a bunch of nerds (me!) sitting around talking and imagining stuff in the head, LARP advocates you Really get into character. Thats when reality can go fuzzy to me...for kids with low self-esteem, the glamour of playing out a powerful, beautiful, intelligent alter ego can be intoxicating i would imagine.
DND table top gaming still happens to be the cheapest way to get your fantast genre fix. It's like how dinosaurs used to play Diablo and Neverwinter Nights back when computers were still orange and green VGA graphics. ah the good old days. It's imaginative, creative, lots of fun interaction, you see sides of your friends that never came out before but yes....as with all things on this sordid world, exercise caution and never go overboard. and never never never let it compromise the more important things in life. :)
I realise that in my old church I might not have so readily talked about my love for gaming as gaming has come to be associated strongly with satanism, occult etc since the 1980s. I would approach the DND issue with as much balance as the whole "Harry Potter is Satan" fiasco.
Don't know how many of you have seen this infamous anti DND tract drawn by an infamous guy called Jack Chick, who is renown for adrawing a couple of other anti-Catholic Church, anti-Islam etc tracts. For a more detailed run-down on his point of view, click here.
Personally, what I feel about DND and gaming in general (ala Never winter Nights!) is summed up by this famous article by Mark Joseph Young, a youth pastor/DM. He points out the potential pitfalls in it and also the possibility of it being a teaching tool.
He also has a cool little alignment quiz here, if you wanna find out what moral alignment your character would take on in the DND world.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
My earliest memory of DND was watching my brother DM all nighter games with his friends. They build massive, elaborate landscapes on our family ping-pong table, accessorised with little hand-painted lead miniatures which pale in detail compared to today's metal die-cast stuff. Anyhow one day my brother was bored and desperate enough to make me play a game with him as all his pals were out. I must have been in lower primary school back then. Did not know any rules, I just rolled dice when my brother said roll and watched my tragic little band of characters get killed from my incompetence. :) I was playing an early DND module based on the Dragonlance Chronicles series of books so my characters were actually pre-made ones based on the characters in the books. So when my favourites bit the dust, I did feel sore. I think I killed off either Goldmoon or Sturn Brightblade or something. :)
I only started playing DND for real in 2003 with a group of university friends - we played a total of 2 campaigns and 3 casts of characters. One cast got tragically wiped out in a DM orchestrated wave of killer goblins who managed to cut off all our heads literally. Stupid dice. Unfair DM.
I tend to keep picking cleric characters and find it interestingly very difficult to make unethical decisions even within the "game" context. I persist in playing the medic/ warrior archetype that must right wrongs. I ought to play paladins given my tendencies but secretly think they are uncool. haha. I pick neutral good alignments but always get warned in game that I am playing towards lawful good all the time. Stupid do-gooder cleric who tells rogues not to pick pocket and always nobly attempts to reason with the Big Bad VIllain.
Presently, I play DND and Earthdawn with a group of 20/30somethings. My current DM and his wife, also a gamer, are both Christians. Personally, I thought one of the most brilliant moments in his campaign was when all of us were trapped in some kind of mystical moral limbo where we faced Judgement. Those of us who chose to hold onto self-centredness stayed in limbo, those who chose to admit our wrongs were given redemption, a second chance.
Okay, so its not exactly word for word BIble theology but it does give an interesting opportunity to discuss ethical "what would you do? why did you do that?" situations with your non-christian gaming buddies. :)
I also realise why non gamers may feel antsy about how "harmless" these games are. Gamers talk casually about "casting spells" and "memorising spells" - no actual memorising or casting of mumbojumbo actually happens at all in the game. When I say I had to memorise a sleep spell, all I mean is that I had to pencil in the words "sleep spell" onto my character sheet . If i am playing Never Winter on the comp, memorising spells just means clicking a button.
that said, there is a whole genre of gaming known as LARP - live action role play. now honestly that gets a bit more dodgy. While conventional table top gaming is just a bunch of nerds (me!) sitting around talking and imagining stuff in the head, LARP advocates you Really get into character. Thats when reality can go fuzzy to me...for kids with low self-esteem, the glamour of playing out a powerful, beautiful, intelligent alter ego can be intoxicating i would imagine.
DND table top gaming still happens to be the cheapest way to get your fantast genre fix. It's like how dinosaurs used to play Diablo and Neverwinter Nights back when computers were still orange and green VGA graphics. ah the good old days. It's imaginative, creative, lots of fun interaction, you see sides of your friends that never came out before but yes....as with all things on this sordid world, exercise caution and never go overboard. and never never never let it compromise the more important things in life. :)
Wednesday, December 08, 2004
fresh spinach pasta drying on hangers
one of many killer photos commemorating crazy foodie weekend from TolkeinFanGirl's handydandy digicam.
That's El' Aubergine's fabulously atas spinach pasta surreally drying on cheap plastic clothes hangers. dontcha just love the colours? :)
beat that jamie oliver. hee.
That's El' Aubergine's fabulously atas spinach pasta surreally drying on cheap plastic clothes hangers. dontcha just love the colours? :)
beat that jamie oliver. hee.
'Cos DND ain't mean Dinner and Dance
this was a sketch of the first group of characters my friends and i ever player in our first DND (dungeons and dragons for all you newbies) campaign.
I lovingly dub all my DND drawings as propaganda. This is because while the pictures make us look heroic and worthy, truthfully we played like a bunch of idiots.
the elven rogue (same one from some posts down) fought incessantly with the dwarven cleric. Oh and rogue accidentally acquired vampiric abilities that made her liability.
dwarven cleric had bad habit of drinking every questionable substance in every trap laden room; though he was SUPPOSED to be lawful good, he regularly made unethical choices that caused even his God (in guise of fed up DM) to abandon him.
Elven sorceress traumatised DM by "dirty talking" guards to get them on her side.
i played half elven ranger who could not cast even one stupid Talk With Animals spell because I accidentally placed too low a score under Wisdom trait to allow me to cast magic. Pui. Was not a happy ranger.
fun times. :)
I lovingly dub all my DND drawings as propaganda. This is because while the pictures make us look heroic and worthy, truthfully we played like a bunch of idiots.
the elven rogue (same one from some posts down) fought incessantly with the dwarven cleric. Oh and rogue accidentally acquired vampiric abilities that made her liability.
dwarven cleric had bad habit of drinking every questionable substance in every trap laden room; though he was SUPPOSED to be lawful good, he regularly made unethical choices that caused even his God (in guise of fed up DM) to abandon him.
Elven sorceress traumatised DM by "dirty talking" guards to get them on her side.
i played half elven ranger who could not cast even one stupid Talk With Animals spell because I accidentally placed too low a score under Wisdom trait to allow me to cast magic. Pui. Was not a happy ranger.
fun times. :)
Sunday, December 05, 2004
Fresh Pasta Rocks!
This weekend was first time I experienced the joys of communal fresh spinach pasta making. Gorgeous, jade, speckly sheets of them! All thanks to El-Aubergine's chutzpah in suggesting we tread where only the most intrepid of cooks go. :)
the final menu on sat? (to be updated with pics from TolkeinFG hopefully)
pardon sorry collection of nicknames..totally going by word associations.
subject to change. forgive liberties i am taking. :)
El Aubergine - fresh spinach pasta, tiramisu
TolkeinFanGrrrrrl - thai glass noodle salad with kick ass sauce
GeekSupreme - extravagant boozy clam cream sauce for pasta
MojoJojo - Fabulous rustic apple crumble
PhotoBuff - Mediterranean seafood rice
Headhuntress- roasted garlic portabello mushrooms
NoLamb - Roast beef with yoghurt mint sauce
OrangeClouds - mezze style grilled vegetables ; macerated strawberries in mint balsamic vinegar
AnimeQueen - Head Sous chef, keeper of lychee sorbet and bringer of Queer Eye for the Straight Guy tapes. whoohoo!
WatermelonGal & WeaponSmith- fruits
WackoJacko - grilled eel and sashimi
I made sesame encrusted Japanese style green beans as well as assortment of sauces to go with the pasta (miso-mirin clam sauce with nori flakes; chilli lemon tuna sauce; garlic mushroom chive sauce)
Much pleased. Much full. Ah the simple joys of December. First of many parties to come.
the final menu on sat? (to be updated with pics from TolkeinFG hopefully)
pardon sorry collection of nicknames..totally going by word associations.
subject to change. forgive liberties i am taking. :)
El Aubergine - fresh spinach pasta, tiramisu
TolkeinFanGrrrrrl - thai glass noodle salad with kick ass sauce
GeekSupreme - extravagant boozy clam cream sauce for pasta
MojoJojo - Fabulous rustic apple crumble
PhotoBuff - Mediterranean seafood rice
Headhuntress- roasted garlic portabello mushrooms
NoLamb - Roast beef with yoghurt mint sauce
OrangeClouds - mezze style grilled vegetables ; macerated strawberries in mint balsamic vinegar
AnimeQueen - Head Sous chef, keeper of lychee sorbet and bringer of Queer Eye for the Straight Guy tapes. whoohoo!
WatermelonGal & WeaponSmith- fruits
WackoJacko - grilled eel and sashimi
I made sesame encrusted Japanese style green beans as well as assortment of sauces to go with the pasta (miso-mirin clam sauce with nori flakes; chilli lemon tuna sauce; garlic mushroom chive sauce)
Much pleased. Much full. Ah the simple joys of December. First of many parties to come.
How do you measure a year?
am so loving the december christmas vibe. not just for the whole present shopping, cooking, partying shebang but for that sweet, sentimental feeling of living through another year.
I love growing older because of the newness it brings each year to the way i look at things, live and love.
I always love the end of year feeling....a time to take stock of whether you are proud of what you did, what significant contributions you made, whether you have grown up...
...it amazes me that every year after 1997 when I became a Christian has been better than the year before in all the most meaningful ways.
One of my favourite songs from RENT the musical is the one that asks "How do you measure a year?" You can measure it in achievements, books that you read, money that you earned, cups of coffee....but the author of RENT suggested we measure it in love.
i agree some what but i want to complete the picture a little.
Measure a year in Love indeed. but not simple fluffy, easy love but the gutsy, tough, enduring kind that Jesus Christ advocated.
The kind of love that is patient, kind, does not envy, does not boast, not proud, not rude, does not seek to please oneself, not angered easily, delights not in evil but delights in Truth.
The kind of love that always hopes, always trusts, always perseveres.
How does my year measure up in how much i loved my family, friends, strangers, students, enemies? Better than the last but definitely miles and miles to go before i sleep. :)
Always a sobering question to weigh out not just at christmas time but every single day of our lives until we see Him face to face.
Good news is that our effort does not matter as much as our faith that He can change our hard hearts as surely as He put breath in our bones.
Hallelujah, what a Saviour. :) May we never forget the true meaning of Christ being born into our silly, sordid world.
Current mood: sentimental
Current music: my friend's newly minted CD release!!!! "In a little while" by Hwee.
I love growing older because of the newness it brings each year to the way i look at things, live and love.
I always love the end of year feeling....a time to take stock of whether you are proud of what you did, what significant contributions you made, whether you have grown up...
...it amazes me that every year after 1997 when I became a Christian has been better than the year before in all the most meaningful ways.
One of my favourite songs from RENT the musical is the one that asks "How do you measure a year?" You can measure it in achievements, books that you read, money that you earned, cups of coffee....but the author of RENT suggested we measure it in love.
i agree some what but i want to complete the picture a little.
Measure a year in Love indeed. but not simple fluffy, easy love but the gutsy, tough, enduring kind that Jesus Christ advocated.
The kind of love that is patient, kind, does not envy, does not boast, not proud, not rude, does not seek to please oneself, not angered easily, delights not in evil but delights in Truth.
The kind of love that always hopes, always trusts, always perseveres.
How does my year measure up in how much i loved my family, friends, strangers, students, enemies? Better than the last but definitely miles and miles to go before i sleep. :)
Always a sobering question to weigh out not just at christmas time but every single day of our lives until we see Him face to face.
Good news is that our effort does not matter as much as our faith that He can change our hard hearts as surely as He put breath in our bones.
Hallelujah, what a Saviour. :) May we never forget the true meaning of Christ being born into our silly, sordid world.
Current mood: sentimental
Current music: my friend's newly minted CD release!!!! "In a little while" by Hwee.
Wednesday, December 01, 2004
TAUFIK IS THE BEST!
Just watched Singapore Idol and Taufik IS THE BEST!!!!!!
He totally blew away Me and Mrs Jones. Am so in agreement with Dick Lee when he said the song was "HHHHHHHOT!" Dick Lee was SO crushing on Taufik when the camera panned on him for his judgement of the song :)
Sigh but the evil masses will vote Sly the Jay Chou of Singapore. I just know it.
Taufik! Wo yong yuan zi ci ni!
The song written for Singapore Idol so sucked btw. Sounded identical to American Idol....blahblah muountains, blahblah hope. blahblah dreams, soaring ballad....etc etc. geez.
i shall be total fangirl and put a link to taufik's website here. the audio section has all his MP3s of his performances for download. WHEE! :D
LISTEN TO TAUFIK HERE! :D
sigh, how cute is taufik, man. like SO CUTE. Must....concentrate...voodoo...on Sly!
oh golly.....am typing this in real time now as my family watches the results on telly.
gurmit hurry up! oh golly tension is mad.....AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HE WON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
take deep breath. :DDDDDDD
current mood: taufik! taufik!
current music: Me and Mrs Jones......so must go find the song!
He totally blew away Me and Mrs Jones. Am so in agreement with Dick Lee when he said the song was "HHHHHHHOT!" Dick Lee was SO crushing on Taufik when the camera panned on him for his judgement of the song :)
Sigh but the evil masses will vote Sly the Jay Chou of Singapore. I just know it.
Taufik! Wo yong yuan zi ci ni!
The song written for Singapore Idol so sucked btw. Sounded identical to American Idol....blahblah muountains, blahblah hope. blahblah dreams, soaring ballad....etc etc. geez.
i shall be total fangirl and put a link to taufik's website here. the audio section has all his MP3s of his performances for download. WHEE! :D
LISTEN TO TAUFIK HERE! :D
sigh, how cute is taufik, man. like SO CUTE. Must....concentrate...voodoo...on Sly!
oh golly.....am typing this in real time now as my family watches the results on telly.
gurmit hurry up! oh golly tension is mad.....AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HE WON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
take deep breath. :DDDDDDD
current mood: taufik! taufik!
current music: Me and Mrs Jones......so must go find the song!
musings on singlehood
WARNING: may be mushy. people with low tolerance level of ooey gooey stuff and feel hair stand DO NOT PROCEED. you have been forewarned. :)
last night's bible study was on the single issue, always a heartfelt topic in ARPC which has a substantial amount of attractive single men and women running around.
One interesting question that came up: Is marriage an issue of "if it happens" or "when it happens"?
I guess for me its a mixture: I lean towards the school of thought "if it happens". I would be one happy gal if marriage was in the cards. But nothing that I see in the BIble tells me that its something that will definitely happen. The BIble's truths as far as I know are :It is not good for man to be alone. Love your God with all your heart, and all your mind and all your soul. Love your neighbour. Marriage seems like an amazing gift but not all get it and we are not told to expect it.
Singleness can be an amazing thing. I suspect at times that God let me be single for so long so I could work on knowing myself, building up friendships, working with kids, feeling free to commit myself to whatever cause I dream of, feeling ready to jump in and contribute to anything I believe in. The freedom to live a life for others is before me everyday. Its a good thing.
Sometimes I fear enjoying singlehood too much because if I do, marriage looks less of a possibility.
I can imagine the wonders and good stuff marriage brings and am aware of the sobering realities of a lifetime commitment to husband and children. That does not stop me from thinking I would love to be given that chance to have a shot at trying!
Can you want to be single and married with the same longing? I dunno....maybe. I think I can foresee living my life either way and finding peace and joy in that. My heart beats for both the romance of a single, crusading life as well as the romance of a quieter one, bound to another.
I guess I am in love with God more than I am with the idea of singlehood or marriage. I believe wholeheartedly that living my life and making choices with his type of Love will help me lead either a worthy single life or worthy married one. If I fall for some guy, may I be led by Grace to work that relationship within the context of God's work, family, students and friends. If I find myself 80 years old, wrinkly and single, may I be led by Grace to give myself even more intensely to God and all others.
I guess If a life-time marriage should come to my life one day, I hope I can accept it with as much humility and rejoicing as I have come to accept my single life.
In singleness at this moment, I feel at peace. I feel whole.
Dare I say it, I feel wanted and needed.
Praise be to God.
ok....now to make sure i can say all this to myself on a bad day when the lonely bugs bite! haha.
present mood: musing, slightly silly
present music: Oprah Winfrey on the telly talking about women's vote. I love that woman.
last night's bible study was on the single issue, always a heartfelt topic in ARPC which has a substantial amount of attractive single men and women running around.
One interesting question that came up: Is marriage an issue of "if it happens" or "when it happens"?
I guess for me its a mixture: I lean towards the school of thought "if it happens". I would be one happy gal if marriage was in the cards. But nothing that I see in the BIble tells me that its something that will definitely happen. The BIble's truths as far as I know are :It is not good for man to be alone. Love your God with all your heart, and all your mind and all your soul. Love your neighbour. Marriage seems like an amazing gift but not all get it and we are not told to expect it.
Singleness can be an amazing thing. I suspect at times that God let me be single for so long so I could work on knowing myself, building up friendships, working with kids, feeling free to commit myself to whatever cause I dream of, feeling ready to jump in and contribute to anything I believe in. The freedom to live a life for others is before me everyday. Its a good thing.
Sometimes I fear enjoying singlehood too much because if I do, marriage looks less of a possibility.
I can imagine the wonders and good stuff marriage brings and am aware of the sobering realities of a lifetime commitment to husband and children. That does not stop me from thinking I would love to be given that chance to have a shot at trying!
Can you want to be single and married with the same longing? I dunno....maybe. I think I can foresee living my life either way and finding peace and joy in that. My heart beats for both the romance of a single, crusading life as well as the romance of a quieter one, bound to another.
I guess I am in love with God more than I am with the idea of singlehood or marriage. I believe wholeheartedly that living my life and making choices with his type of Love will help me lead either a worthy single life or worthy married one. If I fall for some guy, may I be led by Grace to work that relationship within the context of God's work, family, students and friends. If I find myself 80 years old, wrinkly and single, may I be led by Grace to give myself even more intensely to God and all others.
I guess If a life-time marriage should come to my life one day, I hope I can accept it with as much humility and rejoicing as I have come to accept my single life.
In singleness at this moment, I feel at peace. I feel whole.
Dare I say it, I feel wanted and needed.
Praise be to God.
ok....now to make sure i can say all this to myself on a bad day when the lonely bugs bite! haha.
present mood: musing, slightly silly
present music: Oprah Winfrey on the telly talking about women's vote. I love that woman.
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