musings on singlehood

WARNING: may be mushy. people with low tolerance level of ooey gooey stuff and feel hair stand DO NOT PROCEED. you have been forewarned. :)

last night's bible study was on the single issue, always a heartfelt topic in ARPC which has a substantial amount of attractive single men and women running around.

One interesting question that came up: Is marriage an issue of "if it happens" or "when it happens"?

I guess for me its a mixture: I lean towards the school of thought "if it happens". I would be one happy gal if marriage was in the cards. But nothing that I see in the BIble tells me that its something that will definitely happen. The BIble's truths as far as I know are :It is not good for man to be alone. Love your God with all your heart, and all your mind and all your soul. Love your neighbour. Marriage seems like an amazing gift but not all get it and we are not told to expect it.

Singleness can be an amazing thing. I suspect at times that God let me be single for so long so I could work on knowing myself, building up friendships, working with kids, feeling free to commit myself to whatever cause I dream of, feeling ready to jump in and contribute to anything I believe in. The freedom to live a life for others is before me everyday. Its a good thing.

Sometimes I fear enjoying singlehood too much because if I do, marriage looks less of a possibility.

I can imagine the wonders and good stuff marriage brings and am aware of the sobering realities of a lifetime commitment to husband and children. That does not stop me from thinking I would love to be given that chance to have a shot at trying!

Can you want to be single and married with the same longing? I dunno....maybe. I think I can foresee living my life either way and finding peace and joy in that. My heart beats for both the romance of a single, crusading life as well as the romance of a quieter one, bound to another.

I guess I am in love with God more than I am with the idea of singlehood or marriage. I believe wholeheartedly that living my life and making choices with his type of Love will help me lead either a worthy single life or worthy married one. If I fall for some guy, may I be led by Grace to work that relationship within the context of God's work, family, students and friends. If I find myself 80 years old, wrinkly and single, may I be led by Grace to give myself even more intensely to God and all others.

I guess If a life-time marriage should come to my life one day, I hope I can accept it with as much humility and rejoicing as I have come to accept my single life.

In singleness at this moment, I feel at peace. I feel whole.
Dare I say it, I feel wanted and needed.
Praise be to God.

ok....now to make sure i can say all this to myself on a bad day when the lonely bugs bite! haha.


present mood: musing, slightly silly
present music: Oprah Winfrey on the telly talking about women's vote. I love that woman.