mating rituals of the glam & restless

I was innocously marking terrible essays by kids ("I like playing ruby. Ruby is fun. I like my ruby coach....." URGHHHHHHHHHH) at cedele depot down at raffles city round 4pm....

...when all of a sudden a swishy, glammy Chinese couple settle down the seat next to me. I would not have looked up except both were speaking in super thick genuine sounding american accents. Both were quite urban fashionista looking and were above average lookers - the man had a fashionable leather man-bag, a slick looking goatee and fetching office wear; the woman had perfect makeup, a slick ponytail, a very cute classic handbag-jazzy skirt-sweet little sweather look. Both were wearing similar shades of black, white and grey colours.

It was hard to ignore the conversation they were having right next to me. Me guess is I hardly look like I move in their exalted circles so I did not present enough of a threat for them to have PC conversation. They were SO OBVIOUSLY FLIRTING with each other - the guy being alot more aggressive and obvious; the girl was quite coy. I swear I had to stop my eyeballs from rolling in sockets as I tried to concentrate on marking.

This is my summary of their little mating ritual:
(I KID YOU NOT! You think I can actually make this stuff up?)

ENTER GlamGal (GG) and GlamMan (GM).
GG sweetly settles GM in his seat and brings him his coffee and gets variety of cookies.

GG plays 'sweet little girl / sex-goddess-of-your-dreams' card:
Quotable quote: "Ohhh I love a good cookie. It's like a good kiss....you just want to have more and more with every taste. And a good cup of tea....that's like a nice weekend - warm and relaxing."

GM parries with 'sweet man-who-notices-your-inner-beauty' card
Quotable quote: "You know what I like about you? You are so genteel and sweet. (ok this is funny when you compare to what happens later)

GM plays ' Look at my flirty rogue side'
Quotable quote: "When you asked me for coffee or tea, I was hoping you would add the "or me" part'

GG plays 'i am not a forward woman' card
Quotable quote: "You know I have a friend who I want to introduce to you. She's your type."

GM plays 'i am not that into you' card
Quotable quote:"Well then, tell me is she hot?"

GM goes for shock and awe tactic
Quotable quote: "But more importantly, tell me, are you palming me off? Do I scare you?"

GG plays trump card ' I am highly desired by others'. She gets phone call which she entertains for a full 15 minutes - obviously talking to another male friend who is flirting with her on phone. She simultaneously assures GM she knows he still exists by caressing his chin to turn his head towards her in sweet manner.

Quotable quote: "Oh (Friend on phone), don't you want to know what I do with all my boy toys?"

VERY Quotable quote:: "Oh yes he's back in town again. I don't understand him. I mean I will do my duties to him as a good wife but apart from that he can't expect much else." (!!!!!!!good grief she's married!)

GM trying hard to disguise his peeved state. Bored, looks around and sadly my table has nothing of interest save many ugly looking giam-chye essays of my students with multiple red marks. FOr a moment there is discernable silence as they try to figure out how to continue after awkward phonecall.

GM plays final hand ' I am a man of mystery for you to unwind' card
Quotable quote: "You know you think I am obvious but actually I have a lot more underneath than you think. I used to have problems with my self-esteem but the moment I got it back, I said never again will I doubt myself"

GG cool, composed and with upper hand
Quotable quote:"There is a lot about me you have yet to find out as well."

They then get up to leave with strange non-sequitur
GG "what are you wearing tomorrow?"
GM "I am thinking of a white top, with black shorts perhaps (etc details)"
GG "so I will be seeing you tommorrow then?"
GM "definintely, I'll make sure of it"

END OF STUDY IN MATING RITUALS

geez was that a strange marking session. A lot more interesting than the stuff my kids wrote about at least!